Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Food Fight!

My question for discussion today is:

What were your food habits and/or eating secrets that brought you to your highest weight?

This is interesting to think about because for those of us with the lapband who do have some restriction, there are days when we "overeat" and feel like we are failing the band (or visa versa), but when you step back and look at the portions....we are still eating SO MUCH LESS then before.

So here are some of my dirty food secrets and habits.

I would stop every morning for fast food breakfast. And sometimes I would stop at TWO different places. My favorite stop was usually McDonalds. I would order a cinammon roll, a side of sausage, and a breakfast burrito with a large coke.

I would drink pop (soda) all day long. It wasn't unusual to average about 4-6 drinks during my work day.

I would snack on just about everything.

I would always get fast food lunch. Usually I would bring my lunch back to work and it would be a value meal of some kind. BUT, when ordering, I would order an extra hamburger, or chicken nuggets, or taco and eat all of that before I returned to work with my "main course lunch". This was part of me eating in secret.

On the way home, I would sometimes stop and pick up a burger or something that I could eat in my car. This would not be dinner. It would be a little treat.

Then I would eat dinner. I would go back for seconds or thirds. I would fill my plate. I would drink more pop.

After dinner I would eat ice cream or candy.

In the middle of the night, one of my favorite things to do was to sneak into the kitchen and eat cookies or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and chase it with a big glass of milk.

Before I lived with Tracey, it wouldnt be uncommon for me to go to McDonalds at ten o'clock at night and get an extra value meal.

Before the band I had this irrational thought process, and when I went to get fast food I was always afraid I wouldnt "have enough" food. It was like I would ask myself, "Oh my gosh, what if you dont order enough and you are still hungry". This fear is gone now.

Also gone is my fast food breakfast stops, me drinking pop by the gallon, filling my plate to the brim, going back for seconds, etc.

I still have the urge for midnight sweets with a big glass of milk...but my band makes this impossible now. Every once in awhile I still sneak foods. Although now it is not a hamburger or something from fast food...but every once in awhile...candy.

Sometimes people ask me "Well, if you can still gain weight with the band, why did you choose it"? And I think the answers are listed above. Things have changed dramatically in 11 months. I have always said that I think the band gives you a chance to step back and look at yourself and reevaluate your relationship with food. So thank you Tina. I salute you!


  1. Wow, Amy thanks for your honesty. Earlier today I posted a comment on Yanna's page explaining only one of my secret eating habits. In short my husband would travel during the week so I would order a TON of Chinese food - and I would consume all of it. Also, just about everyday I would "go to the bank" for work. This trip sometimes included actually going to the bank, but sometimes it didn't. What was involved in every trip was getting a value meal at Wendy's or Burger King. I did this all the time, order fast food and eat it in my car while driving around and then stop somewhere to get rid of the evidence. Lunch everyday consisted of ordering out or getting fast food. When I moved to NYC my habits pretty much remained the same, only my husband didn't travel anymore - he just worked later at night than I did. So on his late nights I would get a gyro AND a gyro platter (lamb over rice). I would get extra white sauce on both. This was at least once a week, sometimes three times a week right up to my surgery. It is tempting to fall back into that pattern - the truck that I would get my food from is there smelling so good every time I get off the train, but I have not given in yet, thanks to my band :)

  2. Good god. You and I would have been dangerous together if we would have known eachother then. I used to pretty much do ALL of those things! My breakfast food of choice was Jack in the Box though! :) I was actually just thinking about this last night. I saw a commerical for Olive Garden and that used to be one of my favorite places to go to. Looking back, I used to be able to eat 2-3 plates of salads, 3-4 breadsticks (before my meal came) and entire huge ass serving of chicken fettucini alfredo along with another 2-3 breadsticks during my meal to "sop" up all the yummy alredo sauce! There is no way in HELL I would even consider trying to do that anymore and quite frankly it makes me sick to even think about doing that. To think that would be one meal for us.

    It is amazing how far all of us have come in such a short period of time. It is so important for all of us to step away from the number on the scale and look at some of these changes we've all made in our lives. I had such a huge issue of sneaking food, I was OOC (out of control). I rarely do any of those things any more nor do I have a desire to. I think with the band, yes our weight loss can tend to be a little bit slower than other surgeries, but it really gives us time to grasp the concept of our food choices and learn the good behaviors much better.

    I always love your posts! You always seem to read people's minds and put out there in such an eloquent way.

  3. Amy!! we are/were so much alike.. Multiple take-away stops, just for one meal time.. Scoff the excess food before taking your actual meal home or to work then sitting down as if you havent eaten yet.. I so used to do that.. its like a hidden comfort. I need to blog about this I think.. Great post..
    xx Nene

  4. I am right there with you. I loved fast food breakfast and I would eat it in the car on my way to work. Lunch I would get take out or fast food of some sort, sometimes from more then one place, and chow it down at the speed of light. I would often want something sweet after too so maybe a stop for candy or ice cream. I was a big secret eater.

    Sometimes I will still sneak cookies (like that whole Godiva binge) or candy. I will admit, I do miss my fast food binging behavior sometimes. Even though it was terrible, it felt so good while I was doing it.

    Those days are done!

  5. I too would do the secret eating in the car and then get rid of the evidence. Unfortunately I involved my children in the process through the years too! Yikes! Also, alot of times I would eat reasonably throught out the day and then after dinner just start grazing. One "snack" after another. I am sure there were many times I consumed more calories in my late night snacking than I did throughout the whole day....even to the point of pain and misery. Those days are gone for sure. Like you said - even though there are days when I eat more than I should it doesnt even hold a candle to what I could put away in the past.

  6. Amy~You always have such thoughtful posts, unlike the one I just posted. LOL
    Ok...my old habits. I used to stop for a 44oz soda at the gas station and would get 2 taquitos to eat on the way to work. Then when I got to work I'd eat the breakfast I brought. I'd drink another 44 or so ounces of soda at work and always eat a snack a hour after my lunch. When dinner was ready at home at 6 I'd eat two plates full and consider it a snack. A HUGE bowl of cereal and milk, along with some chips and dip were my usual bedtime snack.
    I'd go to Taco Bell for nachos, McDonalds for fries, Wendys for a frosty and Burger king for a chicken sandwich, all in one meal.
    I always used to have the feeling of having to get my "money's worth" out of a buffett, so I'd eat thru the full pains and until I was so full I'd almost be sick. But a hour or two later I was hunting for a snack.
    Wow, writing this down has been eye opening. I don't stop in the morning anymore. I don't eat my late night snack. I don't even go to buffets anymore. You're right, the band changes so much. So I guess on days like today when I'm eating slider foods and drinking with my snacks I should slap my own hand, but also hug myself that I'm not on that nasty downward spiral, but on my way up to a better me. I love ya, thanks Ames for waking me up. XOXO

  7. Thank you guys so much for responding and I hope we get even more responses bc it makes me want to cry and feel like I am normal...lol...well sort of! I just look at you guys and other bloggers and wonder if you guys had secret habits like me. I mean, when I look at other bloggers I think "Oh I bet they never did that"...but it turns out we all did. Very interesting. I can't wait to hear more and THANK YOU guys for letting me know that I am not alone :) As always!

  8. Today I got a call from my surgeon, I thought that I was going to get my surgery date, but instead I got a list of more hoops to jump through. I'm in tears. I just got back to my office after running an errand and going through the drive thru at Popeyes and stopping for a sweet treat, to comfort myself! Then I got back to the office and read your post. You and all of the women on here seam to be so much like me. I have just been so ready to get banded so that I could really be forced in to making some changes. Sometimes I think I'm going to die from my food addiction. I'm also seriously obsessed with TV programs about morbidly obese people. My husband is always asking me
    what gives with that....I tell him that it may not look like it on the outside, but I am one step away from having the EMT's break down a wall to get me out of my house!
    Now, I have to get a psych evaluation, my old one won't do and I have to get stuff from all of my old weight loss haunts and more nutrition. How long will this all take? Can anyone tell me?
    Anyway....Amy, you are so such an inspiration to me. Thank you for your honesty. It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. I just wish that I was banded already.

  9. Tessie-I am sorry that this wait seems like forever. I can't tell you how long it will take for you, but for me, from the time I went to the "meet the doc seminar" to banding it was 2 months.

    The fact that you are still at least moving through the process should give you some hope and faith. Some people get door after door slammed in their face. Hold strong girl. The band will help. It will be worth it.

  10. Amy Your posts are always so eye opening thank you so very very much for always being so honest and open....

    as far as Myself, I use to stop for breakfast 2 HUGE breakfast burritos at Mcdonalds, a Huge Soda to go with it and usually a susage biscut with that as well.

    Then for Lunch I would go get fast food somewhere and get a LARGE size Value meal and then a side or 2 to go with it to hold me over till I left work.Then I would probably get hungry a couple hours later and snack on stuff I had in my desk drawer [a HUMONGUS bag of skittles like a 5lbs bag] and chips and whatever else was around me.

    THEN we would go out to eat at a buffet, and I would eat 4-5plates including desert because I had to eat my $10 worth of food, and go home and either pass out because im so stuffed or stay awake and a couple hours later scour the kitchen for more food.

    I really cant believe that it ever got to this. It was so hard for me to say this because it is so embarrasing. But I know now that I can only eat a 1/2 of a plate [if that] of food when we eat now, I dont "snack", I do have a "problem" with chocolates right now but Im sure that will pass with the holidays passing. But I know that I am in the best health ive been in a lonnnnnnng time [since like elementry school] and although I am a little off track right now Im actually still losing and not really "off" track. I just needed a post like this to make me realize how far Ive come.

    Thank you Amy!

  11. Amy love your post! I was always a closet eater, like if someone didn't see me eat it they would know. But the scale sure didn't lie. My portions were WAY out of control. fast food in my car,hiding the evidence from my hubby! So glad those are habits that we have put in the past.


  12. Amy--Once again thank you for such an honest post. It takes nerve for someone to admit all their secretive eating habits :) We all have/had them. I am relatively new to the band (only 7 weeks out) and I have come a long way. Although some of my old habits keep trying to come back and haunt me. Especially since I have only had one fill and I do not feel restricted at all! My secretive eating habits are mainly just eating late and snacking. I don't do the cokes anymore and I am staying away from fast foods at all costs :) But thank you for this!

  13. Hi Amy,

    I know it must be miserable for Corey. When the mask hurts (especially if it rubs you raw) it makes is almost impossible to even want to wear it!! So I would suggest either some tape or bandages where it rubs badly, at least until the sores clear up.

    As for my food addiction problems. I too ate out a lot! I always got the large size & I never ordered less than a 32 oz drink which I would fill up again during lunch, then refill to take away with me! The only saving grace on that was I only drank Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi.

    However, my real food problems began after I retired & I began my fast decline into Sleep Disorders. I haven't been able to go to sleep before 1 am (rarely at any rate) since December of 2006!! And usually I go to bed somewhere between 2-5 am.

    Now you might wonder what this has to do with my food addiction? Well, since my DH is a morning person, he goes to bed early. Giving me hours to consume my snacks without him (the food police) watching me!!

    I was a hider of food. I would hide my snacks so that only I knew where they were. I could easily eat as much late at night, if not much more than I had consumed during the day!! My food binges were almost always sweets. Like candy, cookies, Little Debbie's snake cakes, etc. So I guess you could say I was a true "closet eater"!! And this was on top of the grazing I did all day long if there was anything in the house that I wanted.

    I still stay up late, but I am in much more control over my snacking since being banded. If I do eat something late, I at least try to make it something sugar free/fat free like Jello or Pudding, or something with protein like Cheese Sticks or Cottage Cheese. I am really hoping that once I get my first fill, my eating at night will stop as well.

    Thanks for the great post Amy!!

    Happy Holidays

  14. Oh my goodness. Amy, you and I would have kept the locals employed if we'd lived in the same town!

    I used to eat so well for breakfast, maybe a granola bar. THEN, on my way to work, I would stop by and pick up a can of Pringles and some other goodies that I would eat ALL of during the day at my desk. BUT, at lunch I would eat a Lean Cuisine, some baked chips and a yogurt to fool all of my co-workers. By the time I was on my way home, I would be starving and I would order an extra value meal, LARGE, and I always tacked on that extra fry or sandwich "just in case" and I always ate it all. Sometimes I would order an extra soda so they would think the food was for two people. I would then have to stop somewhere that had a garbage can outside so I could dispose of all of the evidence. I can't tell you how many times my husband would get into my car and ask why it smelled like french fries...uh, I lied all the time. It was awful.

    It was completely normal for us to get a dozen donuts for breakfast on a Saturday and my husband and I would each eat six- I was hoping that my husband was in denial as much as I was.

    Thanks as always for sharing- it's amazing how we were all killing ourselves slowly with a fork (or our hands!). Here's to a fresh, healthy start for all of us.

  15. OOOOOH such a good post!!!

    My secret food issue was night eating. Shit. Still kinda is...

    I would have a "normal" breakfast, normal lunch. Then 5 o'clock would roll around and I'd have dinner #1, something like grilled chicken and veggies. But, because I always had the same fear of not getting enough I'd convince myself it was okay to have a plate overflowing with veggies. Like to the point where the plate maybe weighed 5 lbs?

    Then around 6/6:30 I had dinner # 2. And on and on.

    Or, once we started getting a little more financially secure we started ordering in/out more often. So between the two of us we'd each order a pizza and I'd get wings. Bear in mind my DH is a long distance runner and can eat a lot because a 20 km run burns almost 15 thousand calories. I, however, was not a long distance runner. I wasn't even physically active for huge stretches of time. I "emotionally" thought I needed a whole pizza because I was worried I might not have enough! So I'd eat my wings first and each time I'd say to myself "next time maybe I'll just order the wings and no pizza" and then I'd eat the whole pizza, or, if I was feeling virtuous, everything except two slices. And I said that to myself for like 5 years.

    And on top of that I had this wacko thing I started about six years ago where I'd overeat before the food arrived in anticipation of eating it. Plus, I was always a little worried I might not get enough.


    Really awesome post. It helps to remember and share.

  16. Oh and I had to add that while I ate all of my pizza most of the time, my DH, who burns crazy calories each week would eat 2-3 slices of his pizza!!!


  17. We all have bad habits to reflect on and my worstest secret food fetish is candy. I recognized it for the most part and every year during Lent, I'd give it up, in hopes that after that cold turkey break, i could resume in moderation....NOPE. I, too, was OOC about it and would seek out the SUPER Targets, because they have the wall o'candy that you can purchase by the pound. It wasn't unusual for me to walk away with $13 or $14 worth on on trip. And, all of it nicely segregated into their own food group bags...jelly bellies and sour balls, chocolate, which mostly included non pariels and whoppers and then the others, like mints and so on. OH, and I'm diabetic...go figure. I only became diagnosed with Diabetes in 2006 though, and I honestly feel it was due to my weight. I lost about 50 lbs and was off my meds in early 2007 for a while. Anyway, thanks to all for sharing and to Ames for asking the hard questions. It's good to OUT ourselves and get honest about our issues.

  18. This is really an interesting topic! For me, I'd eat a big bagel with butter every day for breakfast . . then I'd usually have soup or a salad from Hale & Hearty for lunch. . often with cookies or fruit. Then, I'd have a normal dinner. . a few glasses of wine, and a snack at 10 at night. . usually cheese and crackers, or another helping of dinner.

    This wouldn't have been that crazy of eating, if I didn't do it all the time. I'd also overeat just a little bit at most meals. That is why I put on 10 pounds a year for about 6 years in a row. . . When it's just under a pound a month, it's so easy to let it creep on. And, before I knew it, I was at least 75 pounds overweight.

    Thank you, band, for helping me to break this cycle. I am so grateful.

  19. Great post. My overeating was a little different - it rarely involved fast food, and I NEVER drank regular soda. I remember my Mom's binges often involved fast food, and darn it, I was not going to do that!

    No, my deal was always on a diet/off a diet - so if I was officially "off" the diet of the month, I would just binge on whatever food was prohibited on that diet! Atkins led to bowls and bowls of cereal, mounds of tortilla chips and cookies. After a round of WW I would feast on pizza, knowing that it had a million points per pie. I would eat cheese and nuts and all those high points foods. And if a bag of chips or cookies landed in front of me I just would have no self-control.

    On and off, I was a night eater - especially with sweets - ice cream or chocolate usually. Wanna know what my big night treat is now? My Viactiv calcium chews! Seriously, thats it! I almost never eat "dessert" anymore.

    How much do I heart the band? Let me count the ways....

  20. Thanks for your honesty Amy! I think there were weeks pre band where I would eat McDonalds or Burger King for dinner every night of the week (and 2 burgers, large fries, large coke). Geez I wonder how I got so fat. There was even a period where the staff at McDonald's already knew what my order would be - sooo embarrassing.

    I'm so thankful to the band that these days are over!


  21. Love the post! Tessie - I went to a seminar on Jan 20 and I was done on Feb 10 so just 3 weeks! Hang in there love it will all be worth it! Big confessions - I would have dinner with the kids at 5pm and dinner again with husband at 6.30pm and eat all the way in between. I would have breakfast at home and then eat breakfast again (a pack filled bagel) at my desk, and then morning tea and then lunch and then afternoon tea and chocolates etc etc. My local burger milk bar place (greasy joes) knew my order off by heart (if he had a counselling certificate we probably could have gotten somewhere but as it turned out he was my enabler) if I was going anywhere I would be thinking about the food that would be there and I would always pack food in case there was not enough or the supply was delayed or limited. I would never have my favourite foods in the house cause I knew I couldnt control myself but I ate everything else in sight to make up for it and I never let myself forget. I would eat til I felt sick and when 5 minutes had gone by and I had a little space available I would eat again. I would sneak food from the pantry like no one knew what i was doing. The list goes on but the confessions are over - thank you for the reality check and for reminding of the reason why I LOVE my band - I am FREEEEEEEE!!!! Free from the food obsession prison free from eating til I felt sick and wondering what was next and free from hating myself constantly. Thank you thank you thank you!

  22. Hey Amy,
    Fantastic post and look at all your responses. Interesting to figure out how people all got to the same spot - being very overweight.

    For me I think it started maybe 10 years ago - I stopped taking care of myself and while I would cook good food (for the family) often I wouldn't eat it instead opting for snack stuff - all the time. Chips, chocolate etc. and a lot of it were daily fare.

    Then I grew into a new addiction: 600 ml cartons of Brownes Coffee Chill. This stuff is super strong coffee mixed with lard, lard and lard ...(and I think it was an addiction - I couldn't walk into a shop without buying one and sometimes I would buy two, heck even three to drink all day.)So basically I was drinking almost 2 litres a day of sweetened milk with coffee.

    Then there were the times, for whatever reason Moth and the kids were away:. I would go on a binge: chocolate, chips, Chinese food, biscuits whatever took my fancy. I would eat this until I became almost sick.

    I don't do it any more - ever. I have a half a chocolate bar or maybe 2 rows of chocolate and I've had enough - I don't eat Chinese any more.. and I NEVER drink Coffee Chills. I think some bad habits have def been broken thanks to this band of mine. I never would have thought it possible.

  23. No fast food junkie here......just give me the pantry when I walk in the door @ night for my time of binge eating, followed by the guilt of it all, followed by a nice big dinner to top it off! Those days are over! Can't binge eat like that with the band, still feel guilty when I make bad food choices and big dinners are out of the question now! Love me some band! ;-)

  24. Wow. What an amazing post and replies. Makes me feel less like a freak. I, too, had my share of binges, overindulgences, and freak-outs about there not being enough food. I think that was probably my big thing - always feeling like I had to stuff myself at every meal in case there wasn't going to be enough food at the next meal or food wouldn't be around soon enough. Where did that mindset come from?

    I'm gonna steal this topic idea and write more on my own blog!



  25. i remember rushing home from school and eating slices off the stick of butter. or after school making an entire box of mac and cheese for myself (eating the butter while it cooked).

    as an adult it was nightime binge eating...which i am still struggling with post-band (but to a different degree).

    great topic!

  26. Thanks so much for the last 2 posts as a baby bandster these are great tips to keepin mind as I learn to live with my band. You are an inspiration. Do you mind if I add your blog to my sidebar???

  27. This is yet another amazing, thoughtful post by you. Oh I'll shut up your head is big enough. haha! I've just spent the last hour and a half at work READING BLOGS b/c I've stayed 4 days behind the last few wks. I committed to catching upand by the time I got to this post, I was gonna stop. Well I went ahead and read it and was touched by your words, experiences, and your honesty. I felt I had to read through the comments and see what kinds of paths we all come from.

    Now onto me. I was an "occasional binge eater", not regularly.
    Breakfast was always fast food. I loved it when Mcdonalds did the sausage/egg/cheese bagel and I'd top it with salsa, soooo damn yummy! Literally ordered one every single day from 2006 to mid 2007 (while on WW) when they quit making them. I was livid for months, still am sometimes b/c they are just so damn good. (arkansas mcdonalds still has them and I had 2 while I was back there in october). If I was having a binge breakfast it'd be fast food and I'd do a huge soda, a breakfast sandwich and a burrito. Sometimes I'd do sonic and do 2 huge burritos and 1 toaster sandwich. I loved the route 44 sodas at sonic. If it was a binge breakfast at home, it'd be b/c my mom made biscuits and gravy. Which consisted of me eating 4-5 biscuits w/ sausage and about 3 cups of white gravy poured over them, sometimes scrambled eggs w/ that too.

    Weird thing about me is I'd either have a regular meal or a binge meal. I never did all regular in 1 day or all binge in 1 day. I guess I was trying to NOT binge and just WOULD at some point.

    Lunches for me at work were not fast food but I wouldn't bring my lunch either. I'd order a personal pan pizza or a very cheesey quasadila every day. Then I'd have a thing or candy or a bag of chips a few hrs later. And more soda. I can remember Subway ordering a 12", soda, and chips and still not being full! ugh! makes me want to vomit now at the monsterous portions I could keep down.

    Biggest and worst binges for me involved eating out at sit down restraunts. Olive garden was one of the worst. I'd eat a salad and 3 breadsticks. Order the appetizer w/ fried ravioli and fried motzerella and eat like 3 each of those. We'd order the alfredo boat dipping sauce and I'd have 2 bread sticks w/ that. Then the meal would come, fetteccini alfredo and I'd eat the whole thing, plus a few more breadsticks. I would feel "full" and kinda "stuffed" but now there is just no way. I had olive garden a few wks ago and I had 1/2 breadstick, 1 fried ravioli, 1/3 of kids alfredo order w/ wheat pasta, and 2 bites of salad. that's it! I still got to enjoy all my favorite things just way way way way less!

    Thank you band! I owe my life to the band! I also owe it to myself for the things I've helped myself get through, that the band could not do. The band is not a fix all tool, it's just a tiny part in the whole process that plays a big role in making us THINK!

  28. I can totally see myself in this post! :( I just fessed up to Chris that I bought an extra cheeseburger to eat on my ride home and he said, "I didn't know that!" I just said, "duh.." When thinking back on my old habits I'm pretty disgusted with myself and so very proud of the changes I've made. :) Thanks for sharing, sweetie!

  29. How I got to be fat - here'e the post I put up on my blog after reading Cody's post on "How I got to be fat". It was so compelling to read. Mostly because it felt like she was telling my life, in so many ways...here's her list in italics and my comments.

    Once I started researching the band, I thought I would be a good candidate because I have such a need for fullness and quantity...even when I ate good food, I ate too much of it.

    -Binge Eating
    -Secret Eating
    Binge eating has definitely been a problem, and it is almost always done in secret for me...the first time I remember realizing it was when I went to the bakery with my friend Nicole (who had a host of eating disorders but managed to keep her weight down by exorcise anorexia and purging, which I have never done) and we came out, gobbling our goodies, and turned to each other and asked "Chinese or pizza?"
    Since then, I've perfected my binges. They would usually be solo. Sometimes ordering delivery, sometimes going to the store to get supplies...my binges tended to be carb based...two family sized boxes of Rice-A-Roni, an entire package of pasta with sauce and and cheese, two entrees of Chinese food with extra rice that could each feed 2-3 people. Fried food is also a downfall - I would order 4-5 appetizers from a restaurant, that were all fried for delivery and eat them all. Sometimes I would pretend to be talking to someone in the other room when the delivery guy came, or I would make the order take hold on while I was on the phone so I could pretend to ask my friend what they wanted as a side.
    And is it binge eating if you prepare a good meal, that is reasonably healthy, but ate enough for 4 people?
    As far as secret eating goes, sometimes when I didn't want to eat too much in front of people, I would eat before I went somewhere, or even before my family had dinner, I would gulp down an extra portion before we sat down.

  30. -Snacks for Trips
    I didn't want to be without opportunities to eat. Just two months ago when I went on a trip with BF and his friends I stuck a box of Stella D'Oro Fudge Cookies in my computer bag, so I could have secret snacks that I didn't need to share.
    -Fast food.
    Traditional fast food is not my weakest link - Chinese food is - in NY it is everywhere and it is really good. I've detailed my love for Chinese food already ;)! I ate at McD's or the equivalent no more than once a week, and sometimes not for a while. But sometimes I would get so much - two large Value meals, and two different drinks, so they would think it was for my friend! I know part of this is just because I don't have a car...when I have BF's car sometimes in the past few months, I usually did get fast food. I just went through this paragraph and changed the tenses to past! Felt pretty awesome!
    -Eating super fast. Yes. And in front of the TV
    -Buying bags of chocolate and just sitting in front of the TV and eating it all. A chocolate bar, usually not huge amounts...but the TV, definitely.
    -I hated (and still do hate) 95% of all vegetables. I do like veggies. Also love my carbs!
    -Sauces. Sure. I like to dip and flavor things, but I don't think this a huge deal for me.

    1. Wacky tabaccy...this is not something I do on a regular basis any more, but to be honest, there were a few years in my mid to late 20's where I smoked a lot of pot, got the munchies, ordered food delivered to my house, and ate. In front of the tv. Lather, rinse, repeat.
    2. Food is escape and ritual. I would frequently order/eat the same foods, in the same place (mostly my couch)
    3. Fullness...even if I didn't binge eat, I always wanted to eat until I was FULL. My father would say that it is good to get up from the table still a little bit hungry...I always thought that was crazy...but that might be why my dad has never been more than 20 lbs overweight on a 6'1" frame his whole life (a winter of being unemployed and eating too many pastries with his tea).
    4. Reading/eating...from a very early age, I love to read. And I loved to eat mindlessly while I read. I would go to spend a day at the library, stopping at the store for a large bag of Doritos and a chocolate bar, then smuggle that into the library, find a private chair, and curl up with a pile of books and sneaky nibbles. Or at home, once I fixed food, I wouldn't necessarily concentrate on the taste, but shovel it into my mouth while reading.