Monday, April 5, 2010

A Post So Long It Should Be A Mini Series

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? I have not. But I have always wanted to. And I have decided that someday I will. I don't know why I just bolded all of my I's. But I guess it's because I thought it would be fun.

You see, although I HATE to say this...the fat Amy would never have ridden a mechanical bull. I know. I know. Is this the same Amy who preaches about fat not holding you back? YES. But in my defense, I was never presented with the opportunity as a fat girl to ride one, so I might have. But, probably not. I would have been worried about people making fun of the fat girl on the bull. I see the opportunity for an easy fat cow joke.

So, put mechanical bull riding on the list.

Have I ever told you how I have a love obsession with butter? I do. When I butter a piece of cornbread or muffin...sweet dairy farm...I load that sucker!! At restaurants when they bring that little baby one ounce cup of butter with the rolls...I am always confused why they didnt bring some for the rest of the table. Clearly, that little tub is for me and my one roll. Luckily, I don't eat bread much anymore. But when I do...stand back.

Also, the discovery of what I assume is my tailbone has not been a good one! We do these ab exercise at bootcamp where you sit in an upright crunch position with a medicine ball and twist back and forth...and it kills my tailbone! How do you skinny people do it? I don't know. I injured my tailbone again last night whilst sitting on the dresser...don't ask. Don't tell.

I had a great week with weight loss. 4.5 pounds! That my friends, I will take. Yesterday the scale said 194.5 (the official swimsuit weight loss challenge) and today it said 195.5 (MY official recording weight day). So I am pleased and chugging right a long! I am at a very Zen place with my weight loss and eating right now. This phase comes and goes, so I enjoy when it visits. When I am experiencing this wonderful phenomenon, I pay attention to my actual hunger. I cut back on grazing. I drink water. I work out. All is right with the world.


Speaking of good resting heart rates (oh...wait...we weren't talking about that were we)....I went to the doctor the other day. I was in need of a new general/family doctor bc mine up and left over a year ago! I found a new one and I really like him! I had to go bc I had a lump in my groin, right along my pantie line. Do you know you have lymph nodes there? I didn't. And do you know what you find when you google lump + lymph nodes in your groin? Nothing good. Scary google information. So I went to have it checked out and it is in fact my lymph node, but just a little infection and nothing more! ANYWHOOOZLE, my doctor was so impressed with my resting heart rate (below 50 he said). He also said "you must exercise a lot". To which I said "Why yes...yes I do". He read from my paperwork that I had lapband and was very proud of my weight loss. I get a little nervous telling other docs about the surgery bc sometimes docs have strong opinions about such things. So back in a week for some bloodwork and then back in 2 weeks for my annual lady station tune up! Good times.

Oh my gosh. When did this become the longest post ever?

Moving right along.

I have been excited (Amy shakes head in confusion at what she is typing), yes...actually looking forward to working out today! MWF we do our bootcamp/circuit training. And on Wednesday's I dash from circuit to Zumba. I have to be honest and tell you that there are a lot of days that I would go home and park myself on the couch if it wasn't for Tracey loving workout time! He makes sure I stay on track. But to actually find myself looking forward to working out is strange. And it has taken one year and 2 months for this to happen. So be patient. Someday it may happen to you!

Several weeks ago I was carrying something into the house on my side...a little above my hip. And it was pressing on something hard. Do you know what it was? It was my oblique! My side muscle! And even though I can't see them yet, I can feel them and they are HARD!

Yes, I believe that I underneath my protective outer layer of insulation, I look like Pink. And I wanted you to know this. Because you too may have a Pink, Fergie, or Gwen Stefani ab section living in you.

Are you still reading? Because I am not done yet.

Today I ran to Kohls on my lunch break to find pants. I found my current size 16's there. Well, they are too big so I was in search of some 14's. Guess what? The 14's are still a little snug in the thighs, and some created the dreaded camel toe. So, no work slacks for me. I am down to one pair of black slacks that Nicole sent me. I have one pair from Mary that I need to have taken up, and one beautiful white pair from Nicole as well that are a few pair from fitting. Guess I will have to wear my dresses for awhile! I am not discouraged though. I will find some pants. All in due time.

While I was at Kohls though I did something. Something very, very, monumental. I grabbed the pair of shorts that have been my goal shorts since preband. The shorts that I spoke of a few posts back. THE NIKE SHORTS~! So I slipped them on, built in panties and all. And they fit! Yes ma'am and yes sir they did. However, just as I had feared, my crotch wanted to gobble them up as soon as I started faux walking in the dressing room. They wanted to work themselves right on up. But I took a picture. Just to documents this occasion.

It just may be that I may not ever be able to wear short shorts. And that would not be the end of the world. We will just have to stay tuned to see if and when my inner thighs ever decide to shrink. They are bad. The good thing is, there is still a lot of fat there, so maybe they will tighten up a little. I mean come on though... how many plie' squats I do while holding a dumbbell do I need to do? Here is a precious little diagram of the squat. I hold a 45 pound dumbbell.
You see that purple shirt I am wearing? Banana Republic thank you very much. Dark purple. Here is a closer look. I am bent over in this picture. That is why you are getting a peek-a-boo at the cleavage. I am a lady!

I was reading Keelie's blog today. Whenever I see pictures of the beautiful Keelie I think..."Wow, I can't wait to be thin like Keelie one day". And then today she posted her weight (she wasn't keeping it a secret, I just don't pay attention sometimes) and it is 192! Just a few pounds less than me. AND THEN, I asked her how tall she was, because I figured she must be like 6 foot or something...and she is only 5'4". Like me. So we were emailing and she was thinking that when she saw my blue shorts the other day she wished she looked like me! Do you see where this is going? What if we are living in some parallel universe and we are ALL really hot supermodels but we don't know it?

It's like the Weight Loss Twilight Zone! (cue Alfred Hitchcock music).

One last thing. For those of you that have been with me since the beginning of time...or those of you who have read my entire blog (bless you. for real), you remember last April when I did my first 5k. Well, it is that time again, and come Saturday, we are doing it again. I am a walker and I can't wait to beat my time from last year and then do a comparison post with pictures and times and everything fun! It really is a wonderful 5k. It is small, on the beach, and benefits rape crisis victims.

And that my friends concludes this broadcast of the longest post ever! Thank you for reading. I think there still may be enough time in your day to cook dinner or watch TV. If not. I apologize. And I love you.

Go in peace.


  1. First, those shorts will be fitting and not riding up in no time. Second, good luck with the 5k! Third, while I'm a good 30 lbs higher than you, I have my own tailbone issues but I'm pretty sure I can attribute it to childbirth. Nonetheless, I literally feel your pain on this one.

  2. you look beautiful in dark purple :0)

  3. great post! i don't mind reading long posts, it's like going to a long movie, i feel like i've gotten my money's worth. lol

    you're an inspiration. you're doing so well on your weight loss. can't wait to see pics of the 5k.

  4. yes! I made it all the way through that post! I always do on yours! They crack me up till the end.

    I love that purple on you! I love your hair color. I love your eyes. Ummm....I think I pretty much love you!

    I'm going to have to give the plie' squats a try! I can't believe I never even thought of doing those! Hello! I'm a freaking former (soon to be again) dancer!

  5. I read the WHOLE thing and I'm ready for nap time! Without you and Drazil I don't know if i'd be able to make it through my day.

    And what is the problem with shorts? Why do my lady parts LOVE to munch on shorts? Ugh! I even have a pair of capris that ride up the middle too.

    I can't wait to shop at the Banana! So jealous!!

  6. I like the pink pants. I'm sorry about the gobbling action, but they look good from here anyway :).

    I want to do this 5K with you. I am not able to run at the moment anyway (still having those health issues). Of course, I may slow you down if you had to stay with me the whole time, but I don't mind if you leave me in your dust and walk ahead either. I do have a couple of other things on Saturday, but what time does it start? How much is it? It has been FO-EVA since I've seen you.

  7. I didn't mind the long post at all. I can't wait until I get banded. I found out that I have to do the dreaded 6 month diet before my insurance will approve UGGGHHH!! But I do see that time as building discipline *sigh*.

    Amy you inspire me so I'm going to push through this. The purple is beautiful on you. Keep up the good work.

    Somebody pray me through these next 6 months PLEASE!!!

  8. OK, If this is a mini series I must be babblind encyclopedias LOL! I just can't help it! You look great GF!!! I love the NEED them for the 5K!!

  9. Ooh, that shirt looks so pretty on you and you look pretty in it!! I know what exercise you are talking about with the ball for the abs and your tailbone pain.. I get the same pain too.. and I HATE that exercise.. I curse my trainer everytime she motions to the floor and the ball.. Good luck with the 5K this weekend!!

  10. You look so good Amy! You do a blog community proud!

  11. You look awesome in the shorts! You look so thin in your pictures. I can't believe what a difference here is in 206 vs. 196! That's inspiring to make me want to work really, really hard to get from 204 (where I am) to 194 (where you are!). I just can't believe you could lose as much as you have in a week! When you are in the zone - or zen - what is your normal food day and how much per week are you working out? Maybe I need to work out more. Regardless, love the pics and you look so skinny in the blue BR shirt! I'm going to get up and go complete my daily run right now!!! :) Rock on Amy!

  12. Awwww you're about the same height as me punky! Who knew? I loved the long post and I commented back on your "no lock bathroom" comment on mine. LOL I think you're right -we're all freaking Heidi Klums and we had no idea. This is why I love you so much - you cover 50 topics in one blog just like me. Ha!

  13. I love the elusive "zen" place in weight loss, when it happens for me. I promise that if I had it all the time, I would NEVER take it for granted. Never EVER. Sigh.

    What? We're not all super models??? Isn't it weird how what you have seems to look so much better on someone else? Maybe we're too hard on ourselves?

    Anyway, Amy you look really beautiful in your pictures. And you OWN the 190's. Soon to be the 180's, etc, etc...

    Well, now it's time for bed. Good night! Kidding... this was a GOOD long post...

  14. my inner skinny is a mix between gwen stefani and ashley judd i think. lol and congrats on your nike shorts victory. i often eye the cute nike and adidas workout apparrel at the local academy and can't wait til i can get my bootocks (as my son likes to call it) into some of those!

  15. Great post. Amy's back! I love it! I missed you and the rambles! I don't know what I missed over the weekend, just getting started on catching maybe you came back before this...

    Love the rambles. You know I do it myself - but spite of being non-readable...I do it anyway!

  16. Namaste. I heart the pink shorts! I will be sending you out best wishes for your 5K on Sat. It's kinda cool we will be doing bicoastal 5K's :)

    Oh, and I think I am hiding some Fergie abs

  17. our goal shorts I LOVE it!! One day VERY soon!

  18. Love the shorts and no doubt soon they won't ride up! Purple really suits you :)

  19. It was worth not feeding the family - great post.

  20. This was an awesome post (and yes, I read it all!) - it made me smile. Congrats on the loss! :)

  21. You look so amazing! Congradulations

  22. Amy...that was amazing as always. I'll be here waiting for the next part in the series. lol

    I *love* your alternate universe theory!
    Drazil never saw me as big enough to need WLS and I never see any of the flaws she sees on herself - I think she's a hot mama. So maybe what we need to do is borrow each others eyeballs for a day or two. But would that work? Like...maybe I'd still look super fat to myself and then I'd be all pi$$ed that I took out my eyeballs for nothing. ya know? I guess we'll never get to the bottom of this. Crap.

  23. Seriously, you are too adorable for words. I read every single word you wrote in this post, by the way. So your typing wasn't for naught. You never fail to make me laugh, I love the stream of consciousness but still aware of the big picture stuff. It's a real strength for you. Love it.

    Thanks for following my blog! you're the best.

  24. Those shorts are too cute. I have a pair of goal shorts too and I bought them, but only because I got them on clearance for a dollar! Cute adidas shorts very similar to the nike ones you were wearing there. I'm hoping one year post band to be able to wear them. I have the same problem with shorts though, start walking and they ride up my crotch. I've kind of resigned myself to the fact I'll be a capri (short ones more like bermuda shorts) kind of girl.

    Hooray for the 5k! I can't wait to see comparisons. I bet you beat your time and take the top walker for your category again (that was you, right?).

  25. was so long i can't remember what i wanted to comment on! lol ok so i will have to try those plie squats, but no 45 lbs for me! maybe 12 to start :-)
    oh and please email me @ xyzcarmiexyz@aol with your address so i can send you those jeans for your jared pic :-)

  26. I really needed to read this, especially after facing down the nurse today and talking about getting past my mental barriers I've been holding onto for too long. To stop thinking about one place in life we can be and really imagine where we could end up.

    Just look where you ended up... and are still moving towards. :)

  27. You are seriously looking thin these days! Congratulations! Skinny Bitch indeed. Except minus the bitch part! And that purple shirt is to die for. I was just telling my hubby tonight that one of my goals is to be able to shop at Banana Republic!

  28. I LOVE that blue on you - that is your colour - so strong and pretty.
    I noticed you took the shorts pic from the side lol No wanting to shock your viewers huh? But girl.. YOU GOT INTO THE SHORTS YOU ALWAYS WANTED TOO... How good does that feel? Super stoked for you!!! You are just gorgeous, camel toe or not!!!

  29. I want to look like BOTH of you!! So how about THAT!?

  30. Tailbone dresser comment made me literally LOL! You are naughty! Congrats on the 4.5 lbs this week, it is great to see the scale moving! Good luck Saturday on your 5k, can't wait to see the comp pics! Oh, since purple is my fav color, I have to tell you how much I LOVE that shirt. The pic in the dressing room is insane - you are a skinny bitch ;) No doubt about it! <3


    so My tailbone hurts too...

    I cant do the 5k because my sister and stepmother and sister that I havent seen in 5 years are coming on Thursday night and staying until sunday!

    4.5lbs in a weeeeeeeeekk!!! great job Amykins!

    The insides of my legs are gross too but I can live with them I just need to fix my boobies and tummy!

  32. LOL I put sister and stepmother and sister...YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

  33. I have ridden a mechanical bull and when youu come visit me in Texas - We will go do it together