My Digits

Friday, April 16, 2010

I Have A Bone To Pick

Have you found your tailbone yet?


First it was my collarbones. Oh how I love those little guys.


But then...my tailbone showed up at the party...without an invitation. I know we have discussed this before but now I have a theory.


We do this exercise at Circuit. Except the ball is bigger (8 pounds) and the mat is paper thin.


I can't do this exercise anymore. My tailbone feels like someone is stabbing it with a knife. But yet...I watch all the skinny people do it and...no PAIN!

SOOO, here my Amy theory. I believe that skinny people who have been skinnier for a longer period of tale, and thus having there tailbone more out and about, have developed a tailbone callus that they are keeping secret from us! They must have a little leathery patch that protects them. And in time...we will get one too!

But HURRY UP already! For the love of all that is holy, I am going to have to start carrying one of those hemorrhoid cushions around with me. That's going to be real hot during sexy time with Tracey when I have to say "Hold on dear...let me blow up my ass cushion".

And speaking of sex. Which I don't just PUT OUT THERE on the blog for fear of offending, but really...if you have stuck with me this long....

As my ass gets less and less meaty, and thus resulting in a closer space between me and Tracey...

well you KNOW!

FINE...penetration is much...

YOU KNOW!

Have mercy. Are people from Dr. Friedman's office reading this?

deeper okay!

But this is a valid point bc it applies to us ladies and also our fellows that are reading (hey Fat Bastard and Andrew)...bc I would assume not only can we tell the difference as the "receivers", but you can tell a difference as the "pitchers".

Sigh. Well there you have it.

No shame.

Moving on.

Last night I was sitting on Tracey's lap (fully clothed thank you) just chattin away and he said "Damn your ass is boney".

hahahahahaha! SAY WHAAAAA?

really? No one has ever said that to me. But my ass was hurting his legs! And not bc of the immense pressure of my weight. But because of my bones!

hahaha...

all is right with the world.

22 comments:

  1. HA HA HA HA HA OMG What a way to end a week...love it and YES I know what you are talkign about!!!

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  2. LMAO!! love it....
    between the ass callus and the ...ahem...penetration i was laughing my ass off!!

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  3. Great - now in Chicago you're going to want to sit on all our laps just so you can prove you have a bony ass. I won't do both - jello fight OR sit on my lap. One or the other. Geez.

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  4. Will be testing out these theories tonight!!!!

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  5. How could you? My favorite topic??? Yes, it is so much better. I mostly appreciate the flexibility I have regained. I CAN WORK IT, if you know what I mean.

    Anyway, regarding your previous post- is it weird to think those before pictures are even you? When I see them, it doesn't connect in my mind. About you, or even about myself for that matter. I think, who is that girl? and WHY???

    xoxoxo

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  6. Always the funny girl. Love it.. Can not wait for my lovely collar bones. Have a great weekend..

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  7. I'm back from the bathroom, checking to see if I have collar bones.
    Your title made me think it might be about... then it wasn't... then it was!
    And you're right, if your followers have not been offended by you yet, it's going to take a little more than "penetration" scare us off.

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  8. It's funny, I was thinking about something similar just today in regards to the sex aspect. Not just the confidence that occurs to get into more varied positions, but the sensitivity that might not have previously been there due to too much excess baggage in the FUPA area.

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  9. My booty fat doesn't go as high as my tailbone, so that particular area has always been sensitive. Hurts like hell...

    As for the sexy benefits- sadly, I'll have to take your word for it as I have been officially re-virginized.

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  10. My tailbone is definitely more sensitive then when I was 50 pounds heavier. And well I definitely notice a difference sitting in a non-padded chair.

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  11. Sexy time can get even better?! Who isn't all for that?! LOL
    I can't wait to be able to tell I have bony places besides my elbows!

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  12. I hate my new tailbone... I cant sit on the floor and that exercise you were talking about kills me everytime

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  13. My tailbone is still waiting to be found. Your posts always leave me smiling.

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  14. I thought it was just me!!! I fell down our stairs 11 yrs ago and broke my tailbone. But I have had pain practically ever since! But I have noticed that since my weight loss started, it really flared up again!! I always sit on a memory foam pillow at home and it still hurts!!!

    By the way Amy, I don't mean to complain, but I find it really hard to read your blog! Is it possible to change the words in the body of your post from black to white?

    I know that the print would show up much easier as I have to squint the whole time I read your blog. This old woman is really starting to have some issues with the old eyes, you see? LOL

    Have a great weekend!!

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  15. hehehe I can't imagine anyone ever calling my ass bony :-)

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  16. Oh How I wish but as big as I have ever gotten I have always been from the land of FLAT ass. So my but has always has no cushion for the pushing. I have and ass shelf that site above my ass but the ass itself is actually lacking. Best tip is to squeeze your tush while doing this excersize. That is what I have to do for pilates or my tail bone feels like it went ten rounds with a mike tyson. (BAAD IMAGE) but it does help.

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  17. Yes we talked about this and my Tailbone kills me!!! :o(

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  18. Choking with laughter over here!!!

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  19. I have the same tailbone issue at pilates! Need to find an exercise or something that will increase the callus development!

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  20. Lordy girl, what would yo' mamma say bout' this here post?

    Yes, sex was better 50 pounds ago.

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  21. I can't wait to have a boney butt and collar bones! I also wanted to tell you that I love when you post those before pics, it always makes me cry like a big 'ole baby! I am so proud of you - I know I have said that about a million times, but I really am! <3

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