A Post So Long It Should Be A Mini Series

Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? I have not. But I have always wanted to. And I have decided that someday I will. I don't know why I just bolded all of my I's. But I guess it's because I thought it would be fun.

You see, although I HATE to say this...the fat Amy would never have ridden a mechanical bull. I know. I know. Is this the same Amy who preaches about fat not holding you back? YES. But in my defense, I was never presented with the opportunity as a fat girl to ride one, so I might have. But, probably not. I would have been worried about people making fun of the fat girl on the bull. I see the opportunity for an easy fat cow joke.

So, put mechanical bull riding on the list.

Have I ever told you how I have a love obsession with butter? I do. When I butter a piece of cornbread or muffin...sweet dairy farm...I load that sucker!! At restaurants when they bring that little baby one ounce cup of butter with the rolls...I am always confused why they didnt bring some for the rest of the table. Clearly, that little tub is for me and my one roll. Luckily, I don't eat bread much anymore. But when I do...stand back.

Also, the discovery of what I assume is my tailbone has not been a good one! We do these ab exercise at bootcamp where you sit in an upright crunch position with a medicine ball and twist back and forth...and it kills my tailbone! How do you skinny people do it? I don't know. I injured my tailbone again last night whilst sitting on the dresser...don't ask. Don't tell.

I had a great week with weight loss. 4.5 pounds! That my friends, I will take. Yesterday the scale said 194.5 (the official swimsuit weight loss challenge) and today it said 195.5 (MY official recording weight day). So I am pleased and chugging right a long! I am at a very Zen place with my weight loss and eating right now. This phase comes and goes, so I enjoy when it visits. When I am experiencing this wonderful phenomenon, I pay attention to my actual hunger. I cut back on grazing. I drink water. I work out. All is right with the world.

Namaste.

Speaking of good resting heart rates (oh...wait...we weren't talking about that were we)....I went to the doctor the other day. I was in need of a new general/family doctor bc mine up and left over a year ago! I found a new one and I really like him! I had to go bc I had a lump in my groin, right along my pantie line. Do you know you have lymph nodes there? I didn't. And do you know what you find when you google lump + lymph nodes in your groin? Nothing good. Scary google information. So I went to have it checked out and it is in fact my lymph node, but just a little infection and nothing more! ANYWHOOOZLE, my doctor was so impressed with my resting heart rate (below 50 he said). He also said "you must exercise a lot". To which I said "Why yes...yes I do". He read from my paperwork that I had lapband and was very proud of my weight loss. I get a little nervous telling other docs about the surgery bc sometimes docs have strong opinions about such things. So back in a week for some bloodwork and then back in 2 weeks for my annual lady station tune up! Good times.

Oh my gosh. When did this become the longest post ever?

Moving right along.

I have been excited (Amy shakes head in confusion at what she is typing), yes...actually looking forward to working out today! MWF we do our bootcamp/circuit training. And on Wednesday's I dash from circuit to Zumba. I have to be honest and tell you that there are a lot of days that I would go home and park myself on the couch if it wasn't for Tracey loving workout time! He makes sure I stay on track. But to actually find myself looking forward to working out is strange. And it has taken one year and 2 months for this to happen. So be patient. Someday it may happen to you!

Several weeks ago I was carrying something into the house on my side...a little above my hip. And it was pressing on something hard. Do you know what it was? It was my oblique! My side muscle! And even though I can't see them yet, I can feel them and they are HARD!

Yes, I believe that I underneath my protective outer layer of insulation, I look like Pink. And I wanted you to know this. Because you too may have a Pink, Fergie, or Gwen Stefani ab section living in you.

Are you still reading? Because I am not done yet.

Today I ran to Kohls on my lunch break to find pants. I found my current size 16's there. Well, they are too big so I was in search of some 14's. Guess what? The 14's are still a little snug in the thighs, and some created the dreaded camel toe. So, no work slacks for me. I am down to one pair of black slacks that Nicole sent me. I have one pair from Mary that I need to have taken up, and one beautiful white pair from Nicole as well that are a few pair from fitting. Guess I will have to wear my dresses for awhile! I am not discouraged though. I will find some pants. All in due time.

While I was at Kohls though I did something. Something very, very, monumental. I grabbed the pair of shorts that have been my goal shorts since preband. The shorts that I spoke of a few posts back. THE NIKE SHORTS~! So I slipped them on, built in panties and all. And they fit! Yes ma'am and yes sir they did. However, just as I had feared, my crotch wanted to gobble them up as soon as I started faux walking in the dressing room. They wanted to work themselves right on up. But I took a picture. Just to documents this occasion.

It just may be that I may not ever be able to wear short shorts. And that would not be the end of the world. We will just have to stay tuned to see if and when my inner thighs ever decide to shrink. They are bad. The good thing is, there is still a lot of fat there, so maybe they will tighten up a little. I mean come on though... how many plie' squats I do while holding a dumbbell do I need to do? Here is a precious little diagram of the squat. I hold a 45 pound dumbbell.
You see that purple shirt I am wearing? Banana Republic thank you very much. Dark purple. Here is a closer look. I am bent over in this picture. That is why you are getting a peek-a-boo at the cleavage. I am a lady!

I was reading Keelie's blog today. Whenever I see pictures of the beautiful Keelie I think..."Wow, I can't wait to be thin like Keelie one day". And then today she posted her weight (she wasn't keeping it a secret, I just don't pay attention sometimes) and it is 192! Just a few pounds less than me. AND THEN, I asked her how tall she was, because I figured she must be like 6 foot or something...and she is only 5'4". Like me. So we were emailing and she was thinking that when she saw my blue shorts the other day she wished she looked like me! Do you see where this is going? What if we are living in some parallel universe and we are ALL really hot supermodels but we don't know it?

It's like the Weight Loss Twilight Zone! (cue Alfred Hitchcock music).

One last thing. For those of you that have been with me since the beginning of time...or those of you who have read my entire blog (bless you. for real), you remember last April when I did my first 5k. Well, it is that time again, and come Saturday, we are doing it again. I am a walker and I can't wait to beat my time from last year and then do a comparison post with pictures and times and everything fun! It really is a wonderful 5k. It is small, on the beach, and benefits rape crisis victims.

And that my friends concludes this broadcast of the longest post ever! Thank you for reading. I think there still may be enough time in your day to cook dinner or watch TV. If not. I apologize. And I love you.

Go in peace.