Thursday, March 12, 2015

Tough Mudder Quatro: Gulf Coast Edition

Tough Mudder Gulf Coast 2015 is in the books.  Let me tell you...that sucker felt every bit of the 10.3 miles they said it was.  It took us 5 hours to complete!  5 HOURS PEOPLE!  But that is because we stayed together as a group and ended up walking the majority of the course...which is fine with me...except that at some point...oh...say hour are so ready to be done!

It was cold morning for the lower 40's when we were starting, so Boobsweat (our friend Natalie) and Heather were bundled up and decided to skip all obstacles involving water.  Which, was really fine with all of us because when Heather is cold, she is miserable...and when Heather is's scary and thus...the rest of us are miserable as well.

So skip those water obstacles sweet sugarpie.  

Here is a no particular order.

Pictured below is Funky Monkey 2.0.  Our first Tough Mudder I made it about 4 rungs up...and then fell like the bottom heavy woman I am.  So after that ego deflating moment, I decided to really focus on my upper body strength.  This year, they have amped up the Funky Monkey (hence the 2.0) and half way across you have to trapeese swing to a suspended parallel bar.  Challenge accepted. Good new is I mounted that swing like the born gymnast I am...and I made the long reach with my stubby arms to the bar.  I shimmied about 3/4 of the way down, almost to the platform you end on...and I fell.  I kinda psyched myself out bc I was swinging like a monkey and didn't have much control and was worried I would smack that platform with my head...but I was pretty proud of my performance, as there were very few girls that made it that far...and the ones that did...well the junk in their trunk was significantly less than my junk.

I was thrilled however to see that the photographer caught my batwing in forward motion.  Looks like a damn pancake. 
 This is the Arctic Enema 2.0.  This year, instead of jumping into the ice dumpster, you slide down the slide with a fence over you.  Dustin said to me before we went "Let's hold hands the entire time." To which I said OKAY.  Well as soon as we hit that water he dropped my hand like a bad habit and afterwards I said "I thought we were holding hands the entire time"...and he said "Didn't we"?  It's so cold dudes.  Painful cold.

 Below is the wounded warrior carry.  That's my little Rachie Poo on my back.  Light as a feather.
 The damn electric shock.  As a Legionairre (someone who has done Tough Mudder more than once), we have the option of bypassing this last obstacle.  But Heather wanted to do it.  And she wanted me to do it with her. This is what she looks like when she does it.  Oh...I am a model.  This is so easy.
And this is what I look like.  I had just gotten shocked and was in the process of eating the mud below with my face.
This was prereace. sleeves.  Heather...bundled for snow.
A couple more of the Funky Monkey.

 Getting ready to grab the swing.
 This was a new obstacle called Beached Whale.  It's like a big pillow.  Everyone was hemming and hawing about mounting I ran as fast as I could and made a leap to our people at the top.  Basically I made it two inches high, ran smack into the side, and bounced off.  Not to team came and helped me up.
 This was a great picture of Everest that was in our newspaper.  It takes a great deal of teamwork for most of us to make it up.  That's my boy Waynie Poo dangling by Bucci's thumb.
And finally...after the race. Enjoying the sun and the one free beer and waiting to go eat...
 Food.  Yes.  Texas Roadhouse.  Come to mommy.  How does Rachel's hair look that good after a race?

So overall, fantastic day.  Glad it's over.  lol.

Happy Thursday


  1. Your posts almost make me want to do a mudder. Almost. LOL. You have got to be so proud of how far you've come. You are amazing.

  2. You are so freaking crazy and absolutely awesome at the same time. Good job, chica!