Sunday, August 2, 2009

Death to Lane Bryant

On Friday I went to Lane Bryant to find some jeans for my brothers "Big Rock Show" in Nashville, on August 14th. I dont have one pair of jeans bc I cant see spending $50 on jeans that, bc Florida is hotter that Satan's innermost lair, I will only wear a handful of times before they are too big. But, I dragged my ass into Lane Bryant to buy some right fit red jeans in a size 4. I dont know for sure if that is the size I need, but I am pretty sure. When I got there I was surprised bc they actually had some new styles in the Right Fit. So I am looking.

Hmm...looking for petite, red, size 4.

Still looking.

I can't find any damn petites. Only average. I asked the sales lady and behold...she says "We arent carrying petites or talls anymore in store. You have to order them online". I thought I would punch her in the face and then break down and cry. I just stared at her. Seriously? The one place that I can walk in and buy a pair of jeans that don't gap at the waist and fit my length...has now taken away my size and I have to shop online just like everywhere else? I asked her if they weren't popular or selling well. She said "OH NO, they sell great...we just dont have room for them".

I dont know if this is everyone, or just our local store on the corner of Assmunches and Torture.

So. That sucked.

On Saturday Tracey and I went shopping and I did find some Levi's, size 20W that fit. They gap in the waist, but they will do. They were only $19.99.

Also, we walked around the mall and just went into stores, looked around, etc. I have lived here for almost 3 years and have never walked around the entire mall. We looked at rings. Fun. But I was also able to go into shops that I wouldnt go in without someone skinny bc I know the salespeople would be like "What is Buffarilla doing in here?" This include stores like Gap, Buckle, etc.

I also went into Victoria Secrets. If you remember that last time I was measured for a bra it was at Lane Bryant. The said I needed a 40DDD. Well, the band was too tight so I had to get an extender. If I didnt, then it was tight and gave me double boob. The straps fall down, the cups gap. Again...death to Lane Bryant.

So into Victoria Secrets. I got measured. 40DD. The tiny little assistant picked out some bras for me and off Tracey and I go to the fitting room. Guess what? Boys cant go into dressing rooms with the ladies at VS! Did you know this? I dont really know why? I mean we can get naughty in ANY dressing room.

What else was weird was having this tiny little girl in the room with me looking at my bra while I was half naked. I didnt have a problem with the naked thing, just the fat thing. Oh well. The bras fit GREAT! Totally different than Lane Bryant. I will be buying a Biofit this payday!


  1. Good for you, Steve enjoys going bra shopping, enuff said!:) Too bad about LB, they are my current go-to store, but I'm also starting to have issues with them. Last week my daughter and I went and there were NO tops appropriate for work to match my two good pairs of pants. and, NO clearance, just this bullcrap area for 'upcoming season' clothing. Just crap. I was pissed and didn't buy anything.
    I can buy any lotion I want in VS and it fits..that's all!!

  2. Lane Bryant drives me crazy-if I find something I like, they never have it again. And Kathi I agree the tops there are way to embellished for me to wear to work.
    Back in the day I only bought VS bras - I can't remember the style but they were satin and had wide straps- they really held the girls up. Hopefully I can get back in their sizes soon.

  3. Amy - I'd offer you my size 4 blues... they are regular length though. However, if you want a pair, holla! They are yours. And I agree - I have a Hate-Hate and occassionally love relationship with LB. Lately, I'm in love with JC Penney... far cheaper than LB ever will be! :-)

  4. I don't know why but I have never shopped there. I managed to get my jeans in 20w and 22w at target and I refused to go elsewhere.

    You said in Levi's you're a 20w, so I was wondering if you would post your measurements?? I saw someone elses the other day, she's in an 18 and I'm in a 20, we are the same inches. So it's fun to see how people stackk up on the measuring tape and if I should be buying a diff brand to get into that 18. B/c I sure as hell will!!!

  5. when I still lived in the states I used to call LB Lame Giant.

    Like every other + sized girl I am constantly in awe of the craptacular clothing they design for us. LB's tops are getting so out there- I work in an office, not a disco people! And why in gods name would I, at a size 20, 44H bra size, want my wardrobe to mostly consist of shiny, embellished halter tops?

  6. I have all but cut off LB. I find Old Navy more flattering on the size tag ;) and they fit nicely. I also enjoy Maurices jeans but they are a bit saggy in the bum area ;) I has no booty!

    I'm a 5 yellow right fit... petite.

  7. I've never been a LB person, but love Old Navy jeans in short (I'm only 5'3" on a very good day:).

    I haven't ventured into VS yet. I am down to a 38C but the girls are so floppy, I'd die if anyone saw them...LOL!

  8. dude i'm wearing a biofit right now in 40DD - best bra EVER, boobtwin!

  9. I hear everyone on the LB issues. I can't stomach spending $40 on a shirt, especially when the material is really thin and shows every lump, or super dressy and not appropriate for everyday. I sooo can not wait to be able to fit into VS bras. Congrats on the wl, I noticed your ticker had moved. Have a great day.

  10. Ha! "Work in an office, not a disco!" :)

    When I lived in another state a few years ago, they had an Avenue and an LB. I like variety. But 'round these parts, it's just LB as you well know, Amy.

  11. The bra thing struck me as funny, maybe because I'm sitting around waiting for my mom to come along and take me to my post op class. Growing up, I always had this really wide back but not very big boobs. So if my mom took me to Vicky's to look for bras for the both of us, it was hysterical that even at my thinnest, I could BARELY fit into a 36B (normally a 38, but 38Bs were harder to find years ago, so I settled. Pinched my back and I barely had enough for the cups) and my mom was stuck ordering out of the catalog because she was a 32DD. Insanity. She's now older and a little bit bigger, so she can manage a 34, but is up to a DDD. She's always hated her boobs. I got mine after having my daughter, so I don't mind wearing a 40D even though I should be more like a 42D.

    My friend Paul loves to shop in Lane Bryant for his girlfriend (she's what he describes as "full figured" since he's yet another member of the "I'm the skinny, supportive, loving boyfriend" club) I personally will look at a top in their front window, marvel at how they occasionally get something cute - stare blankly at the $69.99 price tag they want for the flimsy piece of fabric - and then move on and just buy more t-shirts for $10 a pop at Target. That's just how I roll. LOL.