Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Blogger "Convention" In Chicago Meets Debbie Downer

The time has come for me to post about the get together that Drazil, Jenny, and kaghead are working so hard on arranging.

First. I think it FANTASTIC! It has been something so many of us have mentioned time and time again and this time...I think it is going to happen!

Several of you have emailed me or Facebooked me about why I haven't said anything about it. I guess because it kind of makes me sad.

When Jenny first asked me what I thought of the idea I thought it was wonderful. In my mind I thought it would be next year sometime which meant I could save up for it. And then when I read the blog and it said June of THIS year, I knew there was no way. September is now the magic month and that does sound more promising, but I don't think I will be able to go.

And here is why.

(I am eye rolling at the computer right now bc I don't think you want to hear I will keep it brief).

Tracey and I, like many of you, live in the wonderful work of paycheck to paycheck. We don't share a bank account or pool our money. We each pay half of the bills (I have cell and cable), he has the utilities. Half of Tracey's income goes to child support. We have no credit cards. I do have a tremendous amount of student loan debt bc I was an idiot with my money in my 20's and naively thought that upon graduation I would land a high paying job.

Yes. It is safe in my fantasy world.

After moving to Florida after college, by myself, and without a job...I had to end up taking a job at Home Depot. But that is where I met Tracey, so I can't complain about that :)

Three years ago I started my current profession and make a nice salary that pays the bills and is not bad for a nonprofit. It is still half of what I wanted to be making by now.

We are by no means poor or sinking. But I don't have an account or stash of emergency or fun money. Suze Orman would be very unhappy with me.

So when fun things are in the future...such as a cruise, vacation, trip to Chicago to meet ladies that I am madly in love with...I have to start saving for those kind of things. And I could save enough money by September...but it just happens to be that we are already saving for another upcoming event (that has yet to be pretend you don't know anything and don't even bother to ask bc my secret is locked in a vault). All of the money I can set aside is going to that.

Sigh. I am premenstrual and talking about money makes me sad and stresses me out. So I have been putting off this post for days. I guess I didn't want you think I was looking for pity because my situation is not a sad one, just a real one.

So. I hate the words "I can't". I hate saying "It's not going to happen". So I will not say either of those.

I am going to see what I can do. Let me price some things. Let me see how I can move things around.

I know it won't be the end of the world. And I truly believe this is just the beginning of real life meets.

I know we say so many times "I feel like I know you, when I don't even really KNOW you". But the thing is...we do actually know each other. I work with people 8 hours a day that know me in the physical sense, but don't know half of what you know about me in the emotional, mental, and lady dangle sense.

And don't worry. In person I am boring, dull, not funny. lol. And you KNOW Drazil is an attention whore. Could two of those be in the same room at once? Your heads might explode.

OOOH...but if I do go...can we jello wrestle each other?


  1. I'm right here with much as I want to go, I need months upon months to save even $ sucks. It will happen though someday. Don't get down about your financial situation, the fact that the 2 of you do not have any credit card debt is AMAZING and totally brag worthy...I wish I could say the same :(

  2. yeah. you are not alone on this one. if the meet was next year or further off i could probably make it happen, too. but it's not so i prolly can't. sad but not the end of the world. just the way things are. although chicago is right up there close to my in laws so i'm sure my husband would be chomping at the bit to see them. sigh! i wouldn't!!! lol

  3. Amy - I know that was a difficult post for you to write. I don't think I can make it either. You see I am a wuss and can't travel by myself. I need someone to hold my hand & get me to where I need to go or I will poop myself. So sad for us right? I totally get what you're saying about "knowing" our friends here - amazing & awesome isn't it?

  4. I started looking up flights and stuff yesterday and I figure that I'd have to save about $500 to really be able to have some fun. I don't know yet if I can justify the $$. Florida came in 2nd for destinations, so if I can't swing it this time, maybe next time. It still sucks! :)

  5. But what about plans to have a "gathering" in Florida next year! We can't just have one you know, we need to travel to all parts and let everyone in on the fun. Chicago will get out the bugs and onward to the next locale-Florida in the winter sounds fab to me! California here we come! And can't leave out the big Apple. So many places, so many bloggers, so much fun.

    I can only do this because I can get really cheap standby flights anywhere in the world. I luv my son for working for Air Canada. So don't fret. We look up to you as a success story of how to work the band. Don't ever forget that. Your spirit lives!!

  6. Suze Orman would be very unhappy with me too @ the point in my life! ;-P There will be other trips, other get togethers and when you are able you will go and have fun!! Chin up, press on! ;-)

  7. But I don't have an account or stash of emergency or fun money.

    Me neither. There are so many things I want to do so badly, but I can't. My half marathon at Disney World next year? Probably not going to happen because I can't even save $50 each month. My student loan payments are about a quarter of my monthly income; my car payment and insurance take another quarter. Then I have "regular people" bills. And new clothes to buy (I can't tell you how badly I need new panties, but I can't get them!).

    Just letting you know that you're not alone :)

  8. I am NOT an attention whore. Okay - fine - maybe I am but still - yes I will jello wrestle you but only if it's lime cuz I look good in green. I love you punky - where there's a will there's a way and fate has a sneaky way of making things happen and if not - um - yah - see you in Florida next year at the second annual BOOBS meeting.

  9. I understand your situation completely and I know that if I called the Suze orman show and got on the "Can I afford it segment", I would be...DENIED! But hubby agrees that since I decided not to go my 20 year high school reunion and I can fly using frequent flyer miles, he indulged me. Remember, if this plan works out, I'm sure we can do another one next year!!

  10. I totally understand. I hate $$ - It's evil.

    I'm an optimist though and since you are our queen, we NEED you there. It's MEANT TO BE. I think it will happen.
    You said, and I quote: "All Hope Is Not Lost"
    I shall put that under my pillow and sleep on it and conspire ways to get you there.
    It's going to happen.

    Dawn - I think BG is from your State - maybe you two can join up. That is if she's not on a book tour by then! :)

  11. I know the feelin. We are not poor but definitely don't have money just laying around. Some day I will have money to spend and not feel guilty about spending it. Some day, Some day....

  12. First of all I think we should go ahead and choose a date for next summer in Florida and for sure you will be there. I have a feeling things will work out, I'm writing to Oprah today for the "hook up." As for you and Drazil, I want first row seats for the Jello pit! As Jen put it, you are our Queen...

  13. I hear you honey! I won't be able to go unless I come into money!!

  14. how about a BOOB bake sale to fund the event? we can make cupcakes that look like boobs and sell them at construction sites.. (I better go back to work)

  15. Ha Ha! The bake sale would be hysterical! Amy, I'm not sure if I will be able to go either. We are going to Phoenix for Christmas this year. If it is in Florida next year then count me in!!!!

  16. Did someone say "booby bakesale"??? Seriously that could work.

  17. You can stay with me! I have 2 dogs, a skinny bitch and a crazy kid but we have a spare room!?!?!

    Who else lives in Florida and can fit Amy in their suit case???

    I'll start making jell-o now and begin filling the neighbors pool. I wonder how they'll like that when they go to fill it with water after Memorial day?

  18. Amy, I also wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your concern for me next week. I haven't even told ANYONE in my family about the surgery... just so they wouldn't get all worried. The only thing I'm nervous about is the recovery, because as a working mom, well... there's not much down time. But, if I DON'T take the time... it will only take longer to heal. Bad cycle. But, my husband is my wonderful BOOB supporter... so it'll all be ok because he will make it so.

    And, I also predict that you WILL be at the Chicago convention at the end of September. XOXO

  19. money IS evil! i loathe it and more importantly i loathe not having any :-) it'll be tight for me, but i'll find a way! i hope you can too!

  20. Same boat, different ocean ;)

    Cash flow is always a problem at my house. We make way too much to have the problems we have, but it is what it is. My massive student loans have been a thorn in my financial health since I started that mess at 18.

    I am so impressed that you have zero credit card debt...yet another way I wish to be more like you in the future ;)

    And I think we *should* be planning next year's meetup in FL!

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  22. It's destiny. You'll be there (fingers crossed).
    Ha ha, I know the vaulted secret (I think).

  23. Same boat. But I am SUPERMEGAULTRA jealous that all the cool kids get to go. I love parties. Blerg.

  24. I hope that you will be able to go! Everyone will love to see you and it wouldn't be the same with you.

    But I do understand. I will not be able to make it this year since we just declared Bankruptcy! But I am really going to try for next year!!

  25. I hope it works out for you! If I find where I stashed my money tree I will send you a seedling :)

    This is just more reason for us to plan for next year since it would give folks more time to save up!

  26. I know the feeling and I have to say I am so in awe of your impulse control and lack of spending.

    Let's just say my compulsive behaviours also extend into shopping. As with food, I have scaled back a lot and we're working through our debt. But it will take time.

    I said yes to a visit without even thinking of how I'd pay for it. Scarily, I guess I just assumed I'd put it on my cc and that's no good.

    Hmmm must really think about one....and good on you for putting it out there!

  27. I am currently unemployed so I totally understand. I'd be down for a Florida gathering somewhere in the middle of the state since you're all the way north and I'm all the way south and we have people all over the place in between. Orlando has crazy cheap hotel rooms in the summer during the off season and if our entertainment is sitting by the pool and drinking fruity drinks it wouldn't be too expensive.

  28. I am just wondering if you have seen the movie "Julie and Julia" remember when she put the pay pal site on her blog so that people could send money to fund her cooking adventure...I mean it's not a bake sale but it's a people can donate sky miles to other people...rooms can be shared...girlie there is always a way! Kudos on no credit card debt, I just got there myself, lovin it!

  29. I think you are way to hard on yourself - if you can save for things that are important to you than you are not living paycheck to paycheck. You set goals and you achieve them. You are just prioritising your goals!!!

    I was also really terrible with my money in my 20's and am still paying off the bloody debt but my hubby and I have just purchased our own flat (which of course now means we have an even bigger debt but at least it is good debt).

    Things don't stay the same forever and everything improves. :-)

  30. I am sure you will get for us way at all I am afraid

  31. I am in the same boat Amy! It royally sucks, but I will definitely be there at the FL meeting! And we still have to meet up when you come through the 'Ham!

  32. Since I'm newly active here I don't feel like I know everyone well enough yet to justify spending that kind of money for a trip. When it was first mentioned I thought "Hey maybe it will be next year so I can get to know everyone and save some money" but alas its not. Sandy Lee mentioned that her son works for Air Canada, lucky duck. My brother works for them but somehow I'm not considered immediately family to get the discount, its better for me to get seat sales????!?

  33. I don't think you're Debbie Downer for this. The fact that you can at least save money up to go do things in the future puts you far ahead of many of the people in the US right now who can't even do that.

    Having the man in my world (we're similar in set-up with paying bills, the only side to that is he pays rent and then I pay the majority of the bills, the food and the activities, like movie going, etc) helped me finally get financially secure after years of paying back everyone in my life I'd had to borrow money from when I was married to the asshole ex.

    And *toot toot* I don't get child support from him even though I could probably figure out a way to have his check docked for it. I like not having him in Liv's life or mine because he's a "recovering" meth addict who doesn't need to have any influence in her life.

    You'll get there at some point too. You've got to find a way to negotiate your student loan stuff, but once that's out of the way, you'll feel much better, believe me.

    Plus, how can you be poor when you've got all this love?!??!? (Hey, you said it was the blog about cheese... )

  34. Amy... totally get it - and honestly, somehow I didn't realize we were talking this June... or is it september? either way - yikes... not sure the schedule will allow for it - need to reassess... I like the idea of you setting up a paypal account though because you need to be there - and I think that those who mentioned that it will happen, somehow, are right... it will... we love you too much for you to not be there!

  35. Amy, you are so stinkin cute. I have been following you since before surgery. I have begged you to follow me on my blog, but I'm still not a cool kid. :)

    Girl, it's hard. Money is a necessary evil. I am currently fundraising to return to West Africa to dig a well in my son's birth village.

    I may actually steal the boob cupcake idea. :)

    Only you know whether the trip will work out, but I think that room sharing, frequent flier donations, etc are all very good ideas. The trip wouldn't be the same without you.

    Hope to meet you soon!


  36. Seriously, why can't we do a fundraiser? There must be a way. I would help out with paypal too! You MUST be there Amy! Share a room, we will all share meals (since we can't finish them anyway), so that just leaves the flight money. Let's get the bake sale or whatever going!

  37. Oh yeah, and the alcohol fund. I will start saving for that right now and promise to buy you a drink every time I get one ;)