Thursday, April 30, 2009

Are You Ready For A Slow Down?

I found this on LBT today, on the home page...written by one of the doctors. I thought it was interesting. I have always heard if you drop below 900 calories a day then you body will hoard your calories and fat....just wanted to share!

What is the minimum number of calories you should consume to avoid metabolic slowdown? How can you combat a slow metabolism?

The medical field is pretty sure now that when caloric intake drops down to around 1100-1200 calories per day, human metabolism will slow down. This is a natural, evolutionary response. Think back to the Caveman again. When humans had to scavenge for food that was not always readily available, our bodies became very efficient at storing energy in the form of fat to tide us through times when we might not be able to eat much for a few days. When food became scarce, our metabolism would slow down in order to conserve energy, at least until food became plentiful again.

Typically your body will go into this energy-conserving mode if you drop your caloric intake to around 1100-1200 calories per day. Since a well-adjusted Lap-Band should take you down to around this amount, your body will want to go into hibernation mode. Your job is to keep this from happening. How do you do this, you ask? With two simple steps:·Make sure you are getting the best nutrition you can. This means eating real food, avoiding empty calories, preparing fresh meals, and buying organic foods whenever possible. This will give your body all of the micronutrients and building blocks it needs to perform its normal daily chemical reactions that keep us feeling good.·

Exercise. This will keep your metabolism going by releasing natural hormones that control our “fight or flight” response. Ever heard of a “runner’s high?” Sometimes getting started with an exercise routine is tough, but think back about how great you felt after a work out—not just the feeling of accomplishing something, but how energized and alert you were. That’s a natural response. It had very little to do with your expensive gym equipment, your personal trainer with rock hard abs, or your perfectly set iPod tunes. It had everything to do with what a wonderful machine the human body is.

Joke of the Day

Did you hear about the guy who did it with a parakeet?

He got Chirpes.


And the worst part? It was un-tweetable!

Sizing Things Up

I think I started my journey at a size 28. Its hard to tell because of Lane Bryant and their trickery with the size changes...but I know I was a 26/28 in most things. I have been saving one Rubbermaid container of clothes that range from 18-22. This includes 2 pairs of 22 slacks I have hanging in my closet. One with tags still on them. I went to put them on last weekend because I was going to take a picture of how they didnt zip up, and then take another picture when they finally do zip. Well guess what...they fit! That was a pleasant suprise.

Then in my shopping quest for something to wear to Thunderbeach, I tried on some 22 shorts at Lane Bryant. They fit!

Some things in Old Navy are actually starting to fit (tops).

It's a good feeling. I havent been a size 20 in about 7 years. And I was only there very briefly. So once I get to a size 18...I wont even know what to do with myself.

What are some other NSV's I would like to see.

These two lovely rolls on my back (one on either side)...they can go.
I would like my fingers to start losing some of their girth.
I still want to be able to see what I am doing when I am shaving my bikini area. Currently I am like Edward Scissorhands down there...just hacking away hoping to get everything. And then I will discover at the beach or somewhere a huge patch I have missed. I am getting closer to this as my stomach gets smaller.
Someday I want to be able to see my clavicle.
Why arent my underwear getting baggy? I think of Sara and her post about saggy panties almost everytime I get dressed. Almost 60 pounds down and still wear the same drawers!

Leader of the Pack

This weekend is Thunderbeach in Panama City, FL. Its a big bike rally held twice a year. I dont know if I have ever mentioned Tracey has a bike. I like riding on the back of about 30 mph. Anything over that is a tad scary. I am a "toodler". I think it has to do with:
a) Tracey is little and I am big and that's a lot of weight to deal with.
b) I am not in control of the driving.
Anyways, we aren't riding the back down there because it is about 2 hours away. So I have been trying to find something to wear. It will be about 82 degrees and sunny. It will be outside. And there will be a lot of people. Usually I wouldn't care too much, but Tracey's friends will be there and I want to be "hot girlfriend" for him. He always thinks I am hot...but I want to feel hot. In my mind I pictured a cute sundress, simple, maybe cotton. Maybe spaghetti straps. Sort of a maxi dress but knee length. This apparently doesnt exist in plus sizes. I came close at Target, but even the short dresses were too long for me. Lane Bryant was a bust bc lately everything they put out for casual wear is very old lady. Old Navy Plus is only online...and I didnt think ahead far enough to order something. I did go into Old Navy though and for shits and giggles tried on some size 20/XXL dresses. They totally fit throughout the body part(!!!) but not the boobie part. Not enough fabric for Christina and Britney (thats what I call the girls sometimes).
Oddly enough I havent lost any weight in my boobs yet. Strange, bc with weight loss in the past I have.
SO, I have decided to wear a white tank top and dark blue jeans. If it is too hot, I will wear black city shorts instead with some wedges. I dont really like the shorts though. I already own all of this so I think I will go find some rockin' accessories. I am thinking of a big long necklace, etc. I will keep you posted on that.
P.S. The bike fest isnt really anything I would do B.T. (before Tracey). Not really my thing. But he loves it and I love him (awwwww). So we will go. We went last year. It just involves a lot of bars and by the afternoon...a lot of drunk people :( We are going to try and not do that scene as much as last year...and visit more of the vendors etc.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I want these shorts

So, these are my goal shorts for working out. Sorry the picture is so tiny. They are Nike shorts. And I want this style. But...I fear that when I am finally that crotch will try to eat them.
Do you guys know what I am talking about? When your crotch eats your shorts? It's like the rubbing of your thighs causes the fabric to rise up into your most precious bits. Sometimes you see it in fluffier girls from behind. I dread it. This is why I wear capris to work out. But perhaps someday I will fit into these little guys!

Phenomenal Woman

In response to SlimCola's post on being beautiful...I was reminded of this poem by Maya Angelou. I have always loved it...and believe it to be true. And I just wanted to share it with all of my beautiful bloggers.

by Maya Angelou

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say, It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say, It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing of my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say, It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Monday, April 27, 2009

I'm Choosing My Attitude!

Okay so Monday is "official" weigh in day for me. That's when I record it on paper. I lost .5 pounds this week. ARGH. I stepped on the scale. Off the scale. On the scale. Off the scale.
I then kicked the scale. I was like the John McEnroe of the scales. So...I stomped my foot and to the shower.

Standing in the shower, letting the water rinse the scale shame off me I decided I would choose my attitude today.
So I didnt lose. I will look at this as a learning opportunity. No more pringles here and there...not more gobs of cheese on my chicken. I will drink more water and walk more this week. It's Monday :( but I will turn that frown upside down :)
Hope everyone has a wonderful week!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

My Reverse Body Dysmorphic Disorder Rears it Head

I have shared before how in my mind...I am pretty hot. People who suffer from Body Dysmporphic Disorder are usually thin and see themselves as fat (among other things). I am fat and usually see myself as thin :). Or not as fat as a truly am.

For example, today I was standing on the beach looking out at the water. I felt like a super model. To others on the beach...I probably looked fat. But I didnt feel it. THEN I came home and downloaded the pictures and I couldnt find my skinny self in any of them! I think it's because the camera adds 10-100 pounds.

Whatever. I told you guys I would have pictures so here they come. When we first got to the beach there was hardly anyone there! Here is tiny Tracey on the big ol' beach.
I was rocking my new cowgirl hat from Target, and my new swimsuit from Sears.
One thing I always do...and my friends have always made fun of me point my toes when I am in my swimsuit. I dont know if its from years of dance, or that I love the arch of my feet...but seriously...whether I was teaching swim lessons and standing on the side of the pool, or weather I my feet are of my feet is in a "point" position. gotta make your legs longer anyway you can! So, all of that explains the next picture. But when I feel like I don't look as good in these pictures as I do in my head, I pull out the ol' trusty before shot that I took the night before surgery.

And I feel a little better!

Friday, April 24, 2009

We have a new bandster!

Hey everyone! I am not sure if you read Tiffani's blog or not, but she just got banded on Wed and is in the horrible "is it a fart or poop?" phase, the "I cant take liquids much longer" phase, and the "Protein shakes are the devil" phase.

So for those of you who havent read her blog yet...and you are just toodling on blogger right now...go tell her Congrats!

And then we can all sing kumbaya and hold hands....

and sing....


Sunshine and Puppy Dogs

It is supposed to be a beautiful weekend here in Pensacola. Last year Tracey and I started hitting the beach in February....early February. But I kid you not, every weekend for the last several months has been touch-n-go weather with rain, some peek-a-boo sun, cold fronts, etc. So at is supposed to be sunny and warm!

I will have to swim by myself. Tracey, like most Floridians, believe that the water must be 80+ degrees before they can get in it. I, like most native-Kansans, think anything above 67 is tolerable. I just hope those damn jellyfish arent invading the beach...they suck. Actually they sting. hahahahah....

But we take lots of pictures at the beach, so that should be fun. I dont have any pictures of me in my new I see lots of modeling shoots in the forecast.

Then we are going to grab a hamburger at SurfBurger! The yummiest local hamburger joint on the beach. I will have to do it without a bun of course...and not get too excited that I shovel the meat down my hatch.

So Happy Friday everyone! Hope everyone has a fabulous weekend. And even if you don' about it anyways!

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Well well...I didnt know I was dropping a B-bomb on everyone. I just thought we all had to take it. Even the gastric RnY patients I know who have different docs have to take it, although they get the shot.

I knew it plays a role in being tired and weak, but I did some quick research and here are some symptoms of a B-12 deficiency:

feeling weak or tired

pale appearance to the lining of lower eyelids

palpitations, fast or irregular heartbeat

faintness & breathlessness

hair loss (WHAT!!! If I had known this I would have been taking them for sure)

bruising without reason


long or unusual menstrual periods

These are my easiest pills to take bc they dissolve under my tongue and taste just fine! Sorta grapey.

Flintstones....Meet the Flintstones

So I was just wondering if everyone has been taking their vitamins. I have not been taking them...well...pretty much at all. This week I am trying to start taking my calcium chews twice a day, and my two Flintstones chewables.

I hate the chewables and would rather swallow them...but doc says must chew. Do you guys chew or swallow? (LOL...sounds bad).

Also, I havent been taking my B-12 sublinguals. Do you guys do the sublinguals or get the shot?

I am going to try to take all of these on a regular basis for the next 2 weeks, so when I go in for my fill...if I am still exhausted during the least we can rule out lack of nutrition.

AND, since my hair has been falling out...I thought maybe these might help. I dunno.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

You know you are a banster when...

So Catherine blogged yesterday (I think) about a thread on LBT called you know you are a bandster when....
This morning on the toliet I thought of another one.
You know you are a bandster when...
Everytime you poop, you calculate in your head the potential weight loss.

One thing about blogger....

Do you know what we be nice? If blogger updated me when someone responded to a post I posted on their blog.

For example.

If I post on Angie's Blog.

And then Angie responds to me on her blog.

I have no way of knowing unless I go check that specific entry on Angie's blog.

Which...I have started doing.

But I would like blogger to do it for me.

Who should I call? Oprah? Obama? Octomom? Someone has GOT to have some influence.

Toodling on LBT can be scary!

So, I was looking at one the posts on LBT with before-and-afters and I found this girls blog. She was looking good these days (It had been about 18 months since she was banded I think), but...after reading some more I found out that she had to have a complete unfill about a month ago bc when she went in for a fill, they put her under Fluro for the first time and saw that her pouch was very irritated. They asked her if she had been throwing up. She said no, but turns out that throwing up for her was a daily thing, and happened 3-4 times a day. I dont know why she never went back to her doctor to loosen up.
I would guess bc she was losing weight and loss sight of that fact she could be screwing her band up big time.
So, they gave her a complete unfill. In a month she has gained 25 pounds.
As I read her older posts, other things were alarming. She still drinks diet pop (soda). She throws up bc she eats too much and too fast, but doesnt change that behavior.
I know we all have issues with food. I just find it alarming when people totally ignore the rules and risk pissing off this little tool!
So, I will learn from that blog and make sure I am listening to my body and Tina.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Don't you love it when you check your Blog dashboard and check your blog updates sections to see who has updated their blogs and everyone has been blogging? I love it.
So, thanks to everyone who is blogging. You help get me through my day. People ask me if I know anyone who has had lapband, and I say "not in real life", but I have you imaginary friends.

Did anyone see that episode of Grey's Anatomy a couple of weeks ago that had the guy who was going to get a face transplant? He had lost half of his face years before, and pretty much hid from the world. He did belong to some online forum though for people who grew orchids, and part of the requirement of the surgery is that you had a group of people who you could depend on for support and who would take care of you. Well, none of his "friends" from the orchid site had ever seen him, but they flew from around the world to be there at the hospital for him. Reminded me of some of you I have "met" on here.

I don't know what I would do if I didnt have a place to share and to listen to other's share their journey. There is only so much my wonderful boyfriend can listen to and help with! Sometimes it's just nice to know someone else is going through what I am!

So keep blogging.

And...once you reach your goal...dont stop blogging. Dont you hate it when you find someone on LBT and click on their blog and it hasnt been updated in like 2 years?

I must totally be premenstrual bc I am getting sappy. I will know for sure if I start crying at random commercials about cleaning solutions, coffee, or tampons.

It happens. Seriously.

Happy Tuesday
It seems like I had surgery forever ago. It will be three months on the 27th. I lost 5 pounds last week. I have decided my official weigh-in is on Mondays. Do you know that I have a weight loss journal that I have been recording my weight in since 1999! That's 10 years. Of course it was not every week, some years and months I was more on it. I dont think I recorded anything in 2008. Maybe thats one of the reasons I gained so much weight. It is an interesting thing to have though, to see where I was 5 years ago....4 years ago...etc. It's hard to believe at one time I was 209. By the time I had surgery I was 327.

I'm hungry right now. I tried to eat rice krispies this morning for breakfast. For some reason, cereal does not go down well. You would think since its basically puffed air and a liquid, it wouldn't be a problem. Anyways, I only ate half of a little baby know the kind you get in a variety pack or take camping? Anyways...I am trying to hold off until lunch. I brought some of my black bean soup and blue organic chips. YUMMY. Which by the way I tried to put in a wrap last night and I had to throw up twice. Strange.

GUESS WHAT! I bought some MorningStar corn dogs the other day. They are little mini, vegetarian corn dogs. I tried them last night...they taste just like corndogs! I dont know how they do it...but pretty cool. I have been searching high and low for the veggie baby back ribs (boneless) that someone blogged about months ago, but I can't find them. I think I will try veggie burgers next.

Can you tell the only thing on my mind is food?

ANYWAYS, back to my original thought about losing 5 pounds last week. I lost them Monday-Friday and didnt lose anything over the weekend and I was actually grumpy when I weighed in Monday! Knock Knock puddin' head! Okay I didnt lose anything over the weekend but I should be so happy I lost 5 during the week. Can't we be so crazy sometimes!

Monday, April 20, 2009


"Hello, my name is Amy...and I have problems"

you guys "Hi Amy".

We teach a lot of classes where I work. We have a goody cabinet of snacks we put out for these classes. It has some tasty stuff in it, but usually nothing really horrible. However, for my hell class I had to teach on Saturday, we bought Otis Spunkmeyer muffins. You know those big muffins that once you eat them you feel ill? Well, I went back to the cabinet to get a 100 calorie pack snack. It's 2:00pm and I had a banana for breakfast and half a yogurt for lunch (I didnt like the taste)...

There was the muffin. Staring at me. I held it in my hand. Yes. No. Yes. No. I ripped the package open and took a bite.

Now here is where we take a turn for Sad Girl Village. I snuck my muffin into the bathroom, locked the bathroom stall, and started eating it! About halfway through my Shame band started to work. It wasnt stuck. But it was uncomfortable. I stared at my half eaten muffin. won Muffin Man. I wrapped the uneaten portion in a paper towel and threw it away.

Shame Shame Shame on Me.

Monday's Reminder

Do you know what people notice more than our cellulite or lumpy stomach?

They notice how you carry yourself and how much you believe in yourself. How tall you stand (not talking height), how high you hold your head, and your smile. If you can be fabulous, sometimes the size of our hips, the sag of our breasts, or the wiggle of our chin will start to fade away.



Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Times They Are a Changing

I wanted to post today about things that have changed for the better since lapband. Sometimes I get so fixated on weight and the scale, I overlook some of the good.

So here ya go:

1. I used to stop for fast food breakfast every morning. This used to consist of usually McDonalds where I would get a Cinnamelt and breakfast burrito with a medium coke. Or sonic and I would get a toaster and a large coke. I have not had fast food breakfast since surgery.

2. I used to eat out every day for lunch. I would get a value meal of some kind and then while driving my food back to the office, I would eat a couple other things off of the $ menu...that way no one at work really knew how much I was eating.

3. Sometimes on my way home from work I would stop and get fast food and eat it before I got home so Tracey wouldnt know...and then eat a full supper with him.

4. I used to drink 3-6 sunkists a day.

5. I wouldnt walk 2 blocks because it hurt so bad (my back), and would be too embarrassed to tell anyone.

6. I would pee 4-5 times a night, usually bc of the large amount of pop I had drank.

7. I hated to put my pants on bc they were so tight and gave me a muffin top.

8. I do a great job at drinking my water. I usually drink 4-6 bottles of water a day.

That's all I can think of for now, but it is a start. What items have you guys changed without really realizing it?

I still need to work on grazing. I have a few chips here, a piece of cheese there, a few more chips. Sometimes if I am really naughty I have a couple of crackers with ranch dressing on them. I also eat FiberOne Bars sometimes bc they taste like candy bars. However, they have 140 calories and make me fart. I still need to eat more veggies.

Tonight Tracey and I went in the hottub. I wanted to share this picture with you guys! I thought since others were posting full length shots on their blogs (even though I always do), I will see your full body shot and raise you a full body shot in a bikini! I WIN I WIN! Don't despair though. This is my "private" swimsuit...meaning I just wear this at home for sun and bathing! You can see my scars are healing nicely-almost 3 months out.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Good Saturday afternoon everyone! I had to work today (sad face) and teach a class called CPI to some of our contract workers who work for our mental health facility. It is a class on how to verbally de-escalate a situation and then how to handle if it becomes violent. ANYWHOOO, the people in the class were horrid, rude, was painful and I am thankful I am home.

I made a yummy soup today for dinner. I got the recipe for SouthernLiving. If you like black beans this is for you...if you don't like black beans (close your eyes). You will see the recipe calls for it to be creamy, and that's what the picture shows. However, I didnt blend it and just ate it in the pre-puree state. Its so good! I think I will add chicken to it next time I make it. Yum Yum.

Prep 10 min., Cook: 15 min., Cool: 5 min. Spread warmed leftover soup over crispy tostadas and layer with chopped rotisserie chicken, shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes, and avocado for a quick supper or snack. For a thinner soup, use only 2 cans of black beans.

1 cup medium onion, diced
1 garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon olive oil
3 cups chicken broth
3 (15-oz.) cans BUSH'S Black Beans, rinsed and drained
1 (14.5-oz.) can diced tomatoes with zesty mild green chiles, undrained (this is rotel)
1/2 teaspoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoons ground cumin (I didnt add this)
1 tablespoon chopped fresh cilantro (I didnt add this)
1 tablespoon lime juice
Toppings: sour cream, shredded Cheddar cheese, diced tomatoes, chopped fresh cilantro, lime wedges, tortilla chips

1. Sauté onion and garlic in hot oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat 4 to 6 minutes or until tender.
2. Stir in broth and next 4 ingredients, stirring to loosen particles from bottom of Dutch oven; cover and bring to a boil. Uncover, reduce heat to medium-low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, 8 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in cilantro and lime juice. Let cool 5 minutes.
3. Process soup, in batches, in a blender or food processor 30 seconds or until smooth. Return to Dutch oven, and stir until blended. Serve with desired toppings.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Tips From a Rag

So, can a proper magazine be referred to as a rag? Dunno, but it worked for an interesting Blog title. I am reading this months Women's Health, which I have recently discovered to be pretty interesting. I stumbled across this article "How to Resist Temptation", and some of the tips are familiar reminders, but some of them are a little novel.

Move No.1: Eat smaller, more frequent meals. We have all heard this, but here is what the study from Florida State University found-- Going too long without eating makes your blood sugar plummet and that leaves you with a raging appetite...thus making you more likely to binge later in the day. It also goes on to show how a blood sugar is directly tied to willpower.

Move No.2: Eat With Your Other Hand. Pretty self-explanatory. I thought this would make a good bandster tip. If you find yourself eating too fast, try this. It's probably also good for your brain!

Move No.3. (This is especially good news for those of us who think we weigh ourselves too much) Weigh Yourself Regularly. A study of over 1800 people who successfully shed pound found that 40% weighed themselves daily or weekly. it comes...Those that stepped on the scale more frequently, lost the most. 12 pounds on average more for daily weighers compared to 6 pounds for weekly weighers. People who shunned the scale gained an average of 5 pounds. Hmmm...

So that's about it for today. Tracey got me to walk last night and I boogied it down the trail. Felt pretty good afterwards, still hated it during :)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tina and the "leafs" in my way!

I saw this on one of the blogs of note, so I stole it. BUT, seeing how she stole it from, I feel okay about it. It made me chuckle bc I can totally relate. It seems that after my 5k, and Tracey's knee injury, we haven't been walking as much. Thankfully this morning Tracey implied that we should walk tonight...because if he hadnt I would park myself in front of the tv. So, tonight we shall resume torture. I just dont like walking. I dont think I ever will. Its boring and I am thinking about quitting from the moment I start.

This weekend in Alabama, we did walk to an outdoor amphitheater and run the steps. Stairway to Hell would be a perfect title, but that would imply we only ran DOWN stairs, and we totally ran up them. Seriously, the first flight I was like..okay, okay, I can do this, oh no, oh no, my legs are giving out. I was sore for 4 days afterwards. But we are doing another 5k on May 9th, and I would like to improve on my I better get practicing.

On another note...I threw up last night. I had made a chicken breast coated in breadcrumbs, baked in the oven, topped with ham, cheese, and tomato (think chicken cordon bleu). It was so good. About 3/4 of the way through Tina told me to stop (remember Tina is what I named my band). I told Tina to "SHUT UP biatch! I must finish eating the chicken. I can't waist it". She hushed for awhile and waited until I finished the rest of my chicken to have the last word. I had been through eating for about 5 minutes...and it wasnt a was a full on throw up. Fabulous yes? Thank God it happened during a commercial of America's Next Top Model.

Lesson learned.

*PS, I was spell checking and did anyone else notice that when I was talking about "wasting" food, I said WAISTING instead? Hmmm...the size of my waist on my mind much?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Two Yummy Things I Enjoy stated in my Monday blog...I am sticking to liquids and light food for a couple of days to cleanse my body of Easter junk. I bought this soup last night. It is Select Harvest Mexican Style Chicken Tortilla. It is actually pretty tasty. And if you add a little cheese for protein and a smidge of sour cream....YUMMY!

Also, for those of you who can eat chicken, this is a wonderful marinade. I let my chicken breasts marinate overnight and then Tracey grills them. I serve with black beans or mexi-corn. Tonight I think I am going to cut the chicken up once they are grilled, mix it with the beans and corn, put it on a whole wheat burrito shell, throw some salsa in and brown them on my skillet. Can you tell food is on my mind?

I Want To Take Naked Pictures

I think the female form is beautiful...and I have always longed to be the first plus sized girl in Playboy (after they airbrush out the stretch marks and I get a boobie lift). But, I am not really talking about men's magazine pictures...I am talking about "arty" black and whites, soft lenses with Barbara Walter's lighting (I heard once they rub Vaseline on the camera lens for her interviews bc it softens her). Perhaps I will drape a blanket across my butt and look over my shoulder as I lay on a chaise lounge in the woods? Do an underwater birthday suit spread? I dont think Tracey would big such a big fan. Unless he was the photographer or the photographer was some hot chick. dream may never come to fruition. I just wanted to share with everyone.

Also, thanks to everyone who has left a post that my blogs make them smile or laugh. Do you know how they say that if you lose one of your senses (like your eyesight or hearing), that your other senses become uber-developed? Like if you are blind you can hear really really well. That's how I think of my sense of humor...I lost my sense of skinny (when I was about 5), so my sense of humor is uber-developed! LOL.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Death To The Easter Bunny

George Dickell Whisky Distillery in Tennessee

I can't blame it all on da Bunny, but Easter seems to have been a trying time for some of us bandsters...and I like to mis-place blame (especially when I am the one to blame) damn the Easter Bunny.

Right before the 5k I had that horrible experience with the popcorn chicken (so, a week ago Friday). When I weighed on Saturday, I was at 277. I think this was dehydration and throwing up...but I took it baby! Anyways, come that Monday I was at 279. After this weekend, I am at 280.5! ARGH!

This is frustrating because I felt like I was eating very sensible meals while in Alabama. Small, slow, etc. BUT, if I am being honest...the car ride lent itself to gas station snacks (sunflower seeds, a couple of cheetos, pringles, animal crackers, and even a sip or 5 of Sunkist-GASP). Shitballs. BUT I ate just a little...grazing...I KNOW!

So, today I am sticking to liquids and other light things. I had yogurt for lunch, some cheese cubes for breakfast, probably soup for dinner. I know that with the band we arent supposed to have to "diet"...but I need the scale to move down...not up! I also think my band is loosening up a little bit bc I ate small amounts of bread with several of my meals.

I have my who-who exam tomorrow. I have a cancer policy through work and if you get your sugarsnap exam once a year (aka a pap smear), they send you a $100 in the mail! Kinda like prostitution if you think about it. I am doing it for the money people. If only I could use the "I am a struggling college student" excuse :-)

Here are some pictures from the weekend.

Sexy hats we had to wear at the Distillery

Group Shot: Tracey, moi', mom, dad, brother, Rachel (brothers girlfriend)

Rachel and me posing with the Beaver*

*we went to The Beaver Bar in Nashville, which was supposed to be like Coyote Ugly's. Negatory ghostrider! I thought some hot bar dancing waitresses would be a good inspiration for me...the only waitress there was skinny and had no curves, no lovely lady humps or lumps, she had the body of a 12 year old boy. Disappointing!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Rollin...Rollin...Rollin Down the River

Have I ever mentioned my parents live on a boat? About 7 years ago, they retired, sold my childhood home out from underneath me, and left me in Kansas to finish college. We have always been boaters, and it has always been there dream to live on a boat, on the river. So, they bought a houseboat. A Beaut' of a boat. It was called Living Our Dream. Then, last year my dad decided he wanted to travel on the boat, come down here to the Gulf, go to southern Florida for a few they sold that boat and bought a cruiser named River Gypsy. They have completed their trip and our now back up in Scottsboro...which is in the Northern most corner of Alabama.

This is about a 6 hour drive for us. They were coming down here to Pensacola for the weekend, but the weather looks iffy (they were bringing their smaller ski boat), so we are going there instead!

LONG STORY short...I may not be able to blog until we return...but I promise to take lots of pics and do something embarrassing so I have a good story to tell when I get back. We are going to go to Nashville Friday night to hang with my brother. For those of you who have read my first introduction blog, you will know I have a long history with my bro-man, but things are good now.

In fact, if any of you ever watch Discovery Health Channel on cable, like in the really high channels, you may have seen my brother. He was thin his whole life and made my life a living hell. He moved to LA when he was about 17 (he is 8 years my senior) and got fat. It was wonderful karmic retribution.

He was fat for all of 4 seconds.

He was accepted for this reality show called Discovery Health Body Challenge. It was really the beginning of the weight loss shows, pre-Biggest Loser. He got a personal trainer, a nutritionist, etc. Anyways, he lost the weight and won the damn show. And thus...he was thin again. They came back to Kansas to film part of the show, and lucky for him I was working in New York at the time...I would have given that camera an ear full. The show was filmed in 2000, but they are re-running it now. Tracey and I stumbled on it the other day and laughed and laughed at my brother...he is so full of BS. Good times. (sorry I just rambled that whole paragraph).

I tried to find a picture of the boat, but I couldnt. So instead you will get a picture of my mother ON the boat from last summer. She would kill me if she knew I posted this. She is afraid that someone will steal her identity. Special. This picture of me and my mom with a giant sausage makes me laugh. Enjoy and have a great weekend!

What Is A Possible Neck Injury for 200 Alex?

Meg's story that she posted in response to my Cyber Kisses and Many Thanks reminds me of two things...


This one time at band camp. Kidding. But it reminds me of a couple years ago at work. For about 7 years I worked at a school for behavior disorder children (if they get kicked out of regular special ed (oxymoron) they came to us. Well, the kids were out of the classroom lining up for the bus and some of the staff were talking about SOMETHING...I dont remember, but all of a sudden I said "I can do a handstand".

Look, I COULD DO A HANDSTAND. It just turns out that the last time I had done one I must have been about 50 pounds lighter then at that particular moment. So, I go over to the corner of the room so I can use the wall to lean against once I get into the handstand. I propell myself forward, looking like Nadia Comenici or Mary Lou Retton in their glory hands hit the floor, my feet go elbows lock...IVE DONE IT...


The minute my feet go up and I am in what looks like a handstand in the arms give out. They crumble beneath me and I pile drive the floor. top it off, I dont fall over...I am stuck in the corner upside down...stubby legs flailing in the air like an upside down turtle.

It was actually pretty funny and my coworkers really enjoyed it. It was a lesson learned...Arm Strength cannot support my body weight.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

A Hair Raising Experience

This was my hair color before. I have been coloring my hair for about 2 years. I have a lot of gray's for a 29 year old! No matter what color I choose...light brown, ash brown, medium hair takes a redish tint. SO, I found this deal online for a local hairstylist and she is offering a cut and color for $35. Here is the end result.

She put highlights and low lights in and gave me a sideswept bang. I like it. The bangs annoy me sometimes and they dont fit in my ponytail. (As you can see from the 5k pics). It was funny though bc when she was doing my hair she asked me if I had weight loss surgery bc I has "weight loss surgery hair". Dry, damaged, and apparently thinning in some places. I didnt notice I was losing hair. Now I am paranoid. I am thinking about Rogain or Propeesha (I dont know how you spell that). Has anyone else noticed a difference in their hair? She told me not to worry that it would grow back even healthier. I think she was slightly nuts and hopped up on NO-Doze, but must wonder....

Monday, April 6, 2009

Many Thanks and Cyber Kisses

I just wanted to thank all of you for the pats on the back! It felt good to do the 5K because I never NEVER walked! I would avoid it at all costs. I am going to do at least one more before Florida becomes hotter than the center of the sun. I think we are going to do the Sunset Run on May 5th. The point is...if a 327 pound girl (which is what I was when I started) can do this, so can YOU! For real. Do you remember when I started? Any of you that have been following my blog for awhile know that I started off with one mile, and just added half a mile every week. That was it! I love all of your guys comments. Seriously. Hope everyones Monday went well. I went to Red Robin again with coworkers for lunch. Took one bite of someones fry...and then ate my soup. BIG MISTAKE! Had to go to the bathroom and up it came. I must be a slow learner!

LOL...the swing is still sitting on the porch...mocking me. Firewood anyone :)

Oh, PS. Do any of you experience the "My Head is Bigger Than My Partner Syndrome". Please see above picture for illustration. I always tell Tracey when we do pictures to make sure his head is in the foreground to balance everything out...sometimes he just doesnt listen!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

And There Goes My Pride

This morning I woke up early...still on my high from my 5k. I walked outside, sat on the porch swing, and began to wave to the neighbor man across the that very moment...midwave...both chains on the swing broke. I (and the swing) fell straight down) Plop. Here is the ending position.

Sorry about the night shot. It took me forever to go take a picture...I was putting the pieces of my ego back together.
So, I had to go wake my boyfriend up. Here's how that went.

Me: "Baby"?
Tracey: "Hmmmm"?
Me: "I broke the swing".
Tracey: "Was that the loud noise I heard"?
Me: "Yes"
Tracey: "Are you okay"?
Me: (starting to sniffle, tears beginning to escape). "Yes, but it's embarrassing".

Tracey has been trying to be nice. He told me he bought stainless steel chain which is weaker than regular chain. Whatever. I have lost 50 pounds and now the damn thing breaks? It was the universe making sure I didnt forget that I have a long ways to go.


Oh...and he is going to buy some new "stronger" chain...I dont think I will be setting in that thing. I dont know how the neighbor man didnt pee his pants. It was very America's Funniest Home Videos.

Popcorn Chicken is Satan's Confetti

After work on Friday I went shopping. I ended up at Sears. I was just going to run in for some workout pants. I didnt find workout pants. I found everything else. For several months, probably before Christmas actually, I have been in love with this black cocktail dress. The bust section (empire waist) is made up of large black sequins. The bottom half of the dress is chiffon. I will post a pic. Anyways, it was originally $90. And I dont have an occasion for a dressy dress. Well guess what. It was on clearance for $17 dollars! How could I walk away? They had one in 24. Too big. So I bought a 16! LOL! I am hopefully going on my first cruise for my 20-10 birthday (Sept. 8th)...and I will need a dressy dress for our formal night. I dont know if I can be in a size 16 by then, but maybe an 18...and the dress runs a little big.

I digress.

So, after shopping I went to Walmart for some groceries. Tracey wanted some chicken from the deli. I hadnt eaten since 11am and it was nearly 7pm. So, I figured I would get me some popcorn chicken. Seriously, they are the size of a penny. They come in this cup, with a little flip lid. I thought I would try few on my way to the checkout. Big MISTAKE! I ate 3. I knew I was in trouble. It just sat there. Then it started to hurt. I started to take deep breaths. The sweat started to bead on my forehead. Seriously, the lady in front of the couple in front of me had so much in her cart, that it took two carts to hold the groceries bagged...and they had to call for help.

I started to panic. Did I ditch my cart and go throw up in Walmart's bathroom? I ruled that out. I probably stood in line for 10 minutes. Breathing. Sweating. Cursing my stupidity in my head. I checked out and started walking towards the car. At this point I was looking for a place to throw up. Bushes? No, I could make it to my car. I threw the stuff in my trunk, grabbed an empty bag out of my trunk, opened my door, sat down behing my wheel and threw up in the bag. Horrible. I made it home, threw up in the yard. Threw up for a few hours off and on. After this was all said and done, I took a tiny sip of water...threw that up too! I was really nervous at this point. So, I decided if I woke up on Saturday morning and still couldnt swallow water, I would go to the ER. I woke up fine yesterday. Had yogurt for breakfast and then Tracey and I went out to eat for an early dinner. I had a cup of soup and some of Traceys hamburger meat. Everything appears to be fine!


On Your Mark...Get Set....GO

Hola and happy Sunday to everyone! My first 5k is under my belt. Here is the recap: I picked up our race packets Friday afternoon. I was feeling super badass. We woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday (5:30 am). I shaved, got my outfit on, loaded up the cooler, piled in the car. We got to the beach at about 7am, race was to start at 8.

Sorry I dont know how to center videos yet.
I started stretching. Here is a quick video of that. Tracey thought he was taking a picture not a video.
The sun was coming up...I was nervous. Currently, my fastest time that I had walked a 5k (practice) was 59 minutes. I really didnt want to be the last person, and I didnt want to drop dead on some beach road. We all lined up to start and noone shot a gun! I really wanted someone to shoot a gun or whatever it is at the beginning of the race (not at me, but in the air). I started off, pacing myself. No shin splints but my legs were talking to me. It was pretty good! Anyways, as I saw the finish line in sight, there were still a good amount of people behind me. There were lots of people taking pictures at the end, so I started dancing for them. I crossed the finish line with a time of....53 minutes! Weeeeeeee. I arrived alive! After the race they had a band, light food, etc. We hung out in the sun for about an hour until they announced the winners of the age divisions. We really just hung around bc my boss and her husband and our friend Loyd were going to get awards. So once they got to the walker awards I was not really listening. Then I heard them call my name! WHAT! That's right...I won 2nd place for my age division! I hadnt even thought of looking at the results.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

For anyone who has Facebook or Myspace, you are familiar with the little "quizzes" that circulate. This is the 25 Random Things About Me quiz. I think they can be fun and might give you some insight into A M Y. Dont be scared!

1. I've always wished that I was one of those girls who knew how to do her hair and makeup. I never have really learned. I think you are born with it...some gene that my mother never had either. The first memory I have of really sucking at the make-up/hair thing was probably 6th grade in Jenny Bratchers (Fitzgeralds) bathroom. Remember when you would take your Kaboodles with you everywhere with your make-up. She had the gift.

2. I miss several things about Kansas. Real thunderstorms, wheat fields, and lazy summer nights on Knoll Drive.

3. I used to pee my pants when I laughed really hard. I'm not ruling it out these days. I think the last time it happened was playing Catch Phrase with my mother on New Years Eve several years ago. She was partners with my dad and kept yelling inappropriate words. She had taken several shots of tequilla, was sweating, and wearing a gold lame' shirt. You had to be there.

4. I don't want children. Every once in awhile though I worry that I am missing out on something. Then, I take a nap or spend money selfishly on myself. And I am thankful.

5. I thought I would make good money out of college. You don't really realize until the last semester of your senior year that you might be screwed.

6. Whenever Oprah has fat people on her show who talk about how lonely they are, how no one likes them, etc., I want to go up to them and say HEY! EXCUSES! Fat people can have friends and a life too! Seriously, I wrote to Oprah once about this. I am still waiting for a response.

7. When I was 19 I tried out for the Real World. They didnt want me. Big Mistake...HUGE.

8. Ever since I was little, when I am alone in my kitchen, I pretend I am on my own cooking show. I talk, out loud, to the imaginary camera. My favorite "meal" to make on my show is a Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwhich. It's a very basic show.

9. I always got in trouble for talking to much in school. So I majored in Communication, and now teach classes on HOW to communicate. So take that!1

0. I worked at Point O Pines for 3 years and it changed my life.

11. Sometimes people request to be my friend on Facebook or Myspace and I have no idea who they are. Sometimes I went to school with them (according to their profiles), but still...nothing.

12. I love tv and movies. I don't appreciate when people who don't love tv and movies try to pretend they are better than other people. For example, have you met those people that say things like this: "Oh, I just don't know how you have time to go to the movies...I AM SO BUSY...I havent seen a movie since Titantic". Please.

13. One of the best gifts someone could give me is a really really old copy of the Gone With the Wind. It's my favorite book and would love to have a very early copy.

14. I don't believe in Heaven or Hell, but I believe in angels. Explain that to me.

15. I think the Dhali Lama and I are kindred spirits. I would like to meet him and learn from him.

16. I want to be a stay at home girlfriend. I wouldn't be bored. No matter people say.

17. I have the best parents in the world. I loved my childhood. I cry everytime we leave the boat after visiting. I cry when they leave Pensacola after they visit us.

18. One of my favorite memories from childhood is coming home late in the afternoon from a day of boating, being tired and sunburnt, jonesing for a cool shower, sitting in the back of the Bronco while my day backed the boat in the driveway, listening to the locust in the trees.

19. Our family eats more con queso than anyone else I know.

20. My brother and I never got a long when I was growing up. Eight years my senior, he never wanted a sister. When I was born, and they told him I was a girl, he screamed "Put her back in, put her back in". He tortured me as a child. It took us about 27 years but we love each other now and he is one of the funniest people I know.

21. I havent talked to my best friend Lisa very much over the last year and a half. She lives in Seattle. Somehow we let our "busy" lives get in the way. I think about her everyday.

22. I cried when none of the presidential nominees would say they believe in gay marriage. Makes me sad for my friends.

23. Catherine Gardner is 50! She is a Mormon. She is one of the best people I have ever known. She can never move away from me. Once when we were talking about if nurses could/should wear thongs, she said "I don't know how they could. They would trip on them and fall down all the time!" We all looked at her. She was talking about FLIP FLOPS. We had been talking about thong underwear! Special. Funny. Katie.

24. I sometimes wonder what the purpose of life is. This can be a very depressing thought, bc usually I have no answer.

25. I feel like I am not living my life to my full potential. I think I should be doing something else profession wise. Comedian? Interior Designer? Actress? My creativity is being stifled.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Beautiful Words

This is a wonderful "poem" that I stumbled across years ago. It was originally attributed to Maya Angelou, but it was really written by Pamela Redmond Satran. I think it is wondeful and wise and I want to share:

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a youth she’s content to leave behind….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to fall in love without losing herself.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship…


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that she can’t change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..whom she can trust,whom she can’t, and why she shouldn’t take it personally…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing…

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…and a year…

Bikinis, Marie Osmond, and Empathy

I am sitting here watching Oprah. Did you guys catch it today? I DVR it in case I am bored. Anyways, she had Valerie Bertinelli on (along with Marie Osmond and Star Jones). Its a weight loss show. Um...I am sorry...Valerie was only 50 pounds overweight. She was maybe a size 12/14. As was Marie Osmond. Now they are a size 2/4. I guess bc I am SO overweight, it is hard for me to empathize with someone how is only 165 pounds "at their heaviest". I mean kudos for losing the weight. But as a poster child for weight loss...I don't know. What do you guys think?
Then she had Star Jones on. I have never been a fan of Star. It really annoyed me when EVERYONE knew she had weight loss surgery, but she denied it. I understand that for some its a private decision. But she lives in the public eye and her weight loss was public. Keeping the secret about weight loss is like any other secret. What a tangled web...but I will save that for another post:)
Anyways, I found her explanation very honest. It was interesting and kind of endearing. The truth shall set you free! She said she didnt want to share her weight loss surgery bc she felt ashamed. Ashamed she couldnt conquer the weight, ashamed she had failed every diet, ashamed that she was an addict. She said she threatened her staff that if they ever suggested that she go public, she would fire them. Then one day...she wanted to tell the truth. She said it was hard hearing people say that she "took the easy way out". She said...this is not the easy way out...this has been the hardest struggle of my life.
Okay...enough about that! We are more than half way to Friday!