Wednesday, July 29, 2009


My hunger does not originate from my stomach. My hunger, the hunger that helms the bridge of my demise, lives somewhere underneath my highlighted locks and behind my blue eyes. That is a dangerous place for my hunger to live, in such close proximity to my mouth!

I sit in meetings and look around and wonder. I don't see any Twiggies or Heidi Klums, but I see others smaller than me. I have to ask myself, "What control do these people have that is lacking in me?" I don't have the answer.

I was sitting in the car the other day waiting on Tracey to come out of the store. This tiny little thing, probably a size 4, came walking out and suddenly it all struck me as very funny. I have a damn band around my stomach to help me lose weight, yet this girl can just do it! Just be tiny! And what is even better is that even WITH weight loss surgery, I will probably never be as tiny as her.

I know that I have the power to make healthy choices. I have lost 80 pounds in six months. But I also know that sometimes I can't find my self control. It's like "control" took a flight to the Florida Keys for a week of snorkeling & margaritas!

Ah...I feel better now! Happy Thursday ya'll!


  1. I hear you! Sometimes, although I KNOW I want this... I find myself putting crap in my mouth for the sheer sake of it being in my mouth. Not because I'm hungry, mind you! But, at least we're THINKING about what we're doing, whether or not it includes a margarita (which sounds good right about now)!

  2. Hello Amy! My name is Ramona and I have spent the last 2 days reading your entire blog. I must say that I find a lot of similarities in us, and a lot of good differences. I love how you are so confident in your body even as a bigger girl. I love how you have a small bodied man, but rock him anyway. Your humor is refreshing and I'm so happy for your big loss in just 6 months. I am now a loyal follower and have started my own blog, but can admit that I am not nearly as diligent at it as you are. I was banded on 6/24/09 and am still in the liquids stage, which i HATE with a passion. Here is my blog link in case your interested.

    So thanks for being great and please know I follow along
    Have a great Thursday!

  3. My hunger (or psuedohunger) lives in my head too... ugh - why is it so hard to control... I'm right there with you!! - Love your blog by the way - Im 6 weeks post surgery and you help keep me rolling along!! THANKS!

  4. Yikes! I wonder how I will deal with the head hunger once I am banded too...cause that is how I eat too, with my brain, not my stomach.