Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I met Tracey for a quick lunch today at the mall. And now I have another wonderful PB story to share with you...the world...or the 100 or so odd readers of this blog...oops, that sounded like I was saying YOU were odd...hahha...
For the non-banded, early banded, or the i-dont-even-know-what-a-band-is crowd, a PB is a productive burp that is usually a result of eating too quickly, too much, or just the wrong type of food. For me, a PB exhibits itself in one of four ways:
1. Foam from the nose
2. Foam from the mouth
3. From from BOTH the nose and mouth
4. Or the lodged chunk of food shooting out of my mouth.
A PB is not a full on throw up. I don't lose all of my food. Usually just the bite that caused the traffic jam, and the following bites that were sitting on top of that food. A PB is not self induced, no finger into the throat action. In fact, by the time I actually make it to the bathroom (in a perfect world) I usually just open my mouth and *Poof*, magic time.
I have PB'd in the car, in a restaurant, on a cruise ship somewhere in the Gulf, in a parking lot, in the yard, in a bag, in a tupperware container, on myself. (I feel like I could make a Dr. Zuess story book out of all that)
So today, I decided that I would eat a piece of pizza from the food court at the mall. It was a thick piece too...I dont even know what I was thinking. I made it about half way through. Then I get that glazed over expression that Tracey knows is a sign for "I am trying to pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth, but really I am thinking about not throwing up". Eventually I get up and start to walk to the bathroom, but for some reason it is busier in there then Macy's at Christmas time, so I made a quick dash for a door marked "Nursing Mother". Apparently it was a room for a mother to nurse in private. All I knew is that it was empty and had a lock and a sink. PB #1.
After that, we headed to the car. Feeling like my esophagus fireworks works were not finished, I asked Tracey to hand me an empty Wendy's sack from the backseat. He actually found two, and said "Let me double bag this for you, just in case." And he proceeded to even roll the sides down for me. Well, I fought back the building up of saliva in my throat until he got out of my car. I pulled away and PB#2 into the bag. This time it was accompanied by the Amy-esqe nose foam. Problem-o bc I had no napkins. Again. And could only try to control the nose foam with my hands. I pulled over and frantically searched for something I could use to wipe my nose, chin, hands, steering wheel...
NOTHING! CURSE YOU AMY WORKMAN FOR CLEANING YOUR CAR OUT!
I started to weigh the options to decide which article of clothing I could sacrifice for a napkin, but ruled them all out bc I am wearing a precious royal purple cardigan today. So I let it air dry on my hands. I managed to find a woo-woo wipe in my purse (the ones for keeping your lady parts fresh). I made it back to work. Since then, I have found dried up bits on my chin, shirt, and in my hair.
So what have I and hopefully you, learned from this little episode?
1. Don't attempt thick crust pizza this late in the restriction game.
2. Not only should there be "Nursing Mother" rooms at the mall, but "PBing Bandster" rooms.
3. I am going to develop and market a Lapband Car Kit that contains a roll of paper towels, gallon zip lock bags, moist wipes, and a bib.
So, I realized, with an impending sense of doom....that my next goal is set for Columbus Day, which is October 12th. I wanted to be at 100 pounds lost by then. Knock Knock puddin head...that is only 13 days from now! And 10 pounds from now. I am totally going to do it! Yep. I havent NOT met a goal yet, and I don't want to start.
To motivate myself, I have pulled out some more fatty pictures! This was presurg, probably in January? I need to check. Anyway, look at my face!
Compared to this face pic from Tracey's reunion.
Also, yesterday we had our Employee Forums. Once a quarter the Administration units here (about 150 people) get together for updates, etc. The theme for this forum was sports and I was chosen as one of the 4 cheerleaders that would be responsible for cheering, getting the crowd pumped, etc. I busted out my cartwheel skills. Yes I did. I like to throw something out there, like a big girl doing gymnastics...just to make people think! Mission accomplished!
My parents left this morning. Sad to see them go. Love them. Not sad to see the bad treats out of the house.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Seriously. My parents are staying with us and I have eaten snacks like I wasn't even trying to change my life! Oreos, keylime pie, cheetos, chocolate chip cookies, queso, etc. And so, the scale reflected that. Not really too upset about it...bc I knew it was coming. More upset that I let myself get off track, and these 5 pounds I just gained were the same ones I worked hard to lose from the cruise (oooh that rhymed).
But I begin again.
I can't decide if I need a little fill to help me since clearly I am failing at helping myself. Today I am thinking YES, bc that is what the band is for...to step up when we can't...but most of the time I think NO, I have to do my part.
Aw, what to do, what to do.
My computer at home is still broke, so I havent caught up on the blogs yet from the weekend! Yesterday we went to the beach and I spent most of my time in the water (normal), mermaiding around. I love this attractive picture of me snorkeling! haha...nice hair!
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
My thought on comparing our weight loss with other's weight loss is....
DON'T DO IT
It only feels good when you are "winning". The rest of the time, it makes you feel like a failure. There is no point in it really. It doesn't matter if someone was banded the same time as you or not. We are all built different, shaped different, have different genes, and different jean sizes. Our daily lives are different, our environment is different, our bands are different. And with all those differences, why would you expect to have the same results? For example, Mary, who was banded months after me, has now passed me in weight loss. Do you know why? For all the reasons I listed above AND because she works out more than me and probably doesn't sneak Sunkist into her desk drawer. So I don't beat myself up about it. Would you like someone else to beat you up? No. So why do it to yourself?
We chose the band for various reasons. Hopefully though, we all knew that the band was a slower weight loss, 1-2 pounds on average. But still we, (ME) get cranky when on AVERAGE, that is what we lose. It's like we look at the scale and say "Ah HELL NO BIATCH....ONE POUND!" Like we didnt know that is what is expected. We want Biggest Loser numbers! Well guess what!? We dont work out with the hot Gillian or Bob 8 hours a day on a magical ranch. We live real lives with kids, work, cheetos, parents. And we are succeeding. You know how we feel when one of the contestants are standing up there boohooing about "only" losing 6 pounds in a week? Do you ever think that maybe other, nonbanded folk, look at us the same way when we bitch about only losing 4, 6, or 8 pounds in a month? How quickly we have forgotten that we used to GAIN that in a month.
I started this journey in January at 327 pounds. When I hear people starting off at a weight like 233 (where I am now) or lower, and referring to themselves as FAT COWS, or saying "I can't believe I weigh 233...do I get my feelings hurt? No, bc I am smart enough to realize that weight is relative. So while at 233 I feel like I am doing pretty good....for others....that is their highest weight ever. BUT, my point is that when you are feeling like an unpolished turd about your weight, remember that there are those that started even fatter than you! I look at the girl on the Biggest Loser who weighs over 400 pounds and I am grateful for my 327 pound starting weight because I had a head start on her.
We are doing this.
We are changing our present and our future.
We can't change the past, but we can learn from it.
We will and we can be better, do better, and live better.
mmmhmmm...Yes We Can (sorry, I felt like Obama half way into my speech and had to throw that it in).
I am writing this for all of us! Sometimes the girl in the mirror with the pointed toe needs a reminder too! Love ya blog buds!
Monday, September 21, 2009
And here is that same corner now.
That's me in my nightie from Old Navy. That is also the wonderful bookshelf from Target that we bought, along with the new shag rug. I havent finished the accessories on the bookshelf yet, but the pictures on the top are my parents on their wedding day, Tracey's parents on their wedding day, and a piece of artwork we bought at a local fair that says "I wasn't beautiful until you loved me".
Awww....more pictures to come!
So I will take my 2.5 pounds. BUT, I needed my 4 pound loss to get me back to where I was before the cruise. I left for the cruise weighing 232, 95 down. But I know I will get there this week. Just a shame it only takes 4 days to gain 6-7 pounds and over 2 weeks to lose it! ARGH.
But what really put me in a funk this morning was my clothing situation. Do you remember weeks ago when I confessed that I broke down and ordered 2 pairs of slack from Lane Bryant? Well after a huge shipping snafu, they came on Friday. They are a 3P red. One in the old faithful black, and the other in heather ginger. I am so excited to have something other than black and something that doesn't give the appearance of poop in my drawers. But they are still a little tight. Not much. And with spanx they look okay, but when I sit down....I fear busting a seam. So I didnt wear them today, and instead wore my droopy slacks. Lately my clothes have been putting me in a bad mood. Sigh. Lots of bitching today huh?
Clothes are important to me. And when I don't feel put together I get grumpy. I need some nice tops. I need those damn pants to fit me! Most of my money these last couple of months have gone to the cruise or to the room redo, so maybe next paycheck I will invest a little in me. Sounds good.
I discovered I could eat a few things that I wouldn't have even tried during those 2 weeks when I was really tight. First, apples. I hadnt tried to eat an apple since surgery...thought the skin would give me problems. But I enjoyed an organic Pink Lady on Friday and have had an apple every day since. Also, one of my most favorite fat girl binge foods before band were frozen waffles. YUM YUM! I would eat like 4 or 6 if no one was watching, smothered in butter and syrup. Now I can eat one. It's whole wheat, and I put some peanut butter on it with a little bit of orange marmalade jelly. Oh yes. OH YES. It has about 300 calories total, but a great way to start the day and it satisfies me for a little while.
Hope everyone is feeling the love today. If not, I am giving your a virtual hug right now. Did you feel it?
Friday, September 18, 2009
Here we are on the last night of the cruise. My brother made Tracey pop his collar. I do not condone that kind of behavior!
Our cute little dish we shared. It was a sombrero!
Ah, my two favorite men. Tracey and my dad.
The whole family. Mom, Tracey, me, dad, sister Tracy, Rachel, and Dean.
Dress up night. This was the captains reception and Tracey and I got up on the stage and were the first couple to dance. Not out of the normal for me...i heart attention...but not exactly Tracey's comfort zone. But when I asked him to dance with me, he didnt hesitate. That's love.
Taste damn good though.
Also, let me introduce you to my snack of the week.
Pirates Booty. Have you ever had it? This is picture I got off the web, and it is hard to tell the bag size, but it is a good sized bag, and I have had some everyday, as has my boss, and we still have some left. Technically, there are 4 servings to a bag, with 140 calories a serving. I had Pirates Booty YEARS ago, and was walking around one of our natural/organic food stores and thought I would pick up a bag. Light and fluffy, sort of the consistency of cheese puff. Different though. Just wanted to share.
Also, I had a thought today. (gasp) I was thinking about how after my unfill I am a little looser than I want to be, and realized that I still wait for the band to tell me when to stop eating instead of stopping and asking myself if I am hungry anymore. I experienced this last night when I couldnt finish my hamburger patty. I had just a few bites left and I was experiencing that dull pain in the band that warns me not to take another bite. I was bummed bc I just wanted to finish it. It was so good. So I thought I would wait until some of the food passed so I could eat more and the light bulb went off! I asked myself if I really needed to eat more. Was I still hungry? The answer was no.
So Tracey decided he would finish off the remainder of my delicious hamburger mush. ahha, he didnt think it tasted as good as I did. Of course, 8 months ago that wouldnt have been my idea of a good meal either. Everything is relative!
Yes? Do you like?
Well, I did that horrible torture device also known as the Pilates machine on Tuesday night. Just 30 minutes. Where I felt the most pain at the time was in my hip flexors.
It was pretty intense, but the instructor told me it was normal for beginners. The day after, I was feeling okay. The next day...I could barely walk. Last night in bed...I could barely move. They hurt so bad.
My coworker said I was experiencing delayed onset muscle soreness...or DOMS. I thought she made the term DOMS up. I mean we all know why we are sore after working out, but I didnt know it had an official title. Turns out it does! And if you google it, you can read all about it. Well...now hold on to your pants bc it's about to all come together....Do you know what one of the side effects of DOMS is? Muscle swelling and water retention.
Thank you. I am a genius.
Okay, not really. And I don't know if the fluid we are retaining while our muscles are sore even amounts to one pound...but...we can at least tell ourselves that...and I dont know about you...it makes me feel a little better!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wow it was tough! It was awesome to try it though, bc usually a full hour is $20. After that, we went and did some circuit training, and finally went to our belly dancing class. Now I have done some belly dancing on FitTV. Great for the abs. This class was different though. Our instructor was normal sized, full of tattoos, and a litte full of herself! It was an hour long class and she spent probably 35 minutes of that covering the basis moves. I had a great time wearing my jingle bell skirt...I need one real bad! But, I expected more of a workout. It was actually more of a how-to-really-bellydance class.
Day 3 of the A-squared challenge has begun, and I am doing good. Havent checked in with Angie this morning, but I will shortly. I am trying to get back on to my vitamin routine bc I have fallen off track with that. I added a new vitamin in addition to my multi and calcium. I has taking prenatals, but will try this instead for hair loss and my nails.
The only one that is missing is my B-12 sublingual that I take M-F, two little pills before I walk out the door. You pop them under your tongue and they dissolve, sort of taste like grape/cherry. This is my brand, but mine are only 500 mg's. I am supposed to get 5000 a week. That's why I take 2 a morning M-F.
Also, I wanted to show you how I can sit in my desk chair now. It is hard to see in this picture, but I am sitting criss cross applesauce or "Indian style". Wouldnt have been able to do this at 327!
Hope everyone is having a great day. I have to teach a class I dont enjoy this afternoon, so I look forward to this work day being over~!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Still on track today, although I did just eat a Cliff bar and I wasnt even hungry. Oohhh guess what? I ate an apple today! I whole one with skin. I havent tried since surgery nearly 8 months ago. It was yummy.
With that said, I need a little fill. I might wait a few weeks so I can see if my choices are keeping the weight on, or if the band could help a little more. He took out .5ccs, and I think I would like at least .25 back.
Tonight I am going to my boss's gym for a belly dancing class. Should be interesting. Not a very cardio-intense class, but good for toning. I hope I get to take my shoes off and be one with the earth :)
Monday, September 14, 2009
Moving right along...
Well this weekend was full of house related work as we continue to improve our front entry way. I will elaborate on that in a moment.
First: HELLO NEW READERS! I am giving you a cyber chest bump!
Second: Weight loss news. Well, I have lost 2 of the 6ish pounds I gained on the cruise and the days that followed. Which brings me back down to 236, total of 91 pounds lost. This week I intend to lose the remaining 4, to get back down to 232. And I will do this bc Angie and I decided we would get our act together and keep things simple and clean this week. Nothing extraordinary, but time to get back on track. No skipping meals, no drinking sunkist or adult beverages, protein first, water, etc.
It is amazing how easy it is to slip back into old habits. And if I can gain 6 pounds on a 4 day cruise, obviously...we need more than the band to achieve our weight loss goals. But we all know this. Sometimes we forget though and I will look at my naughtiness as a learning opportunity :)
Third: Back to the house. Now, you should know that I moved in with Tracey one year ago. This is his house, and he has lived there for 17 years. When the house was bought, they paid $11,000 for it. That's right. You read correctly. Since then, the Tracey has added our current living room, a garage, our master bedroom, a room that will be our new kitchen someday, and a laundry room.
What we are working on is our front entry room, which used to be the original living room. We live in a block house (the old part of the house is basically concrete block). There was green carpet that was probably about 40 years old. Under the green carpet is a horrible asbestos filled brown vinyl tile, put down with TAR!!! We will eventually pull that up and put down nice tile. But, that is the next round of money and time. SO, we pulled the carpet, cleaned the horrible brown tile, caulked the wall and holes, sanded the baseboards, fixed the ceiling, and started to paint. I will be covering the brown tile with a wonderful 8 x 10 rug I bought. I also bought the most beautiful mirror from Pier One. We are also adding a bookshelf, entry table, and pictures on the wall. We went with a dark smokey blue on the walls, and I am doing cream colored drapes from World Market. We still have to finish some painting, so you dont get after pictures until we are done...but here are some before pictures so you can see why we had to do something!
The wall with some of the color samples we tried. The blue is what we went with. Tracey is trimming out.
Looking out the front. Looking into the kitchen. Soooo tiny.
Blurry again. Looking in FROM the living room.
Friday, September 11, 2009
I did something bad. I stopped on the way in to work to buy a birthday card, and bc I wanted it...I bought a damn Sunkist AND a pumpkin shaped peanut butter cup. OKAY!? (are you looking at your computer, shaking your head and judging me?) Amy bad. I know. But don't worry my friends, Karma slapped me upside the head again.
I was eating my peanut butter piece of Heaven and I noticed that it felt like it wasnt going down. Weird I thought to myself, bc candy doesnt usually give me a problem. So I ate it and then took a swig of my Sunkist. I barely made it the two blocks to the parking space in front of our building. I opened the car door, leaned out, and out it can from my mouth....BUT THEN....Wait for it....Waaaaaittt for it....
The baking soda-vinegar-esq reaction started. Orange foam, flavored with the faint memory of chocolate and peanut butter started pouring out of my nose. I was sitting upright by this point staring at my coworker who had just walked out of the building...with this foam pouring out my nose. It wouldnt stop. Seriously, it reminded me of those big hoses that shoot foam out in clubs during Spring Break. I had no handy napkin. Women should still carry a hanky I have decided. Anyways...it got all over my shirt, my jeans, my ego. It was gross.
I decided no more Sunkist for me....starting tomorrow!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Dirty Secret: An empty 20oz bottle of Sunkist.
The Perpetrator (and the victim): Amy (aka...myself)
I havent had a sunkist today. But I had one yesterday. I hide it in the bottom of my drawer and sneak slips as if the plastic bottle was a little flask of booze. The shame.
Man this getting back on track after the cruise is harder than I thought it would be! It is soooo easy to slip back into old habits. Yikers!
Also, I broke down and ordered 2 pairs of slacks from Lane Bryant. Size 3 red. Lordie I hope they fit!
In other news, we are redoing our front entry room. I wanted to try something different and trendy. Original thought was orange. Then we decided NO...to Halloweeney. So we shifted to coral. We went and got a color sample and painted a little on the wall. Turns out....this color of color looked like a flamingo hit our wall doing 100 mph. By this point, I was so disgusted by coral, I went to Home Depot and bought 4 paint samples. Two yellows, one jade, and one olive brown color. It's giving me a headache. But I will decide by tonight and this weekend the painting will begin, followed by me shopping for drapes, bookshelf, entry table, etc. I can't wait until it all comes together.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Weight: Gained 5 pounds (teehee)
Food: The food on the cruise wasn't really as good as I thought it would be. I imagined grand buffets and lots of naughty treats. Clearly with my 5 pound gain I wasn't starving, but still. The buffet was like cafeteria food. The pizza was yummy, and I enjoyed the nice sit down dinners. At lots of calories for my desserts. I was able to eat just fine and only got stuck twice...thanks to pizza. At dinner or lunch I would eat just a few bites of each plate. This included chicken, pork, turkey, stuffing, baked potato. No problems with that. I didn't over do it with the "regular" food...just the desserts. Had a few pops (sodas), and just 2 or 3 froofie drinks.
Activity: This is where I noticed a huge difference. There are elevators on the ship, but they take awhile...so for the most part we took the stairs...and it was usually my idea! Although my calves were super sore the next day, I never got winded or sweaty. That was awesome.
My Unfill and Getting Stuck: I am glad that I got the unfill bc I would have had lots of problems. I am a little too loose, but I am just going to hang with it and practice some self control for a few weeks. He ended up taking out .5ccs, and I think .25ccs would have been better. I had to episodes of "must find the nearest bathroom now" on the boat, and like I mentioned, both were pizza related. I really lucked out both times, bc those public restrooms are few and far between and sometimes have huge lines! Thanks to Tracey for helping me rush to the bathroom the first time. He navigated for me, held the door while I flew in past him and I barely made it to the sink.
Getting Back on Track: Oh I gained 5 pounds. That is the number I had set as my limit, and I am not upset about it. On the cruise I didnt give much thought to calories or eating for fuel. It was weird since that is all my focus has been for almost 8 months now...weird...but not super hard to slip back into that eat all the time mentality. Slightly concerning. So now that I am back to work I can get back into my groove. Drinking water again. No pop. Eating regular times and healthy foods. I will lose this 5 pounds in good time and be heading down again. It was all worth it.
The Cruise Overall: I had a wonderful time. It was great being with my whole family and Tracey on vacation. I dont know if that will ever happen again bc it is rare that my sister travels with us. Our cruise ship was the oldest in the fleet and will be retired in November. For the money it was a great deal. It was an awesome gift for my birthday to be able to spend it with the people I love the most.
My Bday and You Guys: Thank you for all the wonderful birthday wishes yesterday and all the kind words on my post! After celebrating my bday a few different places over the past couple of weeks, yesterday we just took it easy and went to eat for lunch and did some shopping for the home!
I hope everyone is doing well! I am going to do my very best to catch up on everyone's blogs! The few I did read seem like everyone is doing pretty darn good with the weight loss!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Love this dress from Target.
Dress up night. If you want this dress let me know. It is a size 16, but runs a little big.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
This was last Friday. Casual Day. These pants are from the infamous 2001 stash. They are a size 20 Levi's, but I like to think of them as my size 18 Levis bc my NEW size 20 Levis are too big. So...take that jean makers.
In this first picture do you see that orb on my shoulder? Do you know what that means? It's a ghost/spirit. I think it is my grandma. HI GRANDMA!