Thursday, October 14, 2010
Things You Should Know Thursday
1. I cuss A LOT. And I like it.
2. I am a lady.
3. I need to go shopping.
4. Yesterday on Facebook, I posted a list of things I want. They include but are not limited to: skinny jean, boots, pearls, a diamond, a leather (or pleather) jacket, shoebooties, a pair of jeans that fit (yes, a different pari than the skinny jeans), a pair of slacks from the GAP (they have a great new line), to ride on the back of a fourwheeler, to lay under the stars on a blanket with my girl.
5. I am super horny. There. I said it. I feel like I am a 14 year old boy who just found a stash of porn. It's time for some sexy time people. I am stepping up my game.
6. Do you know that on Oprah yesterday, they said that 73% (or something like that) of people look at their poop? NO! I do not look at my poop thank you very much. I dont even stand up until its flushed. You know why? Please refer to #2. That's right. I am saying it. If you look at your poop, you are not a lady. End of discussion.
7. Heather said something the other day in reference to an old picture of me. I believe she said, "Damn babe! You were BIG." She didn't want me to tell you because "I don't want the BOOBS coming after me". That made me giggle. Can you just picture it now? The BOOBS mafia.
8. I have been eating COPIOUS amounts of food this week. Sneaky eating. Hide the wrapper at the bottom of the trashcan eating. Have you ever ate so much crap in a short period of time, that when you go to eat more crap you aren't even excited about it? Yeah. Welcome to my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
9. I am thinking about getting a facial. But what if they see my lady whiskers?
10. Heather and I are going to a Halloween party. A costume party. And do you know what? I can say that I have never, in all of my 31 years, been to a costume party. I know you will find this shocking, but I don't really like them! So much pressure! But we were invited to this party of very grown-up "power lesbians" (read rich and successful)...Anywhoozle, I am sure it will be a great time but there are several issues. First, Heather doesn't really like to dress up. And second, she wants me to be sexy. Well shitballs. So after throwing around many ideas (for example, her being Popeye and me being sexy spinach....SEE....I told you I suck at costumes), I am going as sexy teacher and she is going to be teacher's pet. Which basically means I am going to put a collar on her and have her on a leash for the night. Which really works for me in several ways.
11. When we were in Chicago, Jen, Drazil, Jenny and I were walking around on Saturday and it was a bit chill chill outside, and I was dressed in a tank and flipflops...and we were hungry and so we stopped by the Ghirardelli store. AND SLAP YO MAMA, they had pumpkin flavored hot chocolate. It was so good I could have dry humped the cup right then and there. AND, they were giving away sample of the the pumpkin chocolate bars. Anyways, I have been dreaming, and craving that hot chocolate for 3 weeks now. And they don't sell it online. It may be the end of me.
12. I am looking forward to this weekend. Gonna do a little shopping, go visit and spend time in Defuniak Springs with Heather and her family, go to see Jerrod Niemann in concert (currently my favorite CD right now), and just BE.
Kisses my little rays of sunshine!
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday and a Side of Crack


And I thought "Yippeee! I will buy this very thin wonder and toast it and eat it." And last night 2 pieces went down just fine. And then this morning I ate two more...and although they were a little slower moving through the old band...they worked! So...for those of you who dare or who want too...give it a try. Um...just be forewarned...and I know most of you are oodles smarter than me...that since it is thinner, you don't need to toast these little suckers for the same amount of time as normal bread.
I'm just saying.
One of my favorite things in my goodie bag from Chicago was this little replica of the size of our opening courtesy of Realize. I played with one of these in my doctors office once. And while I don't have a Realize band, it's really nice to have this for a couple of reasons.
First, I leave it on my table at work so when people come in, we can talk about it. Also, it is a reminder to me of how tiny my little opening is and how much I need to CHEW! Just like SouthernBelle and I were talking about in Chicago...we seem to get stuck a lot. And I have to admit...this is more my fault than the band's. As I am nearing my two year mark with Miss Tina the wonderband, I forget sometimes that I still need to eat slow and chew my food. I might start carrying this thing around on my keychain. Now that would be fun. (and yes...I framed this picture so you could see the lovely orange diet hooch in my Tervis glass...good times).
In other news, I went running this weekend. For those of you on my facebook, last Monday I did something. Something that to some of you may be small potatoes, but to this little girl...was big time. As I have told you before, in junior high we had to do the Presidential fitness test. Does anyone know who in the hell came up with that? Which President? TELL ME? (I just googled it and it appears to be LBJ...damn him) So, the test included sit-ups, arm hang, running, and flexibility. And while I could beat everyone in flexibility and rock the sit-ups, I would drop like a fat stone on the arm hang and never, EVER, be able to finish the mile run in under the allotted 11 minutes.
I am proud to say that I can now do the arm hang (you know, where you keep you chin above the bar for as long as you can).
But, last Monday...I did a mile UNDER 11 minutes. Granted, it was on a treadmill, and just in case you were unaware (as was I), running on a treadmill is a tad easier than on the road...but I did it. And it closed a little chapter in my life.

Finally I will leave you with some pictures from Epcot. This was the fun evening activities free of the conference I had to attend. I was able to spend some quality time with Maria (which we didnt really get in Chicago), and I was able to meet Amy (whom I now love madly), AND I was able to introduce Heather to both of them. It was a great evening.

We tried to make it look like I was holding up the Epcot thingie.

This is in one of the countries. I like to think of it as Heaven. Aw....
Okay...this is the Mission to Mars ride....and it was serious business.Friday, October 8, 2010
Product Placement

Awhile ago, a very nice man from https://americasnutrition.com/ contacted me to see if I would be interested in selecting something from their website to try and review. And I did. I picked Full Bars. They sounded interesting and what did I have to lose?
Green and White Lightning Chunky Chicken Chili
2 tablespoons EVOO
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
1 medium yellow onion, diced
1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped
2 tablespoons ground cumin
1 cup mild or hot tomatillo salsa (the green salsa)
4 cups chicken broth
2 cans Great Northern Beans
1 can diced green chilis
Juice of 2 limes
Cheese for toppings
Heat a medium soup pot over medium-high heat with the oil. Add the chicken to the hot oil and season liberally with salt and pepper. Cook for until the pink is gone. Add the onion, garlic, jalapeno, cumin and cook 3 to 4 minutes. Add the tomatillo salsa and the chicken stock. Bring the chili up to a simmer. Add one can of the beans. With a fork, mash the other can of beans, then add to chili. This will help to thicken the chili. Simmer for 10 minutes. Remove, squeeze in lime juice.
And thats all folks! It is really tasty!
C.H.O.I.C.E
To find out more about the contest, click here.
Here is a diagram from their website that I really like. I think it illustrates what this journey is about...and really...who doesn't love a Venn Diagram?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Chicago Picture Story
Me looking at sweet treats in Chinatown. I bought two pieces of cake for myself thank you very much.
What I like about this picture is Angie laughing in the background.
Oh we are ladies. This one made Heather proud.
The beautiful SoutherBelle.
See, I thought Sarah said "Amy, come STRADDLE me". I think she actually said "Come take a picture with me." It was too late. Thank God I had underwear on.
Draz and me shoppin in Chinatown. Cute little dimples.A Day Late And A Dollar Short-My Chicago Recap
I just wanted to let you know that I have not been M.I.A for no good reason. I flew from Chicago to Pensacola on Sunday morning, got the pick up at the airport by the lovely Heather, and started driving to Orlando for a conference. Mind you, I had only slept about 3 hours the entire time in Chicago, but Heather was coming off a shift, so she had slept less. SOOO (are you feeling sorry for me yet?) we made it to Orlando...roughly 7 hours later...and checked in to the Hotel. WELL, the internet service there SUCKED...and it made viewing any type of webpage nearly impossible...
so....alas....
no bloggy from Amy.
But I am back. And with a recap . I know some of you may be bored to tears with BOOBS recaps...and for that I apologize. But if you have it in you...keep reading my friends.
Upon my arrival to Chicago, my first time ever may I add, I hoped the choo choo train (or "El" or "l" or something like that) into the city. I got off at the exit, and was immediately lost. Thank goodness I caught Stephanie before her nap because she gave me walking directions and off I went...marching through the streets with my little luggage behind me.
I tried to stick with people I deemed "city folk" and jaywalked with them and tried to look cool. I had to walk a piece! At least a mile I would say. And guess what...my back never hurt, my thighs never chaffed, and my little pretty head never broke a sweat. It was sweet.
Once I found the damned hotel, the meet and greets started right away. Thank God Catherine made that cheat sheet, because I carried mine around all weekend. And for those of you who look different than the picture on the cheat sheet...thanks a lot! HA hah...that made things real fun.
For a few hours, yes...it was a lot to take in. A lot of new people, a lot of high pitched joyous shrieking, a lot of ladies and love. But once I started to put faces with names, all was well.
Fast forward to that night at the official meet 'n' greet in the hotel room. My favorite moments from that experience was me taking shots out of a mini Patron bottle that Stephanie had got for me. Granted, there was no lime so I had to chase the shots with little gingersnap cookies...which just for the record...is not a good idea. And then, at one point, true to my word, I had my dress pulled up over my undies, showing everyone my port baby...and at that very moment...Catherine walked in.
and more high pitched joyous greetings.
Then we moved down to the meeting room for a little more space. The hotel room was a wee bit crowded with 30 plus women in there. Some people were on top of others on the bed....I told Gilly NO...that I was a lady...but she didnt listen.
More fantastic shanagins downstairs. Lots of pictures. Lots of hugs. Angie, Jenny, Nicole, and Sarah arrived late.
more high pitched joyous greetings.
Seriously, for next time maybe we can just work on a fist bump and grunt combo.
Sooooo, around 9ish...mama was ready for some pajama time and relaxing...but SOME of the ladies insisted on going out clubbing. I refused and tried to pin myself to the bed, but Gen was throwing red wine on me (I broke her arm later) and others including I do believe one of my wonderful roomates, Sherry...were literally pulling me off the bed.
So off to the club I went. And I had a blast. I can honestly tell you, that in all of my 31 years, I have never been out dancing with the girls. And it was awesome. Right away, as Gen was grinding up on me...big things started to happen. First, the story goes...I shoved Gen because her shoes were hot and I was jealous (this could have been true bc they were pretty smokin), but what really happened was those killer shoes came out from underneath her, and for a moment it was like the Matrix. Gen was on her back, in midair...hovering. And then time caught up and she fell...straight down...on her back. Hot shoes, black pencil skirt, and white cami...just laying there. She popped up though like a champ and danced until SouthernBelle took her to the E.R. for a possibly fractured elbow.
After that, Gail...bc she loves me...started buying her and I shots of Patron. Like 5 shots for teh both of us over the course of an hour or so. Yum Yum. At this point, scary guys were coming out of the woodwork and trying to touch us. No. I think not scary guys. However, one such man was talking to Beth. Beth was talking to him. They were both looking at me. And he walked over and yelled "So you are the bachelorette huh?" Yes. Thank you Beth! Luckily, as he was trying to dance up on me...I gave Sherry the "help me eyes" and she ran interference. That's a good friend there.
It was surreal to look on the dance floor and see all of these ladies together...sweating and dancing. Catherine, Grace, KAK...all of us. Alexis and Lara were putting in down on the stage and the mens were all up on that! It was hilarious. Eventually, some of the crew left and Alexis, Gail and I decided to walk back to the hotel. Gail, bless her heart, walked right into a glass door, and when her head bounced off like a playground ball...we all almost pee'd ourselves. The tequila will get you! We didn't know what had happened to Sherry and I was saying how I couldnt believe she ditched us! I was in the middle of saying that when the phone rang and low and behold...it was Sherry. Turns out we had left HER at the damn club. So Alexis and I went back to get her.
Saturday was an awesome day. Draz, Jenny, Carmen and myself went to Chinatown. It really was a perfect morning with just a small group and cheap purses. I couldnt have asked for me. After we got back, we picked up SouthernBelle and went shopping on the magnificent mile. It was wonderful.
Back to the hotel to change and get fancied up for the big night. Then, I walked to the restaurant with Linda. And I was wearing high high heels. And guess what...it didn't hurt.
The setting for the dinner was great. For hours we were able to just set and talk and just be...
After that, a big group of ladies were going out, but I had to wake up at 3am, so I headed back to the hotel. Not before crying my eyes out saying goodbye.
Some of my highlights that I have not mentioned:
Going to lunch with Jen (SouthernBelle) on Friday. We ended up at the Rainforest Cafe. She ordered nachos and I ordered queso. The amount of food that came out could have fed, and for once I am not exaggerating, 10 bandsters easy. Neither of us made a dent. After about 4 chips, I got stuck and tried to wait it out. By the time I knew it was coming back up, I tried to make it to the bathroom...which was DOWNSTAIRS. I knew half way down the stairs I wasn't going to make it. So, my options were...puke it fake plant, puke in aquarium, puke on floor, or puke in my mouth. I chose the last one. Yep. In my mouth. And held it there like a champ until I made it to the bathroom.
The next day, Jen and I stopped and got a hot dog (Chicago Style). And Jen, bless her heart, decided she was going to take a bite...bun and all. I knew it was going to be bad. And sure enough...about 4 minutes later...mister bun came back up for her.
We never learn.
I got some fab purses in Chinatown.
Jen took awesome picture.
I made life long real honest to goodness friends.
I got to meet people who have changed my life.
I felt loved.
I got to learn from people like Deborah who know more about life than I do.
I got to feel people's ports, straddle people's laps (okay...just Sarahs), and hug people's necks.
I ate chocolate chip cookies from Trader Joes, chocolate from SouthernBelles purse, and the best hot chocolate pumpkin thing from Ghiradelli's ever.
I walked so much my legs were sore.
I can't wait to see you guys again. I can't wait to meet more of you. Thank you to all of the women who made this possible for me.
It was worth it.









