And as you have learned, I do not really care. I mean I am concerned what I look like...but I can shove that somewhere back in my mind so I don't let my body inhibit how good of time I will have. So I did. And I had a great time. Tracey and I played with the kids, having diving contests, etc. I did a cartwheel off of the diving board...I did toe touches, flips. All 242 pounds of my fabulousness.
Then...today...I saw the pictures.
Tracey looks pretty awesome yes? I on the other hand do not. I am not looking for affirmation and love, or seeking compliments. But I just hate that I do not feel this fat! (That sounded weird)I guess I didn't estimate how my loose fat and skin would shift and move like it was possessed by an inner alien just waiting to break out. I do not feel that I look like this. And now, I feel embarrassed. And I dont get embarrassed easily. But while I feel that the crowd was thinking "I can't believe she has the much self-confidence", I wonder now if they were thinking "Damn she is huge. I hope she doesnt break the diving board."