Tracey graces me with lovely southern man terminology from time to time. Yesterday, he wanted to know how my doctors appointment went and if my "ham wallet" got the all clear.
And yes it did! I didn't think of any funny jokes to tell the doc while he was inspecting my lady station. But, I was thinking real hard if that counts!
He reviewed my blood work and yes, my cholesterol is still too high. Remember when I went to my health fair here at work in February and it was 218 (and it should be under 200)? Well, it's still around 218. Both times I was checked, I had been fasting...so it is pretty accurate. I want to scream...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Down 138 pounds and it's still high. But doc says its hereditary, and since we are a family of heart disease, he would like to put me on an over the counter med, which is actually a vitamin called Nyacin. I am probably spelling it wrong. Anywhoozle, it is meant to lower bad cholesterol and pump up the good. So I will try it for 3 months and then recheck.
I wanted to do a post before we head off to northern Alabama for the weekend. There is no way I will be able to catch up on blogs when I return, so if I miss something good please email me. I mean it.
Here is my question for you: What do you hide behind?
What is your protection? I know some of you have had very open, heartfelt blogs recently where you explain why you have hid behind your weight. It made you feel safe.
So have you thought about what will happen when that weight is gone? And if it's not your weight that is "protecting you"...then what is it? For you?
For me, it is my humor. I make jokes to make others happy. I make people laugh because it brings me joy. But my humor has always been my protection.
If I can make them laugh with me before they laugh at me...I will be one step ahead of them.
I honestly believe that is why there are so few thin, hot, funny women! It was not a trait that they needed to develop...that had other traits that could get them through. I don't think that I will ever be able to not hide behind my humor. I use it when I am nervous, scared, hurt.
It's something to think about before you start getting close to goal. What's really hard to put into words is how it is weird that I am, in a sense, losing my identity. I have always, ALWAYS, been the funny fat girl. And I was proud that I was that fat girl who had friends, was a cheerleader, a dancer, in the spotlight. That is the reason I wanted to get on Oprah in the first place! I wanted to be the fat girl exception to the rule!
And now I am not the fat girl.
Well, I guess technically I still am, but in terms of the American woman's weight, I am "average".
So now what? A new Amy I suppose. A new chapter?
It's very interesting because I had never given thought to this...this change.
What a journey this is!
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend. I promise to take lots of pictures! How about everyone just DOESN'T blog this weekend...k? A blog blackout of sorts!
For those of you not on my FB (why aren't you?), this is what I saw when I got into my car today! A little note from my mans. Sigh. Gotta love him.