The Blogger "Convention" In Chicago Meets Debbie Downer

The time has come for me to post about the get together that Drazil, Jenny, and kaghead are working so hard on arranging.

First. I think it FANTASTIC! It has been something so many of us have mentioned time and time again and this time...I think it is going to happen!

Several of you have emailed me or Facebooked me about why I haven't said anything about it. I guess because it kind of makes me sad.

When Jenny first asked me what I thought of the idea I thought it was wonderful. In my mind I thought it would be next year sometime which meant I could save up for it. And then when I read the blog and it said June of THIS year, I knew there was no way. September is now the magic month and that does sound more promising, but I don't think I will be able to go.

And here is why.

(I am eye rolling at the computer right now bc I don't think you want to hear this...so I will keep it brief).

Tracey and I, like many of you, live in the wonderful work of paycheck to paycheck. We don't share a bank account or pool our money. We each pay half of the bills (I have cell and cable), he has the utilities. Half of Tracey's income goes to child support. We have no credit cards. I do have a tremendous amount of student loan debt bc I was an idiot with my money in my 20's and naively thought that upon graduation I would land a high paying job.

Yes. It is safe in my fantasy world.

After moving to Florida after college, by myself, and without a job...I had to end up taking a job at Home Depot. But that is where I met Tracey, so I can't complain about that :)

Three years ago I started my current profession and make a nice salary that pays the bills and is not bad for a nonprofit. It is still half of what I wanted to be making by now.

We are by no means poor or sinking. But I don't have an account or stash of emergency or fun money. Suze Orman would be very unhappy with me.

So when fun things are in the future...such as a cruise, vacation, trip to Chicago to meet ladies that I am madly in love with...I have to start saving for those kind of things. And I could save enough money by September...but it just happens to be that we are already saving for another upcoming event (that has yet to be announced...so pretend you don't know anything and don't even bother to ask bc my secret is locked in a vault). All of the money I can set aside is going to that.

Sigh. I am premenstrual and talking about money makes me sad and stresses me out. So I have been putting off this post for days. I guess I didn't want you think I was looking for pity because my situation is not a sad one, just a real one.

So. I hate the words "I can't". I hate saying "It's not going to happen". So I will not say either of those.

I am going to see what I can do. Let me price some things. Let me see how I can move things around.

I know it won't be the end of the world. And I truly believe this is just the beginning of real life meets.

I know we say so many times "I feel like I know you, when I don't even really KNOW you". But the thing is...we do actually know each other. I work with people 8 hours a day that know me in the physical sense, but don't know half of what you know about me in the emotional, mental, and lady dangle sense.

And don't worry. In person I am boring, dull, not funny. lol. And you KNOW Drazil is an attention whore. Could two of those be in the same room at once? Your heads might explode.

OOOH...but if I do go...can we jello wrestle each other?