Friday, May 23, 2014

Banded 5.5 Years: Where I Be

This is my friend, and Sugarmama, Higgie.  Heather condones her as my Sugarmama...and thus...took this picture.
For those of you interested in lapband related news, or news pertaining to me and my little old lapband...this post is for you!
So far so good.  Things are plugging along quite nicely.  I have not had a fill since March of last year and honestly, don't know if I need one.  Well, let me take that back.  I probably do need one as I can eat larger snacks than I should, but my restriction level is pretty good at meal times.  I still have to eat slow, put my fork down, and can't eat tons.
However, at snackie snackie time, which for me is practically all the time...I can shovel 2 pieces of toast down my gullet at a nice clip.  Or cookies.  Or chips.  I fall off the wagon a lot.  But that certainly is not the bands fault.  I ended the last weight loss competition here at work on April 1st, losing somewhere around 27 pounds in 3 months...taking me into the 150's.  Well, after that I decided I would celebrate.
And celebrate I have done...
For the last 7 weeks. 
Someone tell me WHY it takes forever to lose weight but just a few moments (or months) of pleasure to gain it back? 
(*&(V*E B B#!**!!
Regardless, I am sure I will get back up on that sad healthy food wagon soon.
I better, or else I am going to blow the ass out of my slacks.
Why have I not had a fill?  The main reason is that MY doctor, Dr. Friedman, retired to take care of himself and hopefully kick his cancer into remission.  And I don't want another man poking me.  I heart him.  I tried to tell him via Facebook he could come and give me a fill in my garage on a folding table...but something about ethics and legal mumbo jumbo prevented him from doing so!  I have not met the new doctor.  I am sure he is FINE...
And probably someday I need to suck it up and go back in there.  And I will.  I will.
Weight wise I am around 178.  Pants size I am in 10's...but barely dudes.  My jeans right now are 8's...but that's because Maurices knows how to make their customers feel good!
Some questions I have gotten recently: 
Will you ever have it taken out?  Answer: Not by choice.  If something were to happen with the band, then out it would have to come I guess.  But I still rely on it, everyday.  And so far (knock on wood), my band is happy and healthy.
IF something did go wrong with your band, would you get another kind of weight loss surgery? Answer:  Oooh, it's kinda hard to answer that I think, until you are faced with that decision.  I would not get the Sleeve...for personal reasons possible not linked to fact or science...but I would opt for nothing if that was my only option.  I don't know if I would get Gastric Bypass.  That would be a very big decision...and one I would have to think about a lot.  I would like to believe that I could work hard enough sans surgery to keep myself where I am...but the fear of getting too big again is always there.  Let us hope I don't have to make that decision.
Does that port sticking out bother you?  Answer:  no.  I hardly ever think about that little guy anymore.  Before Dr. Friedman retired he had told me that he could put in a low profile port (I still got the big model), and when I was going in for my new boobies and thinking about a tummy tuck...Dr. Patterson had mentioned that maybe he could put in a low-profile.  But for now...I got my port baby.
Do you think I should get the band? My dudes, that is something only you can answer.  What I can say if the band changed my life.  I am thankful for it everyday.  I wouldn't change a thing and I would do it again.  But the band is not for everyone.  I have to work hard everyday to try and keep myself from drinking my weight in soda, eating my weight in junk food, and staying active.  The band does not fix your brain...but it can give you a chance.  You know those bowls they make for dogs to help slow them down from eating too fast?  That's the doggie version of the band.  It is just a tool.  But one I love.
I know someone who had WLS and they went crazy.  I don't want to go crazy.  Will I go crazy? Listen, my response to that is...we are all crazy in one way or the other.  And yes, there are some people who, once losing a lot of weight...well their crazy gets a center stage broadway show.  From my extensive training in counseling (which I have had none...other than the therapy session called life)...I find the ones that don't mentally handle the weight loss well were the ones who did not choose to live their lives the way they wanted when they were fat.  Does that make sense? 
Any other questions?  You can always holler at me!
xoxo.  kisses.

Playing Hard To Get...

You know, in real life, I am not very good at playing hard to get.  Sometimes, when Heather sasses off that I do not have the ability to play hard to get, I decide I will teach her a lesson...but that lasts about 4 minutes.  I am weak.  But I would like to say that in the blogging world, that my m.o. here is that the less I blog, the more you will appreciate it when I DO blog.  Yes?  No?

I know. 

As always, I think about clever little things to share with you all the time.  It just turns out, I never sit down to actually put keys to board and turn my thoughts into words. 

So let us start with some of my most recent thoughts.

1.  Swimsuit Season

I do realize that some of you live in locales that have "seasons"...where one cannot wear a swimsuit all the year round.  I seriously envy you.  I miss seasons.  However, I guess the official swimsuit season is upon us...regardless of where we live (let's pretend we are all residing in the US at the moment...).  Heather and I were at the beach the other day and I was on my beach towel, in my bikini, all 179 pounds of me, stretch marks...cellulite...boob scars peeping out from the triangle bikini top...and do you know what I was doing?  Judging.  Yes, I was talking about other people's bodies and their attire choices. 

And then, the irony of that hit me and I said out aloud "Who am I to be talking about people's bodies?"

Crazy isn't it?  I suppose it makes us feel better about ourselves.  And as I reflect, it was really about their choice of swimwear...but then again...if they want to flaunt what they got...who am I to judge?   I certainly flaunt what I got and it aint that pretty!  I just thought it was amusing, in a not so amusing way.

2.  Shirtless Races

Along the same lines of "where do I get off", I did something in one of races a couple of weeks ago that I didnt think that I would ever do.  Half way through the race, I took my shirt off.  You see, what had happened was...I had not wore this particular WonderWoman top whilst racing before.  And about 6 miles in, after several mud baths and other water obstacles, it was falling off.  Straps be falling down.  Amy be getting angry.  Mainly because there we were 6 miles in and there were over 4 miles left and I hate running with a passion...but I blamed my anger on tiny spaghetti straps.  So I took it off. 

This left me in a sports bra for the remainder of the race.  And I was so self conscience.  Well, on a scale of 1-10, 1 being "I'm an underwear model" and 10 being "I would like to bury myself in a hole", I was probably a 6...but still.  I was well aware of my lack of top for the remainder of our time. 

This was my outfit before...
And this is was what I looked like at the end.

You see what is going on there? You see that stomach lapping over?  I dont know if you do or don't, but it's the first thing I notice.  We are often our harshest critic though aren't we?  But let me tell you something awesome about this picture...something that a lot of people who saw this probably didn't know.  Superhero Scramble decided to use a similar picture of both Rachel and I on their website and in some of their promotional materials...mainly bc it is pretty badass that you have two chick helping each other.  Usually there is a dude pulling a girl up.  Not that day buddy.

This is the picture they used.

(notice my weight loss arms?  I do.)

Anywhoozle, what really DOES give me pride is that both of us in this picture are products of WLS.  Me the band, Rachel gastric bypass.  Here are two girls who once would have never been able to do this...and now...we can, we do, we did.  I wrote about it on Facebook...that it was being at the end of a ski rope, unable to hold on long enough to get on top of the water, that was one of the turning points in my journey towards getting the lapband...and now...because of the lapband and alot of working out...I can not only get up on that ski rope, I can climb all sorts of rope and hold my weight.  And mama still has a lot of that is saying something.