Thursday, May 28, 2015

My relationship with food: Dream World Scenerio

In a Dream World, my relationship with food would be somewhere in line with the 80/20 rule. If you aren't familiar with the concept you can google it or read a quick little article here, but ultimately the premise is...80% of the time you eat clean and healthy and 20% of the time you can have a little indulgence.  And since nothing is "off limits", you are less likely to go hog wild crazy when you do nibble (or sip) something less than clean and healthy.

It sounds pleasant enough.

I don't want to be a slave to the scale (although in my losing phase to get to my goal, I wouldn't have given that sucker up.  Weighing weekly helped me stay on track).  But in the maintenance phase of my life, I don't really want to have to worry about that number on a scale.

I don't want to track my calories.  Although this can be beneficial and educational, I know the calorie count (pretty close) of most food items.  And I kinda think that calorie counting can turn one unhealthy relationship with food (binging, overeating, NOT thinking of calories or nutrition) into another unhealthy relationship with food.  I want to feed my body things that I know are good for me, the majority of the time, and enjoy the "bad" foods when I do eat them.  There shouldn't be a vicious cycle of self-hate if I eat a Twinkie.  Even if I eat 2 Twinkies, wash it down with a Pepsi, and then eat a Snickers.  I'm okay.  You're okay.  We're okay.

I should say that I don't really have a vicious cycle of self-hate when I eat bad.  But I know those who do.  And I think the negative self-talk that I did have going on when I went cray-cray with my food choices was more tied to the number reflected on the scale.

I want to be able enjoy healthy food choices.  I want to choose to surround myself with snacks for my grazing that are natural and perhaps a titch more clean than my beloved cheetos and Pepsi.  But I don't want to say I am NEVER eating cheetos or drinking Pepsi again.

you dig?

So that's my dream world.  And maybe it can happen.

A girl's got to dream.

"Welcome to Hollywood!  What's your dream?" -Pretty Woman

You're welcome.

Oh.  One more thing before I go.  When I first started this blog, there were like...oh...4 of us blogging about the lapband.  I remember the days of constantly checking my blog feed for an update from someone...anyone.  And then, there were over a hundred of us...easy.  And reading and commenting on everyone's blogs was like working a full-time job.  Well now, there are only a few bloggers left...and sometimes that can make you feel like you are talking to yourself.

Well a fellow bandster (for now anyways) has changed the focus of her blog from lapband life to one focused on health and wellness...and so I wanted to give her a shout out if you are looking for new reading material.

Amanda's Blog

Happy Thursday Dudes.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Day 2 of Clean Eating: MAN...I'm SuperFit

I always enjoy the temporary high I get when I have been making healthier food choices for say...oh...almost 24 hours.  It's like all of a sudden I look skinnier, my pants are a little looser, and my skin is glowing.  Now, the truth may be that I may actually be bloated, my pants are ripping at the seams, and I have a bad case of adult acne...

but if it's so....

don't tell me yo!

Heather concocted this diet idea of juicing and protein shaking and clean eating, and in true fashion, yesterday...around 2pm, I got a text from her saying she was starving and that we should quit and have pizza and beer.

Yeah.  You read that right.  HEATHER is the quitter.  Not me.  But I said NO.  NO NO GIRLFRIEND.  WE BE ON A DIET.

And although she wined and cried, and came home and asked if the green salsa verde we had in the fridge was considered "clean" and that she would eat it with a spoon...we persevered.  We juiced for din din and had a pickle for dessert.

Today I had a protein shake blended with a cup of frozen peaches for me old breakfast, and then I had a Kind bar for a snack.  THEN, I went to Fresh Market and bought all sorts of "clean" snacks and ate a damn pear.  For lunch I had my black bean soup (you can find the recipe here, along with some of my other favorite soup recipes), and I am drinking my juice I made this morning.  Plugging right along.

Hope all is well my little lovelies!


Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Nearly 6 Months Without Stepping on the Scale

Well, June 1st will mark the half way point of my New Year's Resolution of not weighing myself.  I still don't miss it, although it's odd to start a "diet" without having a number to guide you.  So, since Heather wanted us to "detox" from some of our recent bad food and drink behaviors, and thus, we are juicing, protein shaking, and clean eating for 7 days, I DID take my measurements this morning.  The last time I measured was January 1st.  I am up about 2" on most body parts.  I am in my size 12's, but I would really like to be in my size 10's.  I'm not really feeling dejected by any of this news.  It's just where I am now and I am here because I eat relatively liberally (um...if I want it, I eat it), and I have been drinking like Madmax and Charlize Theron after they find water in the desert...but I am not talking about water! mmmmmkay?

So our plan for the week is a protein shake for breakfast (I blend frozen fruit in mine), I will eat a healthy meal (something I have made) for lunch, and juicing for dinner...or some combination of those things.  We can snack on clean items only..preferably non-packaged items like fresh fruits and veggies, but can also do nuts and things with less than 5 ingredients listed (and we have to know and be able to pronounce those five ingredients).  Oh...and at least 100 ounces of water.  Oh...and no beer expect on the weekend we can have 6 drinks.  Bahah...Heather came up with that number, and that's for both Saturday and Sunday.  So we can split and do say...3 on Saturday and 3 on Sunday....or just drink all 6 on Saturday (you get the idea).

In other news, we celebrated Heather's birthday week by catching a baseball game....

 Losing our kickball game...but Heather gained this ironic tshirt that I bought it wasn't really a loss.
 Cuddling on the couch with Bear.  He is so very very special.
 And then we headed to my parent's boat in Scottsboro, Al for the weekend.  We invited our friends Bethany (PowPow) and Todd (Toddrick) along.
 Heather motivated us all to take the little boat to land Saturday morning for separate workouts, and she was the first one in the water after we got back to the big boat.
Saturday was a beautiful day on the river.  My niece and her friend Jesse came down from Nashville to hang out with us.  I started drinking somewhere around 10ish and managed to go through at least 3 cycles of drunk before retiring to bed at 9pmish.  I know.  I am impressive.
 And finally...I leave you with this.
This was last year and I can't remember if I shared this at the time...but Heather and I were at a pool party and we decided to work on the dirty dancing lift, so as to impressive all of our friends at the pool.  Well, it wasn't really working in the water (basically I blame Heather because she is no Jennifer Grey and can't hold form for even a damn second), so we decided it would be a better idea for her to run, jump off the side of the pool, and I would catch her.  

Uh...none of our "friends" tried to stop us.

So she came flying full force at my head, her body hit my hands, my arms collapsed and she basically pile drove (I know that's not technically a word), my head into my body cavity.  Disaster.  Life lessons happen all the time.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Things You May (or may not) Like to Know

1.  At least 2 times a day I utter the words:  "I'm starving and I am pretty sure I am dying".  I text people.  I tell coworkers.  I just say it outloud in the bathroom.  And I KNOW I am not supposed to say "I am starving", because most of us are actually NEVER starving and there ARE people who are starving and it's a bit dramatic.  But I say it.  And I don't think I will be stopping anytime soon.

2.  I am the gassiest in the mornings.  Sometimes when Heather and I are on the cardio machines at the gym and my preworkout has kicked in (which means I need to use the bathroom for poopie time) but I don't want to get off the ARC until my time is up...I let a little stinker slip.  And then I keep looking forward, waiting for Heather to turn and look at me in disgust. 

Which she does.

And I just shrug and giggle.

3.  I hate it when Heather rubs her socked feet on my legs.  And I know you aren't supposed to say HATE, but I am not joking.  Something immediately happens in my body and I want to throat punch her.  So far.  I have not.  She has been warned though.  But she often does not heed my warnings and thinks it is fun to then, like a child, repeatedly try to rub her socked foot on me. 

4.  I don't eat raw vegetables.  Never have.  Don't really see it happening anytime soon.  I do like steamed veggies...but I steam them until near mush.  Now you know.

5.  I like to say I'm half-gay because it sounds more clever than bi-sexual.  Really I am just an equal opportunity lover.  Although in "real life" (i.e. not taking into account movies, sports figures, or people I stalk follow on Instagram) Heather is the only female I have ever fallen head over heels for. Except that one time when I was a camp counselor.  But my love was unrequited.  So it doesn't count.  People like to ask "So would you go back to men"...well I don't intend to "go back" anywhere, but for me, I fall in love with a person.  Not their parts.  But...if they are hot...well that DOES help.

6.  Speaking of gay things, a coworker asked me yesterday why I wasn't "butch", prefaced with "you don't look like a lesbian.  She wasn't being hateful.  She has just lived, I am going to assume, a sheltered life over the course of her 50 plus years hear on Earth.  I immediately said to her "well, why don't you have long hair and wear lipstick"...and she said "I don't like it"...well there you go.  I was going to go on a tangent about the Kinsey Scale (if you've never seen the movie Kinsey, it's not bad) and about how we are all on a scale that ranges from "totally gay" to "totally straight" (probably not the official terms)...and then I would have highlighted some points from number five (see number 5 above if you have forgotten), but we were interrupted.

7.  ANOTHER thing someone said to me today was "it just drives me crazy all these big girls on the beach wearing bikinis"...and this wasn't from a skinny girl.  I quickly said," Oh, I wore bikinis at 300 pounds.  I wasn't going to let someone's judgment stop me".  Let's take a look at me here in my one piece...
Oh the joys of timehop.  Now granted, I was probably around 280ish here...but I promise you I thought I was a sex kitten.  Meow.

8.  About a month ago now I took an afternoon off at work and went to the beach and met me sister from another mister there...

It was lovely.  We've decided we would like to be ladies who lunch...but are partnered with fine lovers with small bank accounts instead of ugly lovers with fat wallets.  FINE.  FINE.  So work we must.  But it was still a wonderful day.  I may or may not have consumed an excessive amount of Wild Blues (my favorite beer, 8% alcohol, and by excessive I mean 5) in about 3 hours and may or may not have swore of drinking for the rest of my life (I came to my senses about that silly idea after I started feeling better).

9.  I finished reading this book yesterday.

Sigh.  Don't do it.  Let me sum it up for you.  We have bacteria in our intestines that studies are being to show may be linked to everything from anxiety to obesity.  But, because they are still in the early stages of research, pretty much everything "may or may not be true"...but just to make sure, eat lots of veggies, eat lots of fiber, eat less meat, and find a good probiotic.

Well duh.

Damn it.

Came across this little diddy yesterday.  This was post-op I believe, but at least 7 years ago.  I don't know why I am petting a rooster.  Oh...I DO know why...but I am a lady so I will let you put the pieces together.

11.  I have decided I need to quit my job and become a selfie adviser. ON THE DAILY, usually right after uttering "I am starving and may be dying", I come across a friends picture on facebook that they have decided to make their profile picture.  And it's not just ONE person.  And this phenomenon knows no race, gender, age, or sexual orientation...but sometimes people on my Facebook take the WORST pictures of themselves, like an upshot that emphasis their chins, or a shot with a flash that makes their make-up look all Memoirs of a Geisha, which would be fine if they were actually dressing up as a geisha, but it just happens to be a Friday night on the way to the club....but I want to advise people...either in person while the selfie is actually happening, or maybe I will create an app that for .99cents a month, before your selfie posts, it comes to me for approval.  Of course, by putting this GENIUS idea out on the world wide web, clearly run the risk of this idea being snatched from me, much like the idea of the She-wee.

12.  Happy Tuesday friends.