Wednesday, June 24, 2009

An Ode to Tina

I have a band named Tina
And she's a saucy minx
Sometimes when I eat to fast or eat to much
I end up over the sinks*
Sometimes she gently reminds me
That if I eat like a pig
I will never rock a smaller ass
And I will always be this big
Sometimes she squeezes my esophagus
And makes me want to cry
But I should have know better and not tried to eat
that wonderful greasy fry
Sometimes Tina forgets her job
And goes on a little vay-cay
Those are the days where I can eat
Anything, in any amount, in any way
For the most part though, we became fast friends
and we skip together hand and hand
As we continue down this road
The wonderful road of the lapband
Will I be a thin supermodel or wear a size six?
Who really cares and who really knows
All I am certain of
Is that I need to go shopping for new clothes
So ladies it's time to celebrate this tube
That hugs us on the inside
Throw back your head, let out a laugh
And enjoy this wonderful ride
*Its hard to rhyme with with me


  1. Funny and talented, you are the real thing, hahaha, good for you Amy.

  2. You are absolutly HILARIOUS, I was CRACKING up when I read this while I was at work. Thank you for always making me laugh!!

  3. Thanks ladies! I have been wanting to do a lapband poem all week...but I had to wait for it to come to me! hahaha...

    Its a payday week. I am in a good mood.

  4. STINKS! (rhymes with minx)

    That was awesome! :)

  5. Winx (ooh crappo spelling but rhymes) with minx too. Ok winks... being politcally correct and all that mumbo. Good poem doll. Had a good laugh especially the work with me bit at the end!

  6. shrinks, I'm sure you can fit that into a poem about lap-band :)

  7. you're amazing! i'm almost bag - missin ya!

  8. Very Cool! That was awesome :-)

    Hi-Jinx (Rhymes With Minx)something mine has playing on me these past few days!

  9. Love it.....made me grin from ear to ear....

  10. Can i name my band tina too?
    lol. this is great!

  11. OK OMG!! I have to comment on this one!!!! I have been reading your Blog journey for the last 2 days and LOVE it! I know I'm a bit late in joining but I must say you are truly an inspiration to many... myself included. I just got the appointment for my first consultation its all set for November 20th. I look forward to joining you all on the other side of the band! Thanks again for being you!

  12. I'm reading through your most awesome blog from beginning to end and this is where I'm at right now...just had to comment! What an awesome poem - totally made my day!

    And minx absolutely rhymes with sinks...just sayin'...