- Do you ever get stuck and find that when you fart...it eases the pain just a little? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever look at your hand held shower head and think of the possibilities? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever imagine that the button in your car for your hazard lights is really a button that once pushed, launches a missile from under your car, blowing up the car in front of you? No? Me neither.
- Does Martha Stewart ever make you feel like your a domestic failure because you don't know how to use a jig saw to make a relief portrait of an owl on your pumpkin? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever hate wearing a thong for the simple fact that you must be a meticulous wiper? No? Me neither.
- Do you still fear that a good nostril clearing sneeze might also clear your bladder? Just a wee bit? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever just feel like standing on a table in the middle of your office with a sign that says UNION...just like Norma Ray? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever have a naughty dream and wake up so horny, that you want to sit on your partners face without even waking them up? No? Me neither.
- Do you ever think you should have more boundaries in what you post about on your blog? No? Me neither!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
But I guess I was surprised because I didnt really care that much about the couple pounds I was up, or the fact that I have not been eating well lately.
And then it happened...
Amy had to stop and say...wait...SHOULD you care? WHY don't you care? Maria sent me a FB message basically asking me what was going on...
And this is a list of possibilities:
1. It could be that I am not freaking out because I have a consistent pattern (is that a double positive?) of going off the grid once in awhile and getting back on.
2. It could be that I am just tired. Tired of thinking about making the right choices.
3. Perhaps, there is nothing to worry about at all. This is just life. Just a brief moment in my eating life that will come back around.
or 4. (here comes the deep thought). I have said before that for me, eating and binging, was very much like the "control" aspect of anorexia or bulimia. When I felt powerless in my life, I could "control" how much I ate. The difference being of course, I was controlling the amount by NOT eating or by puking after a binge, I was controlling the amount by choosing to put large amounts of crap food in my body. I could choose to hit every fast food restaurant. I could choose to eat oreos and ice cream for breakfast. If I felt out of control with my finances, my work, my relationships...
I could eat. I was the boss of eating a lot.
I know that for most people, they would say, "Well, if you were overeating, you were OUT of control." But I want you to really think about it.
So when Maria asked me if there was something going on in my life that might have spurred this change in food choices, it was an eye opener because I think she is right.
The month of October was been a tough month for me, although you really wouldn't have noticed it on my blog. I am good at talking about my highs and lows as they relate to this band journey, but seldom talk about real life stressors. Usually though, I don't have real life stressors that hang around for very long. Usually I can squash those feelings or thoughts within 24 hours. I have been having a time at squashing them.
And because of this...I don't sleep much anymore. I go to my teary place rather quickly. I am super touchy and a little needy.
I don't like it. I don't like being that Amy. It's not my norm. And I know that I can choose my attitude. At least I think I can.
So perhaps all of these things have led me back to eating whatever I want. But at the same time, I don't feel like I am standing on that proverbial cliff...and that I am about to freefall back to fatland. I don't. Because I know I won't. Things are getting better. This weekend fueled me with good gas (eloquently put yes?). I feel a little lost at times...but not all that wander are lost.
And while I almost NEVER blog about work, I will say that currently...things are a little disappointing in that area. And this quote I put on facebook the other day pretty much sums up where I am at professionally, "She packed up her potential, and all she had learned, grabbed a cute pair of shoes and headed out to change a few things."
So there you have it. The "non" story behind the meat. And nots to worry my little care takers...I tried to eat a hamburger on Saturday...and no ma'am. My band wasn't having it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
That was pretty much the end though.
I ate an entire hamburger, with a bun, at a relatively quick pace...and I could have eaten more. It was exciting bc I have missed eating a hamburger more than anything else...but it was a clear indicator that I do indeed need a fill.
What I went on to say in the video, because I talked forever before I realized it wasnt recording, is that I need Dr. Friedman to make a blogger account...possibly with screenname HotDoc (just a suggestion), and he can tell me when he will be back from leave so I can go get a fill asap.
Because not only can I eat practically what I want, I am hungry again. Real hunger! And I am up at least 5 pounds. Which isnt horrible, and isnt real fat weight...but still.
And here is the real issue I wanted to bring up. Once you get to goal weight, or look like you are "normal", people will start to say... "So, you gonna have it taken out now?" or "You don't need it anymore right?" OR "Well, you don't need a fill. You can just watch what you eat". This is true...I could try.
But I am going to tell ya'll something...
I didn't have weight loss surgery to "tough it out". I had weight loss surgery because I have a problem. And although I have lost 160 pounds, I STILL have a problem. And yes...I know better and I do better...
But my friends...now that I know I can eat a hamburger...do you know what I want?
So, I will continue to use my band as the incredible tool it is. BUT...until I get that fill...I am going to enjoy myself!
Spank me if you must. But judge not.
Friday, October 22, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Last night Heather and I went to meet our friend at Mellow Mushroom, a yummy pizza chain. Fresh off of my "I have no restriction high"...I snarfed down a piece of pizza. And then another piece....even though at that point I was kinda full.
IGNORE THE BAND AND YOU WILL PAY A PRICE MY FRIENDS
So, I gots my 2 pieces down and was overfull, but I knew if I gave it enough time, it would move.
Un problemo was that during chow time, a male coworker and his brother showed up. They wanted to buy us a drink. SO, a shot of Patron is what I picked.
Knock Knock Puddin Head...
Well, the bartender must have been feeling extra generous because the shot was HUGE. So I snuggled my port baby up to the bar and threw the shot down my throat.
*cue everyone laughing at my tequila face*
Well, within 20 seconds I knew that Mr. Tequila was just sitting on top of the food I had shoveled in. So basically, it was only a sparrows fart away from the back of my throat. I told Heather, as calmly as I could so as not to arise suspicion, that I had to pee, and that I would be right back. I walked at a normal pace out of the bar area, all the while thinking "I'm not going to make it at this pace." But what was I to do? Run in a restaurant. UH...NOOOO.
So after I was out of their sight, I started speed walking to the bathroom. People in booths were a blur. Except for one chick that was staring at me...I think she knew.
With about 15 feet to the bathroom left...I threw up in my mouth.
Hot tequila and sausage.
Oh. My. God.
I threw my hand over my mouth and busted threw the door. I may have temporarily blacked out bc I don't remember the next few seconds. But I Exorcist puked on the rug, and then made it to the sink. The sink was some sort of space age waterfall that was motion activated and I couldnt get the damn water on. I then frantically looked for paper towels and of COURSE, they only had some Jetson's like hand dryer made by Dyson...so no paper towels to clean the floor, the sink, and myself.
Well, I wasnt done because the taste of tequila in my nose was making me sick all over again. I ran for the handicap stall and puked in the sink. Turns out THAT sink was normal, but the drain just had those little holes in them...so it was clogged. NOW, I was in luck, bc the handicap stall had regular paper towels. I got one little piece and went for more...
Low and behold...it had run out of damn paper towels.
So I had to do the unthinkable. I had to use toilet paper to clean the sink out.
I do not like wet toilet paper. In fact, it makes me ill. But I did it.
And with my bloodshot eyes and messed up mascara, I walked back to the bar. I was trying to make small talk with people at the booths...just to distract them from what I had just done.
As I walked up to Heather and Stephanie, I caught Heather giving a demo of the band and my hole size (ooh...that sounded dirty) to Stephanie. They both turned and looked at me.
Heather said, "Did you get sick babe?"
And I said yes and began to regale them with the story.
It was terrible.
But it sure was funny!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Regardless, when does that ever stop me?
Yesterday I went poop.
And I swear, although I didn't get a hand mirror, that sucker came out breech. Sideways. Backwards. Width-wise. I don't know...but I had to quit mid push. And I resigned myself, through tears and beads of sweat...that I would just change my address to 123 Toilet Lane.
So then I remembered a passage from my friends book (the great Dalia Lama), when he talked about monks being able to meditate and focus while sitting in the snow (and couldnt feel the pain)...so I tried to do that myself.
So I briefly thought about the finger sweep method I learned years ago in CPR...you are supposed to use it to clear a throat...but hey...
Then finally, gravity helped out and the episode was over.
And because Heather doesn't like to talk about poop...you get to read about it.
Now, the point to this story (YES, there is), is that I believe that they should better prepare you for the change in your bowels after surgery. 21 months later, making business is still not the same.
Just so you know.
Happy Tuesday my friends! And as the old irish saying goes, May the wind always be at your back, the sun on your face, and your bathroom experiences pleasant!
Monday, October 18, 2010
In no particular order:
This weekend we went to Defuniak Springs to relax and enjoy Heather's people. We had a fantastic time as always, although I didn't get to shoot a gun. There is always next time. I got engaged to Heather's five year old nephew (cousin...but he seems more like a nephew). He gave me a pink ring silly band. And it's official. We told him that because Heather and I can't get married in the wonderful state of Florida (and over 40 plus close minded states), and since I was dying to become a Gainey one way or another...that he would have to marry me. He agreed. With one stipulation.
He will marry me in 15 years...if I "work some of my fanny off".
I told him the engagement was off.
Sugar and Sneaky Snacks
Well, as I have shared with a few of you...Amy has been a bad girl this last week or so. I have consumed gargantuan amounts of sugar...usually in the form of chocolate. So, this week I am trying to steer clear of that sweet succulent goodness. And I just ate lunch and now I want a shot of Snickers to end it.
But, in addition to eating these bad foods...I have been eating them in secret! Hiding wrappers, shoveling things in my mouth.
But I am okay. We all have our moments...
Remember when I hid in the bathroom stall at work and at an Otis Spunkehiemer muffin? Can anyone say low point?
Blogging for Real People
Draz was bloggin about being an anonymous blogger and how I, like many of you, am NOT. I will say, it's hard business when "real" people read your blog. And by real, you know I am not implying you are fake, but instead referring to the people that will now walk in my office and look for my candy bar wrappers hidden in the bottom of my trashcan. It's harder because people want to help in your real life, and sometimes you aren't asking for help.
It's also harder because I like to post pictures of me-self in my undies so you can see how the bod is holding up (or saggin down), and it's a wee bit odd when I know my coworkers will see. But really...if work allowed me to hang out in my undies...I might just do it.
Pencil Skirt Power
You remember that pencil skirt I got a couple of months ago? The one that made me feel like one hot sex kitten? Well, it was a size 14...and now...its a size loose. And a pencil skirt only works when it fits like a glove. WELL, for my Halloween costume, I needed another one. I tried on a size 10. It fit just fine. Looked good sans power panties. BUT, I wanted it to fit if I lost a few more pounds. And I wanted it snug. So I bought a size 8! Yeah. So now Operation Fanny Loss has commenced. I have 12 days to lose a few LB's. I would like to be able to sit at the Halloween party. But really...sitting is a tad overrated dont you think?
I forgot to tell you! I lost my restriction. I can't find it anywhere! I had it in Chicago and now *poof*...it's gone. Friday I ate...wait for it....
Wait for it...
4 pieces of hand tossed pizza! Down the hatch. No problem. I could have eaten 5. Saturday I ate 3 pieces. The other day I ate an entire chicken quesadilla. No problem-o. So anywhoozle, I probably need a fill.
But I am not going to get one. I am going on a "diet" for the next 12 days. And then, when Dr. Friedman gets back (he is out of a few weeks), I might see where I am at hunger wise and go get a little poke. For real...I am not paying my copay for a fill if I don't get to see Dr. Friedman! I hearts him.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I believe the topic for discussion is in relation to body image, children, dieting mothers, mother's with food issues themselves, etc.
Now, clearly...I do not have children. I hope this doesn't discredit me in anyway. Because, shockingly, I was a child once with food issues...who had a mother.
So here goes.
I was not fat as a kid. Although I sure thought I was. Here is a picture of me when I was around 8. I am the one with the mullet that I had begged my mom to let me have.
I was not as small as my friends, but I wasn't fat or unhealthy. I thought I was a whale. I hated my body. I remember I would measure my upper thighs with my hands, seeing how many hand lengths it would take to make the circle. For those of you who have read the beginning of my blog, you know my earliest memory of being fat was from around the age of 5, when my brother told me my ass had cellulite. I remember my mom's diet books. I remember always feeling like I was bigger. That's why I had to be funny. That's why I had to be the class clown. That's why I had to be the people pleaser.
Somethings never change.
And now when I see really obese (and I am talking obese) children (and by children I mean those too young to drive themselves to fast food), I look at the parents and think "What the hell dude"?
At some point, parents enable their kids right? And Lord I can only imagine how hard it is to create a healthy environment when you have a husband, work, kids, soccer practice, work, and a million other stressors. Healthy eating takes time and it comparatively more expensive then unhealthy eating.
So, I look back at my childhood and try to figure out how I went from an average kid to an overweight tween. Our house wasn't stocked with loads of crap. In fact, I always wanted my mom to buy more crap. We never had sugary cereal for example...just things like Rice Chex, Rice Krispies, etc. We were from the midwest though, so our meals were very red meat and potatoes. My mom ate salads, but she didn't (and still doesnt) cook with fresh veggies, spices, flavor etc.
This has been one of my joys after getting banded and finding a better way to eat. There are so many things out there that I had never tried. We never had the "healthy" choices growing up.
My mom was never skinny when I was growing up, but she was never fat. I don't remember who being negative about her body in front of me. I don't really remember her going on diets. She never called me fat, never made me feel fat. My parents always loved me for who I was. In all honesty, if they had pushed me...it probably would have been worse. You should also know that I am third, the youngest, and the best child. lol...this makes a difference because my sister, at 16 years my senior, had very different parents. They were young. My mom was skinny. And according to my sister...always on her about her weight or dieting. By the time I came along, my parents were in their late 30's and we are all a little wiser in our 30's right?
One of the greatest gifts my parents gave me growing up was the gift of "doing". I was always doing something. Playing outside, swimming, skiing, softball, basketball, dance, gymnastics. And for the most part (maybe minus softball and basketball...see...goes to prove I may never earn my lesbian membership card) I loved all of those activities. So even though I might sneak the occasional twinkie or cheese slice...I was active.
So, I guess I really started packing on the weight when I started to make my own money (around 14), and when I could drive (around the same time). I would buy food. I would buy lots of food.
Somethings never change.
So I guess what I am saying is, I didn't need my mom to tell me or make me feel like less of a person...she never did...but I felt that way anyways. I didn't need my mom to feed me bad foods. I found them on my own.
With that said, things are even harder for our girls now. When I was little, sure...I remember wanting to grow up and look like certain movie stars (basically I just wanted to BE a movie star), but I don't remember being inundated with the unrealistic ideas of beauty like kids are today. And little kids are smart. This is Sissy. My brother's girlfriends daughter. I love her like peas love carrots. She is a princess. She could be mine.
She is healthy. She is by no means fat. She is 5 years old. But she will stand in front of a mirror in bikini and pinch her "fat" and say she needs to go on a diet. You know why? Because she has seen her mommy do it. And her mom probably never thought about Sissy watching her. But they watch don't they? And they want to be like us. Or NOT be like us.
So what is the answer? Who knows. If I ever have a little girl, I would want her to know that she is beautiful. I would want her to know that being healthy is important. And health is not synonymous with being skinny. I would want her to find activities that make her happy. I would strive to put and offer healthy choices on the table. I would teach her how to cook. How to enjoy food. I would try not to have junk easily accessible, but teach her that once in awhile...a little junk ain't so bad. I would move my body with her. Go for walks. Go to Zumba. Dance in the living room. I would let her see that I am comfortable in my own skin...even though my own skin is saggy and damaged. I would let her see that no matter what, no matter what size your jeans are or how many stretch marks you have...she can LIVE. You can have friends, be a cheerleader if she wants, dance, laugh, date. She can hold her head high and love herself. That's my hope for when and if I have a youngin. I would just do the best that I could do. And I would love and support the hell out of them.
Holy barbecue smokies...I did ramble didn't I?
Again, the only thing I know for sure is that if I did have a daughter she would probably be an attention whore, talk too much, and not know when to keep her mouth shut. Those are the issues that I would clearly pass on.
But I would just whisper to her "It's okay pookie...one day you can channel all of that nonsense into a blog...and people might actually enjoy it"!
1. I cuss A LOT. And I like it.
2. I am a lady.
3. I need to go shopping.
4. Yesterday on Facebook, I posted a list of things I want. They include but are not limited to: skinny jean, boots, pearls, a diamond, a leather (or pleather) jacket, shoebooties, a pair of jeans that fit (yes, a different pari than the skinny jeans), a pair of slacks from the GAP (they have a great new line), to ride on the back of a fourwheeler, to lay under the stars on a blanket with my girl.
5. I am super horny. There. I said it. I feel like I am a 14 year old boy who just found a stash of porn. It's time for some sexy time people. I am stepping up my game.
6. Do you know that on Oprah yesterday, they said that 73% (or something like that) of people look at their poop? NO! I do not look at my poop thank you very much. I dont even stand up until its flushed. You know why? Please refer to #2. That's right. I am saying it. If you look at your poop, you are not a lady. End of discussion.
7. Heather said something the other day in reference to an old picture of me. I believe she said, "Damn babe! You were BIG." She didn't want me to tell you because "I don't want the BOOBS coming after me". That made me giggle. Can you just picture it now? The BOOBS mafia.
8. I have been eating COPIOUS amounts of food this week. Sneaky eating. Hide the wrapper at the bottom of the trashcan eating. Have you ever ate so much crap in a short period of time, that when you go to eat more crap you aren't even excited about it? Yeah. Welcome to my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
9. I am thinking about getting a facial. But what if they see my lady whiskers?
10. Heather and I are going to a Halloween party. A costume party. And do you know what? I can say that I have never, in all of my 31 years, been to a costume party. I know you will find this shocking, but I don't really like them! So much pressure! But we were invited to this party of very grown-up "power lesbians" (read rich and successful)...Anywhoozle, I am sure it will be a great time but there are several issues. First, Heather doesn't really like to dress up. And second, she wants me to be sexy. Well shitballs. So after throwing around many ideas (for example, her being Popeye and me being sexy spinach....SEE....I told you I suck at costumes), I am going as sexy teacher and she is going to be teacher's pet. Which basically means I am going to put a collar on her and have her on a leash for the night. Which really works for me in several ways.
11. When we were in Chicago, Jen, Drazil, Jenny and I were walking around on Saturday and it was a bit chill chill outside, and I was dressed in a tank and flipflops...and we were hungry and so we stopped by the Ghirardelli store. AND SLAP YO MAMA, they had pumpkin flavored hot chocolate. It was so good I could have dry humped the cup right then and there. AND, they were giving away sample of the the pumpkin chocolate bars. Anyways, I have been dreaming, and craving that hot chocolate for 3 weeks now. And they don't sell it online. It may be the end of me.
12. I am looking forward to this weekend. Gonna do a little shopping, go visit and spend time in Defuniak Springs with Heather and her family, go to see Jerrod Niemann in concert (currently my favorite CD right now), and just BE.
Kisses my little rays of sunshine!
Monday, October 11, 2010
I also went grocery shopping this weekend and found a little slice of something nice. Literally. Apparently Pepperidge Farm has this new bread out called "Very Thin" (I know...must have been a slow day in the marketing department)....but anywhooz, they are really thin pieces of bread.
And I thought "Yippeee! I will buy this very thin wonder and toast it and eat it." And last night 2 pieces went down just fine. And then this morning I ate two more...and although they were a little slower moving through the old band...they worked! So...for those of you who dare or who want too...give it a try. Um...just be forewarned...and I know most of you are oodles smarter than me...that since it is thinner, you don't need to toast these little suckers for the same amount of time as normal bread.
I'm just saying.
One of my favorite things in my goodie bag from Chicago was this little replica of the size of our opening courtesy of Realize. I played with one of these in my doctors office once. And while I don't have a Realize band, it's really nice to have this for a couple of reasons.
First, I leave it on my table at work so when people come in, we can talk about it. Also, it is a reminder to me of how tiny my little opening is and how much I need to CHEW! Just like SouthernBelle and I were talking about in Chicago...we seem to get stuck a lot. And I have to admit...this is more my fault than the band's. As I am nearing my two year mark with Miss Tina the wonderband, I forget sometimes that I still need to eat slow and chew my food. I might start carrying this thing around on my keychain. Now that would be fun. (and yes...I framed this picture so you could see the lovely orange diet hooch in my Tervis glass...good times).
In other news, I went running this weekend. For those of you on my facebook, last Monday I did something. Something that to some of you may be small potatoes, but to this little girl...was big time. As I have told you before, in junior high we had to do the Presidential fitness test. Does anyone know who in the hell came up with that? Which President? TELL ME? (I just googled it and it appears to be LBJ...damn him) So, the test included sit-ups, arm hang, running, and flexibility. And while I could beat everyone in flexibility and rock the sit-ups, I would drop like a fat stone on the arm hang and never, EVER, be able to finish the mile run in under the allotted 11 minutes.
I am proud to say that I can now do the arm hang (you know, where you keep you chin above the bar for as long as you can).
But, last Monday...I did a mile UNDER 11 minutes. Granted, it was on a treadmill, and just in case you were unaware (as was I), running on a treadmill is a tad easier than on the road...but I did it. And it closed a little chapter in my life.
Finally I will leave you with some pictures from Epcot. This was the fun evening activities free of the conference I had to attend. I was able to spend some quality time with Maria (which we didnt really get in Chicago), and I was able to meet Amy (whom I now love madly), AND I was able to introduce Heather to both of them. It was a great evening.
We tried to make it look like I was holding up the Epcot thingie.
This is in one of the countries. I like to think of it as Heaven. Aw....
Yes. That is tequila face. Stephanie brought it to Chicago. I shot it. There was no lime. No salt. I tried to chase it with a gingersnap cookie. Didn't work. BAD. And there you have it. Happy Monday lovies!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Awhile ago, a very nice man from https://americasnutrition.com/ contacted me to see if I would be interested in selecting something from their website to try and review. And I did. I picked Full Bars. They sounded interesting and what did I have to lose?
2 tablespoons EVOO
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 cup mild or hot tomatillo salsa (the green salsa)
4 cups chicken broth
2 cans Great Northern Beans
1 can diced green chilis
Juice of 2 limes
Cheese for toppings
Heat a medium soup pot over medium-high heat with the oil. Add the chicken to the hot oil and season liberally with salt and pepper. Cook for until the pink is gone. Add the onion, garlic, jalapeno, cumin and cook 3 to 4 minutes. Add the tomatillo salsa and the chicken stock. Bring the chili up to a simmer. Add one can of the beans. With a fork, mash the other can of beans, then add to chili. This will help to thicken the chili. Simmer for 10 minutes. Remove, squeeze in lime juice.
And thats all folks! It is really tasty!
To find out more about the contest, click here.
Here is a diagram from their website that I really like. I think it illustrates what this journey is about...and really...who doesn't love a Venn Diagram?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Me looking at sweet treats in Chinatown. I bought two pieces of cake for myself thank you very much.
What I like about this picture is Angie laughing in the background.
See, I thought Sarah said "Amy, come STRADDLE me". I think she actually said "Come take a picture with me." It was too late. Thank God I had underwear on.
I just wanted to let you know that I have not been M.I.A for no good reason. I flew from Chicago to Pensacola on Sunday morning, got the pick up at the airport by the lovely Heather, and started driving to Orlando for a conference. Mind you, I had only slept about 3 hours the entire time in Chicago, but Heather was coming off a shift, so she had slept less. SOOO (are you feeling sorry for me yet?) we made it to Orlando...roughly 7 hours later...and checked in to the Hotel. WELL, the internet service there SUCKED...and it made viewing any type of webpage nearly impossible...
no bloggy from Amy.
But I am back. And with a recap . I know some of you may be bored to tears with BOOBS recaps...and for that I apologize. But if you have it in you...keep reading my friends.
Upon my arrival to Chicago, my first time ever may I add, I hoped the choo choo train (or "El" or "l" or something like that) into the city. I got off at the exit, and was immediately lost. Thank goodness I caught Stephanie before her nap because she gave me walking directions and off I went...marching through the streets with my little luggage behind me.
I tried to stick with people I deemed "city folk" and jaywalked with them and tried to look cool. I had to walk a piece! At least a mile I would say. And guess what...my back never hurt, my thighs never chaffed, and my little pretty head never broke a sweat. It was sweet.
Once I found the damned hotel, the meet and greets started right away. Thank God Catherine made that cheat sheet, because I carried mine around all weekend. And for those of you who look different than the picture on the cheat sheet...thanks a lot! HA hah...that made things real fun.
For a few hours, yes...it was a lot to take in. A lot of new people, a lot of high pitched joyous shrieking, a lot of ladies and love. But once I started to put faces with names, all was well.
Fast forward to that night at the official meet 'n' greet in the hotel room. My favorite moments from that experience was me taking shots out of a mini Patron bottle that Stephanie had got for me. Granted, there was no lime so I had to chase the shots with little gingersnap cookies...which just for the record...is not a good idea. And then, at one point, true to my word, I had my dress pulled up over my undies, showing everyone my port baby...and at that very moment...Catherine walked in.
and more high pitched joyous greetings.
Then we moved down to the meeting room for a little more space. The hotel room was a wee bit crowded with 30 plus women in there. Some people were on top of others on the bed....I told Gilly NO...that I was a lady...but she didnt listen.
More fantastic shanagins downstairs. Lots of pictures. Lots of hugs. Angie, Jenny, Nicole, and Sarah arrived late.
more high pitched joyous greetings.
Seriously, for next time maybe we can just work on a fist bump and grunt combo.
Sooooo, around 9ish...mama was ready for some pajama time and relaxing...but SOME of the ladies insisted on going out clubbing. I refused and tried to pin myself to the bed, but Gen was throwing red wine on me (I broke her arm later) and others including I do believe one of my wonderful roomates, Sherry...were literally pulling me off the bed.
So off to the club I went. And I had a blast. I can honestly tell you, that in all of my 31 years, I have never been out dancing with the girls. And it was awesome. Right away, as Gen was grinding up on me...big things started to happen. First, the story goes...I shoved Gen because her shoes were hot and I was jealous (this could have been true bc they were pretty smokin), but what really happened was those killer shoes came out from underneath her, and for a moment it was like the Matrix. Gen was on her back, in midair...hovering. And then time caught up and she fell...straight down...on her back. Hot shoes, black pencil skirt, and white cami...just laying there. She popped up though like a champ and danced until SouthernBelle took her to the E.R. for a possibly fractured elbow.
After that, Gail...bc she loves me...started buying her and I shots of Patron. Like 5 shots for teh both of us over the course of an hour or so. Yum Yum. At this point, scary guys were coming out of the woodwork and trying to touch us. No. I think not scary guys. However, one such man was talking to Beth. Beth was talking to him. They were both looking at me. And he walked over and yelled "So you are the bachelorette huh?" Yes. Thank you Beth! Luckily, as he was trying to dance up on me...I gave Sherry the "help me eyes" and she ran interference. That's a good friend there.
It was surreal to look on the dance floor and see all of these ladies together...sweating and dancing. Catherine, Grace, KAK...all of us. Alexis and Lara were putting in down on the stage and the mens were all up on that! It was hilarious. Eventually, some of the crew left and Alexis, Gail and I decided to walk back to the hotel. Gail, bless her heart, walked right into a glass door, and when her head bounced off like a playground ball...we all almost pee'd ourselves. The tequila will get you! We didn't know what had happened to Sherry and I was saying how I couldnt believe she ditched us! I was in the middle of saying that when the phone rang and low and behold...it was Sherry. Turns out we had left HER at the damn club. So Alexis and I went back to get her.
Saturday was an awesome day. Draz, Jenny, Carmen and myself went to Chinatown. It really was a perfect morning with just a small group and cheap purses. I couldnt have asked for me. After we got back, we picked up SouthernBelle and went shopping on the magnificent mile. It was wonderful.
Back to the hotel to change and get fancied up for the big night. Then, I walked to the restaurant with Linda. And I was wearing high high heels. And guess what...it didn't hurt.
The setting for the dinner was great. For hours we were able to just set and talk and just be...
After that, a big group of ladies were going out, but I had to wake up at 3am, so I headed back to the hotel. Not before crying my eyes out saying goodbye.
Some of my highlights that I have not mentioned:
Going to lunch with Jen (SouthernBelle) on Friday. We ended up at the Rainforest Cafe. She ordered nachos and I ordered queso. The amount of food that came out could have fed, and for once I am not exaggerating, 10 bandsters easy. Neither of us made a dent. After about 4 chips, I got stuck and tried to wait it out. By the time I knew it was coming back up, I tried to make it to the bathroom...which was DOWNSTAIRS. I knew half way down the stairs I wasn't going to make it. So, my options were...puke it fake plant, puke in aquarium, puke on floor, or puke in my mouth. I chose the last one. Yep. In my mouth. And held it there like a champ until I made it to the bathroom.
The next day, Jen and I stopped and got a hot dog (Chicago Style). And Jen, bless her heart, decided she was going to take a bite...bun and all. I knew it was going to be bad. And sure enough...about 4 minutes later...mister bun came back up for her.
We never learn.
I got some fab purses in Chinatown.
Jen took awesome picture.
I made life long real honest to goodness friends.
I got to meet people who have changed my life.
I felt loved.
I got to learn from people like Deborah who know more about life than I do.
I got to feel people's ports, straddle people's laps (okay...just Sarahs), and hug people's necks.
I ate chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joes, chocolate from SouthernBelles purse, and the best hot chocolate pumpkin thing from Ghiradelli's ever.
I walked so much my legs were sore.
I can't wait to see you guys again. I can't wait to meet more of you. Thank you to all of the women who made this possible for me.
It was worth it.