Monday, May 2, 2011

Umbrella Bags And Slime Evacuation

Do you know that LapBand Gal is 18 months post-op and never PB'd?  You read that correctly (I do realize there are a few of you responsible chewers and eaters out there that have never gotten stuck to the point of projectile food).  Well, I didn't want her to feel left I gave her the closest thing to a PB.  I did it for her.  On the streets of San Fran. 

Here we are on Thursday night at a yummy little restaurant called A16.  Basically is was a shee shee poo poo Italian restaurant where I wouldnt have known what to order bc they used fancy descriptive Italian words (I am familiar with Ragu...Classico)...but it was delicious.  As was all the wine. 
Well.  Even though it was a seven course meal and I ate my share (and some of everyone elses too)...I didnt have any trouble.  It was the next day, when LPG and I decided to grab lunch...that things went south...well...I guess they went north...

I digress.

We ate lunch in Macy's and I ordered chili.  I figured this would be safe!  I ate almost half of my bowl and took a swig of pop as we headed out.  As we were heading up the escalator I said to LPG, "this could be bad".

She actually looked excited for a moment.  She wanted to know what it felt like.  I was doing the silent and yet ineffective lapband prayer in my head "please go down, please go down".  On our way out, I went to grab an umbrella bag just in case.

I knew that if it was coming up, it was going to be a fast one.  The back of my jaw was getting "that feeling"...and I could feel the pop bubbling up.  Well, we made it about 10 feet.  And there, across from the iconic Union Square, pressed against Macy's, with the little Lapband Gal shielding me as best as her skinny ass could...

up came the foam.  And then the foam out of the nose happened.  No napkin.  No hanky.  Only my sleeve for clean up.

It was classy to say the least.

But I felt better and we trotted off to Victoria Secret.

The end



  1. I'm sorry about your public PB.

    But I love your dress! Super cute!

  2. Very descriptive! I'm stuck right now and doing the silent prayer, it's not working either. Uh oh! It blows my mind that Karin has never PB'd that's amazing!

  3. What a crack up. I can just see LBG watching you.

  4. Just to let you know I thought in getting a bypass I could avoid the dreaded PB. Well its not true. FYI....PS Amy you are still my inspiration!

  5. Quite the forensic playback. I had the luxury of doing it right outside of Bath & Body Works. *sigh*

  6. I remember in Chicago, LapBandGal was sitting right next to me at breakfast after we did our 5K and I started sliming and sort of stuck. I had to go to the bathroom and when I came back out, she told me she NEVER had PB'ed and I was like "Never?". She told me she almost asked is she could follow me in there to see what it was all about. I about died laughing and I'm glad you were her first, Amy!

  7. You handle yourself well, keep calm and keep a sense of humor! I've just started planning to get the Lap Band (6 mos. from now for insurance approval) and the "getting stuck" stories are the only thing that has me scared. Not just throwing up but this talk about foam and slime. Is it avoidable...or mostly (w. few exceptions) inevitable?

    I would really love to have some new friends follow my blog as I start this journey. I am keeping it "invitation only" for now for online privacy reasons but can add folks with their email addresses. If you'd send it to me at, I can add you so you can view it. I'm in my mid 40s., mom of two, live in the Northeast, and have 80 lbs to lose.

  8. Awesome. I love the silent lapbander prayer...! I do that ALL the time. Um...20 minutes ago in fact. lol's

  9. Oh thanks universe I am not the only one.... I am a big pb'er wish I wasnt but I am!!! Apparently I have a pbing face... Loved your travel tips on Fb xx

  10. This just cracked me up!! Stroke of genius to grab an umbrella bag!! Who would have thought of that?!!? A genius, that's who! :)