My Digits

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Amy From Before...

Some of you have seen this picture many times on my blog. Some of you are new and didn't go back to the beginning of my autobiography when Tina (my band) and I first became one. SOME of you have gone back and read the entire thing. Bless you. I tried to do it once and couldn't make it!

But I wanted to post these since it's been awhile. When I hit 140 pounds down I will do some side by sides.

This is where I started. 327 pounds...January of last year. A size 26/28 pant. 3x top. 9 wide show. Size 10.5 ring size. I have lost 136 pounds. Where a size 14/16 pant (still not officially in 14's). My shoe size is 8 regular. Sometimes they still don't fit bc I have a very high arch. My ring size is almost a 7. I weigh 191.





It's scary to think where I would be today if I had not chosen to try the lapband. I know there are those among us who are fighting the good fight without the band (Drazil, Keelie, etc)...but I needed this little thing. Tina and I were destine to be.
I look at that girl in the picture and I want to say "KNOCK KNOCK PUDDIN HEAD...Why couldn't you just have stopped?"
I wonder when my heart attack would have happened? When exactly would my heart have failed me? When diabetes would have robbed me of my foot, my leg, my eyesight, or my life. I wonder when depression would have grabbed me and prevented me from loving and living like I am right now?
I will never know the answers.
And that's the way I like it.
Because I don't have to worry about those things now.
There are certainly times in any weight loss journey, with our without the band...that this shit is HARD! The scale doesnt move, you are eating like a nutjob, you AREN'T eating like a nutjob, you are scared this isn't for real, that you will fail, that you will disappoint.
But we learn. And we grow. And one day, without us knowing it even happened, we have changed.
And that feels so good.
If you don't think that change has happened for you. Wait for it. Work for it. Because I know it can. It did for me.
I am a girl from Kansas who grew up bigger than her friends. I am no different than any other person. No super powers. No more or no less will power.
Sometimes the stars align. Sometimes it's just our time to make that change.
Loves you to the moon and back.
Happy Friday!



24 comments:

  1. Awesome and inspiring post as always Amy!!!!

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  2. It is so amazing, the change you have made. I'm so proud of you. You are such an inspiration.

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  3. You're my hero! I often wonder the same things you've mentioned in your post...when would I have been diagnosed with Diabetes, when would I have had a heart attack?!?

    It feels good to be confidently moving in the other direction!!!

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  4. Great post! And a good reminder to just keep on fighting the good fight and we will all get there in the end (wherever "there" is!).

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  5. I needed this post today Amy....thank you

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  6. Just caught up on your last few days of posts. Whew, what a ride. Thanks for being you.

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  7. what a great post!! now i want pudding....

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  8. Awwww. This such a wonderful entry. My highest weight was 327. One day I'll get where you are today, but even though I'm a little over a week post-op it is still hard! I'm 22 and already have high blood pressure. The reason why I got this band is because I'm scared to know what will happen if I didn't lose the weight. You are so inspiring. It is good to see someone that is/was as big as I am being so successful with the lap band! :)

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  9. That really touched me....thanks. The difference is amazing.

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  10. i, too, needed this post. thank you for posting it. thank you!

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  11. Great post as always. Can not wait for the side by sides when you hit 140.. I know you can do it..

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  12. To say you are an inspiration is an understatement. You represent everything the rest of us strive to become! Thank you so much for continually reminding us of what this journey is all about:)

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  13. Holy shit...you're my hero too. I'm one of those who went back and read you from beginning to end. You helped me decide to take this journey and you never even knew it. You are an inspiration to me and everyone who follows your life. What struck me the most about your post (besides the courage it takes to share to the degree you share) was your beaming smile. You will radiate JOY no matter what your size. Thank you...for being you.

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  14. You are such an inspiration Amy! I needed this post right about now...thanks.

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  15. now its my turn to be pms'ing...this post stood out to be ames...i don't know what it is, but this one has be in tears. I love you pretty princess, thank you for always being there for all of us! xxoo

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  16. beautiful post ames. I've been here from the start, remember when those were current pics... and I cannot believe the wild ride we've taken. You're amazing!

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  17. I Love You Amykins!!! such a inspirational post. My mom is reading yours now [because shes getting her band] and she probably will cry LOL.

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  18. Yes I cried... *sniff* thanks a lot Amy!! LoL I love your blogs. I'm gonna go back to the beginning and read 'em all...

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  19. Are you kidding???? You so do have a super power. Sssuuuuper Amyyyyy who fights evil with her super positive attitude, huge smile and perky cuteness. These are not everyday atributes I can assure you. You're sharing it around too which cheers up our day. ;0)

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  20. Shit, you have me in tears here. This has to be the most heartfelt, honest, and inspiring post ever. I think I am going to bookmark this one to keep coming back to. How can we explain to someone why we couldn't do this on own when we don't even know and probably never will. I am so glad that you are young and will have many years of healthy happy living!

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  21. I needed that, Amy. I needed this post, today. Change DOES feel so good.

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  22. Your blog is just so great. So inspiring! Thank you!

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  23. Holas~ Just stopping by to let cha know I am still here hehe! I started reading your blog since post 1 a couple of weeks ago, but then got sidetracked to read Zara (?) blog since she is from Ventura too. And so now I am back and hoping to finish reading your blogs by the end of the week. :)

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