Thursday, April 29, 2010

Brain Spooge

Sometimes, when I am at work, I get these brief and fleeting moments of genius about things I want to blog about. So...I jot a little note to myself. The problem is, I make them cryptic and then when I go back to look at my notes...I have no idea what I meant.

For example:

Filing Cabinets
People Bigger
Sugar
Jumping rope

These are just a few and after I think on it for a little while...I can usually remember. SO, my point is, I have been keeping a running list this week and now we shall discuss.

1. I was watching Good Morning America the other day and do you know how many grams of sugar an average woman should stay under during the course of a day? 25! That's right. 25 grams of sugar should be your max. Do you know how many grams of sugar are in one of my Skinny Cows? 19! So this may be news to no one but me. But I just wanted to share because sugar is a sneaky bitch and you may not know how much you are consuming.

2. Thank you guys for all the comments on my dance skirt! And yes...you dirty minded bloggers...Tracey does enjoy the skirt. And to answer Drazil's question, I do have the red granny panties that go underneath, but I had a thong on instead! And do you know how short those skirts are? For realz! I can't believe they let us where them at school! They are one gust away from making young girls whores! Sweet mother!

3. So, another question was do I get frustrated when people say "You don't need to lose much more", or "I hope you don't get too skinny"? No. I find it funny really that people even say such things. For one thing, I know that I am lucky that I carry my weight relatively well. I think that must come from my mom's side of the family...so thank you Roethers. So, when I tell people "Well, I am still 189"...they either fake disbelief or they are really surprised. God bless em. Also, it is a concern because some weight loss patients do get "too skinny". And look unhealthy. And sadly, they often can't see it. They become "The Crazies". You know...those WLS patients who have gone to the opposite extreme, and at one time recognized this crazy behavior in OTHER WLS patients but somewhere on their journey they BECAME those people. If people think I look healthy and hot at this weight, that is flattering. I hope they can handle me just a little lighter though. Watch yo selves!

4. Along those same lines, can we just talk about how weird it is when you aren't the biggest person in a room, a meeting, etc. In fact, you are actually thinner than at least 1/2 of the people? I mean...it's WEIRD. At 327 pounds, it was a rare day at work that I found someone heavier than me. And now I am kinda normal. WELLLL not NORMAL! When could that ever happen. But you know what I mean.

5. Oh. Something bad happened the other day at circuit. When I get to the lunges station, I jump rope instead. I want to up my heart rate and cardio. So I jump. I never face the mirror. For no good reason really except I want to make sure I dont hit anyone with the jump rope. Well, Monday...I faced the mirror.

Big Mistake. Huge!

Sweet jiggle fatbelly batman! I kid you not. If you could video tape me jumping rope in my tank top, and then slow down the camera, you would think you were watching the wave action from A Perfect Storm. Someone should have told me that every bit of fat from Misses Pubis region up to my boobies moves in a horrible way when I jump rope. And now I don't know what to do! I want to keep jumping, but my girl crush trainer is in there and I have to be at my sexiest at all times! CRAP! DAMN MIRRORS!

What number am I on? I lost count!

86. I have a haircut this afternoon! Whipeee. I am in desperate need my friends. Dead ends, gray roots, faded blond. Mommy needs help. So we shall see how it turns out!

143. Last night at Zumba Mary and I had a blast! During the jingly scarf section of the program, Priscilla asks for any volunteers to wear a scarf. No one volunteered so I screamed and pointed at Mary! I said "Mary wants too". I bet Bandita is glad she didnt go! So Mary got to wear the scarf and for being "volunTOLD", she also got a free pass for the next class. Mary also posted on her blog about how we rub our ports. Like pregnant women rub their belly without thinking about it! I rub the damn thing all the time!

K. Tata gumdrops!

xoxo

Amy

26 comments:

  1. I can't believe you write down notes about that. I have a notebook I carry with me for other lists because I'm anal and I jot one liners about what I want to blog about too and later can't remember what the crap I wanted to say! Hussy....I knew you weren't wearing the bloomers. Oh oh and will you be doing a vlog with your new haircut tonight about how much you love Drazil more than the grass and the sky? I love you mmkkkaayyy?

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  2. I don't even like to see my reflection of me walking because my boobs do this swing thing that, well....it's just gross. So, I feel ya, just don't look and all will be right with the world.

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  3. Hahaha--volunTOLD!!! This was a hilarious post--as usual. I wrote on Mary's site that the fiance and I were looking at a church last night for the wedding. We have to go when they're open; it feels kind of wrong...like we're not there for the right reasons (like the church-going Wednesday and Sunday crowds...although we have gone to several Sunday services too at churches here and yon when we are wedding-church stalking...but we have ulterior motives). Okay, enough wedding talk!! Oh, and I do the lists too!!! :)

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  4. OMG! I rub my port all the time...first checking the swelling and lately trying to feel the damn thing! I've also thought it reminded me of when I was preggers and I'd feel my belly! You guys are hilarious. I may have to ride over to the "other coast" for a Zumba session with you two.

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  5. Have you ever watched anyone else jumprope? Besides Mr. Hard Inflatable Muscles. Everything jiggles and giggles. Think like a man Miss Amy.

    Oh. And your sugar. Do you know how many grams of sugar is in a glass of milk/soymilk/juice?

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  6. I Love doing Zumba with you Amykins! You make it sooo much more funner esp when we do the ultra fast legs that nobody can do! LOLOL

    about the sugar thing thats why I track EVERYTHING I put in my mouth so that I know what the heck is going on. I love myfitnesspal.com its easy and they also have an iphone app that my mom uses too...love it.

    Jumproping is HILARIOUS for me. I laugh the whole time I jumprope when im in the mirror and in my booty shorts NOT PERDY!

    I need my Hair done too...

    i <3 my port baby LOL!

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  7. Fleeting memories of brilliance! Oh that is so my world....

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  8. "K. Tata gumdrops"

    I thought you were going to talk about nipples next.

    ;)

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  9. Just wear a tight tank under your workout shirt & you'll be fine! Will minimize your jigglization! :) BTW, I loved your post on your old uniform -- and you look great in it! It's amazing that you will soon be smaller than you were at 13. WOW!

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  10. Love your post!
    1. SUGAR is EVIL but who can't live without it? Probably a skinny bitch reporting it! RIGHT?

    3. My friend did that once years ago when I lost weight using prescription drugs and that was my ticket to EAT! Again more skinny bitches! They are just jealous!

    4. I always do a weight count when I enter a room. Crap, I thought it was just ME!

    5. There is a girl (stripper)at the gym who practices all her poses in front of the mirror - You have to see it to believe it! I think they finally told her to stop - the guys were dropping their dumbells!

    86. Mamma needs her do done as well! May 13 baby!

    Enjoy your FABULOUS new body and DAY!

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  11. Good Morning America and mirrors are evil.

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  12. Love your posts! Glad to know (altho I did kinda know) that I'm not the only that scans the room/restaurant/wherever to see if I'm the biggest one there.

    Maybe everyone should make a pact and at the annual get-together and each year if anyone is on the verge of "Crazies" they need an intervention. This idea is kind of in jest, but it is a worry that if I gt the band I will go to far.

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  13. I write down blog notes too! Too bad I NEVER actually sit down and blog about 98% of what I write down. Shame. I also take notes as I watch peoples vlogs too (seriously...some of them are long and I can't remember everything).

    I hear you on the not being the biggest person in the room any more thing! I L.O.V.E that feeling. Same goes for just normal people stuff like sitting in lawn chairs with "weight" limits. We were putting our patio furniture up this weekend and the tag said weight limit = 250 pounds and I was like YIPEE! I meet it this year! Even though at 305 pounds I was still sitting in them and they are still alive.

    Anyways....OH! I just put up pics of my new do I got this week! I didn't do any color even though I've been wanting to, but I did get a fun new cut!

    xoxo

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  14. 1) You are a HOOT! 2) This is a great post. 17) I LOVE your blog!

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  15. sooo true on all accounts! I totally rub my port all the time. Like, hand under shirt, no-shame, rub. Funny.

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  16. And I thought I was the only one who rubbed my port... lately I've been trying to get people to feel it - only one has taken me up on it... bummer. Maybe we can have a port-feeling session in Chicago! LOL... okay - I'm a dork.

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  17. I am scared everytime I pass a mirror in my nude glory before the shower. Not pretty.. and very jiggly!

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  18. haahahahahahah...the jigglization! I feel too jiggly doing jumping jacks for Jillian in the privacy of my own home! (now say that sentence 3 times fast).

    I heart the cheerleading skirt! I totally had the same one, except it was maroon and white. I was a cheerleader in high school and tiny then (well, of course I thought I was fat)...

    Anyway, we had this Den Mother/Cheerleading Coach woman who would seriously do a "panty check" before each game - one of the more naughty girls on the squad had once worn no panties under the red granny panties....so she would come by and make sure we were all doubled up!

    Sadly, I no longer have that skirt. I wish I did...but since it was like a size 8 maybe better that the thing is lost!

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  19. The granny panties! I remember those from when I was on Banners and had my uniform. They called them "bloomers" if I remember correctly. Every guy I knew (which I was always a sight on rally days because I'd be in full uniform with the stoners and slackers on the grassy knoll, totally sticking out) flipped up my skirt and was disappointed to see those. Pervs!

    I still have the upper and lower bellies, so when I started jumping up and down about something, they started slapping together the other night. The man made a face and said, "What's that noise?" and I stopped and said it was my belly clapping and to stop complaining about his little soft gut (he once was overweight - ONCE - in his adult life and lost the weight and has kept it off but has that soft "I was once overweight" pouch of skin and it's so small!) until he could do some applause too.

    Skinny men... lol

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  20. Yes, I rub my port like a baby and I try to get my hubby and kids to rub it too. And I STILL touch my collarbones ALL THE TIME! I'm a freak. Oh, and I am sooooo jealous you and Mary live close to each other. Y'all seem like bunches of fun.

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  21. ooooooh, I cut out of cardi kickboxing a few weeks ago because we were jumping rope and my bra was too big and my bubbies were falling out but EVEN WORSE, I could see my loose stomache skin SWINGING BACK AND FORTH UNDER MY PANTS!!!

    My plan is to start wearing spanx to that class. full body spanx.

    speaking of which, my spanx are too big! And those things are expensive!!!

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  22. I just have to say as someone who has taken care of diabetics who have to watch their sugar, they were allowed 30g of carbohydrates per meal (3) and 15g at each snack. Carbs are slightly different than sugar but only in the fact they break down into sugar. I would definitely consider a diabetic diet low carb. So G.M.A. can kiss my A.S.S.

    Also, log my food intake on thedailyplate.com (when I remember) and even cutting out all my junkie cravings and sticking to 3 meals a day with two sugar free jello snacks in between, I still go over the recommended sugar. I really believe in everything in moderation as a bandster....and this is coming from the carboholic with a giant sweet tooth!

    Oh and because of you, I'm also signed up to give Zumba a try. I'm not sure we'll get jingly skirts, but it still ought to be fuN!

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  23. I tried to do jump rope 1 time in the gym...um...yeah I will NEVER do that again- even if I lose a million and 5 pounds. SICK. Hahaha, that was so funny to read- and as far as not being the biggest person in the room anymore- congratulations! Too bad you think it's weird, I actually love it and think it's awesome. Wait until the day you realize you're the smallest person in the room!! You'll love it, I'm sure. In the rare situation that this happens to me, I become very thankful. And yes, I love it- when do we ever get to be the smallest??? you know?

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  24. You are so hilarious...I want to see the new hairdo...I expect pictures tomorrow!

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  25. Congratulations on the weight loss. I'll be interested to hear the study results. My belief is that the best diet is the one that fits best with your personal food preferences. I was always a savory eater, and someone who loved eggs, vegetables, and salads but didn't care as much about fruit and couldn't give up my olive oil, so the South Beach Diet has been great for me. And I've managed to maintain my weight for nearly six years, but with plenty of splurges on special occasions and holidays and quite a few returns to phase one for a few weeks whenever I gained a few pounds.

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  26. Oh I can't believe the amount of sugar in Skinny Cows I love them... Well they are still better than having a magnum... I am so jealous I would love to go to zumba too but i dont think it exists here. I keep rubbing my port like a baby as well it is like my little friend i need to make sure i is okin there. You need to show us a picture of your new haircut.

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