Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Food Makes The World Go Round

The funny thing about food...well...I guess it's not really funny because I'm not actually laughing....but shockingly sad to think about is...

My world REVOLVES around food.  This is not a particularly new revelation, but sometimes I find it daunting and overwhelming.  And then, I can't really think logically about it.  Meaning...I can't imagine that there exists a person out there that is thinking about food all the time.  And I know there ARE people like that, like Heather doesn't think about it ALL the time.  But for some people is food really just fuel?

How insane that would be to go a day or...this is crazy talk now...TWO days in a row not thinking about what I want to eat, what I should eat, what I have eaten, how many calories, how it will translate to my thighs...


And I think that is why I go crazy eating.  Isn't that the basis of binge?  Denying yourself until you find yourself covered in cookie crumbs and bacon bits? But even when I operate on the "non-denying diet", you know...what I am doing right now...

sometimes it just gets so overwhelming that I say FUCK IT DUDE!  I am going to eat whatever I want. 

But I can't even enjoy that!  Because the entire time I am thinking about how I am going to SO regret it.


I don't know if I have ever identified as an emotional eater.  But sometimes I get a peek-a-boo at the Amy that may indeed eat of out emotion.  Clearly I eat of of boredom, but sometimes when I feel real glum, or when something "bad" happens that stabs my good mood right in the heart...I think FUCK IT DUDE!  I might as well eat melted cheese and cream filled cookies because my life sucks.

WHY dont I have all the answers!  WHY?!?!?!?!?!

Anyways.  Happy Wednesday friends. 


I hate drinking water. 


  1. Exactly. To all of it. Sometimes I justify eating something bad because I decide that I'm just meant to be fat and unhappy. Healthy. Ha!

  2. You are too funny. You hate drinking water? Really?

    Everyone in my family are food-centric. We get together and while eating breakfast we are planning lunch and dinner. We plan our family days around our meals. Whether we can fit this hike in between lunch and dinner or if lunch should be a bigger meal because it'll be an hour later than normal for dinner. We haven't had Chinese yet, as a group, so therefore, we need Chinese, we say, at breakfast.

    But in my family of food-centric people...they are all thin/skinny/healthy/not-obese-weight-conscious people. So it can be done. I obviously don't know how. I think I must have more of my father's genes than my mother's because if I had my mother's - and therefore this family's genes, I wouldn't have the weight problem. I eat just like all of them. I am as active as all of them. And I am the only one with a weight problem.

    I don't have the answers, either. But I do know setting myself up for binges is a bad thing. I have realized, too, that comfort food is not a bad thing - so long as I recognize that is what I'm eating. When I'm turning to comfort food but trying to deny why I'm doing so, that's when I set up for the fuck it dude crap. Just acknowledging that 'yes, this is comfort' usually means I can contain it to one meal/snack. Do you do that?

    I think I'ma send you an email. I officially think I'm worried about you.

  3. I know just what you mean. I can never imagine what it would be like to not think about food every day. Unfortunately once it starts, there seems to be no going back. If someone ever finds out and tells you how to stop, can you let me know too please.

  4. I hate drinking water too!! And I think I think about food even more now than I did before I was banded. Before band I didn't have time to think about it as much because I was usually to busy stuffing it in my face to think about it.

  5. Yes to all of the above. YES YES YES. I can't imagine my life without it revolving around food. I have NEVER "forgotten" to eat...would love to, tho. Wow, what a world THAT would be.

  6. I feel like I am living and breathing food (literally some days!)....obviously I have a passion for food (not just in a stuff your face kind a way, but in the cooking, food photography, TV shows, blogs and books kind of way). In the early days of the band it just about killed me not being able to eat alot of the food that I was researching or reading I CAN EAT pretty much everything and I feel like I am totally obssesed (in a bad way) about food again and my relationship with it is not good...I think this is going to be a life long struggle for me....I need a good spanking!

  7. Hey Amy, how are you??? Love the pics of you and Heather, and by the way, you look awesome in the black bikini! Forget the turkey legs, no one is looking there (and I have them too),

    So I've been thinking about his issue. This one I have to comment about. My brain has completely changed. Totally. I never understood people who don't think about food. And then ....I became one of them. I can't believe it.

    I am actually annoyed by food! It annoys me! I just want the easiest thing to eat. I could care less about it. I never ever ever binge. I never crave anything. Its freaking bizarre.

    I have become one of them. But....I am still size 10/12. It hasn't made me skinny. Still, I love not caring about food. It is such a gift. Every day, I wonder, when is my band going to give out like everyone else's? Sigh. I hope never. Right now, it is perfect. Food, total non-issue. Exercise, absolute huge part of my life, 4 days a week minimum.

    Is it bad that I think my struggle is over? Hmmmmm

    Love to hear from you, glad you are doing so well

    xoxoxox Gen

    I fee

  8. Sorry for typos, a few glasses of wine in.....

  9. I am sooooo sick of obsessing about food, my weight, everything. It is exhausting. I am so with you on this. xxxx

  10. I think we're all just wired differently and those of us who battle our weight have these obsessive tendencies. Hang in there!

  11. Very important that we all know this, instead of hiding behind the smoke screens I love this post and all the replys, printing a copy now, I am tired of feeling like a failure on any level and understanding that this does, can, and will happen is just part of it, what I do next and not giving up is the most important part.
    On LBT everyone acts so perfect, if I posted (and have) that I was less then perfect I get more slammed then support...not knocking it just ur blog Amy and you have alot of wonderful members(JRD omg that made me laugh "forget to eat" ::::shaking head:::
    btw Amy did your ticker just drop?? you are AMAZING!

  12. Before being banded I was OBSESSED with food. Every Second of EVERY day. Now it's only 2 weeks out of the month. (Hormones) About one week before and during my period, It's horrible and the monster is back. A few days after it's over...I'm totally in control and food isn't an issue. Not hungry, not thinking about until I'm literally starving. I wish it could be like that every day, but to have relief even two weeks out of each month is a huge blessing for me.
    Have you ever talked to a professional? I have and didn't like what he said, (something about 'bariatric patients expecting their surgery to do 80% of the work when it's only designed to do about 20%' - asshole) so I quit going (ha!) but it might be beneficial to at least get in there and do some self discovery. I personally discovered that I'm a lazy asshole that "trains people around me to do what I want, not what I need" like some tyrant, but hey, that's just me. Anyway, you've got the physical part of this lifestyle down, but maaabye there is some truth to the old 'there is a root cause of weight gain, and it's not just loving food.

    Love you and Miss you! I wish I could hug your neck. It's been too long! xoxo's

  13. I miss you... and I really feel you on this post. XOXO *M*

  14. Urgh! I feel ya! You actually made me feel better by posting this.....

  15. My brain is constantly obsessed with food! When I've heard people in the past say "oh I forgot to eat", I look at them with great confusion, much like I would if trying to figure out advanced Calculus. I wish I had a different mind set. I used to wish Anorexia was contagious, and I could just rub up against an anorexic and catch it! Ok, don't hate on me people, it is a joke!

  16. it annoys me too when people allegedly forget to eat. its just as bad as people who claim they don't like chocolate.