Monday, July 20, 2015


On a lighter note (see the long-winded, slightly preachy previous post), I was asked by one of my favorite people from Apollo, if I would mind sharing my story when we met in Austin last week.

Let me think about it.  Would I mind talking about myself?  ummmmmm....nope. No problem with that.  But Michael didn't tell me WHO I would be talking to.

Turns out I would be addressing the entire staff of Apollo.  Didn't find that out until about 3 minutes prior.


But I had prepared a little slide show with pictures...because who doesn't love a picture?

So I got up to speak at "happy hour" at Apollo.  They had no idea what they were in for.  The point was...I am guessing...if for a person with a lapband to tell there those who work in accounting, or manufacturing, or wherever, can see what their work really translates to.

I opened with some before and afters.

Just so they could get an idea of where I came from.  But, to get an idea of WHO I was...I followed up with this nude shot of me striking a pose.

Not much has changed. 
  But I took them through my philosophy of "There are two types of fat girls..." And then I told them about how even though I didn't let my weight hold me back, eventually my weight began to physically hold me back.  I couldn't water ski anymore.  I couldn't walk across the parking lot without my back hurting and pouring sweat.

And then I took them to wear I am today.  I showed this picture and I ACTUALLY STARTED CRYING.  Seriously?!  And the only way I could stop crying was to say "I must be PMSing."  Which they liked.  But this picture represents two women, one with lapband and one with gastric bypass, who because of a choice they made (me 7.5 years ago, and for Rachel...10 years ago?) we can climb walls.  We are strong.  And we get to do that together.

And then...I said...

"I found love and became a half-lesbian.  This is not necessarily a side effect of the band, but you may want to list it as one".

I had them hooked then.  #iamahalflesbian led to many a conversation that afternoon and evening.  The number one question..."What IS a half-lesbian?"  A better way to say bi-sexual.  Duh.  But like I remind Heather, I am 100% lesbian with her for the rest of my life.
 And I showed a picture of me skiing again.
And like to throw in this diddy because I think I look like a muddy sex goddess. 
So my little speech was a success.  At one point I was talking to an employee and I spit on her jacket a little...and I apologized.  But she said "I will never wash this again".

Damn it.  My ego was eating that up.

And so it goes folks.



  1. Congrats on your successful speech! I bet it was much less a speech and much more an entertaining, endearing, uplifting and educational comedy sketch that touched a lot of people! Wish I could have been there to hear it!! I bet it was AWESOME and you helped a lot of people. Must feel great to know you made a difference! CONGRATS!!

  2. This post made me smile. You are a star, for sure.

  3. It WAS a fantastic speech. I was lucky to be there to witness it from the front row. I am your official super fan!