Thursday, December 20, 2012

I Wanna Be Tiny & Other Semi-Lesbian Musings

The other day I was looking at this girl (and by girl I mean 23 year old) and she was itty bitty.  Size 0 maybe?  And I was thinking: "Sigh, I wish I was TINY".

And then I felt myself say: "Self, you don't want to be TINY.  Your girlfriend likes a little meat and you like muscle and curves too.  You just want to be thinner and healthy."

Shut up self I said! 

TINY!  That was what I wanted to be.  I mean, may not bring happiness but clothes shopping has to be easier right?  At least that?

So fine.  Maybe I don't want to be tiny...but it might be fun for a little while.

This is me and my friend Nathan post workout this morning.  I was in beast mode and it felt good.  (random)

My girlfriend is sick.  And I realize that those of you in life partnerships with men also suffer from the "big baby phenomenon" I am about to mention but I think, I think it's a tad bit worse with two women.  As mentioned before, Heather, bless her heart, is high maintenance.  I mean she may look all tough and strong, but do not be fooled friends.  She is more girly than I behind the scenes. 

Case in point:  She cries at Grey's Anatomy more than I do.

But when she is sick, and by sick I mean a minor baby head cold...oh GOODNESS.  Sure as my name is Amy Irene Workman, she needs to be coddled and babied.  And don't get me wrong...I am all about coddling.  But it becomes tricky when I have a cold at the same time.  And by cold I mean, an "emotional cold" if you will.  Or in other words, I just need attention.  But I can't get babied or attention bc SHE needs babied and attention. 

You dig?

And listen...I hate to talk about things like politicos and religion...but...I am just going to say it.

There is a difference in brands of tampons.

Okay?  I am a pearl girl.  No cardboard applicators for this lady lilly.  No.  No janky little compact tampons neither.  But my girlfriend, who is cheap, buys whatever is the cheapest AFTER she uses all of my good tampons...

and that will stop.  Here me now.  It will stop.

Somethings you can't skimp on.  Cheese.  Cereal.  Tampons.

The end.

In other news, I also tried to play the "world is ending so we better DO IT tonight just in case" card.  But..yes...BECAUSE SHE IS SICK...she can't participate.  I told her that if the world ends at midnight she is going to be really sorry tomorrow.


Our kitty is still bringing in sweet furry moles into our house.  She gets them from the backyard, brings them through the doggie door and places them around the house.  For those of you who have never seen a mole in real life, this would be an example:

Precious.  That is not one of OUR moles...I tried to take a picture the other night but the little fellow wouldnt hold still.  Their eyes and ears are covered in fur, and they don't move real quick and they are softer than soft!  Luckily they are usually alive when I find them, so I can go free them to our backyard where they can continue to destroy it...but the other night I came home from work...unlocked the front door...and there were my three dogs and a mole...just walking around the living room.

Our house is a zoo.

Speaking of family is in town.  Mother, father, brother...and my sister and nephew have been coming over every night...and my niece should get here Sunday. 

Have I mentioned we have a tiny house, three fat dogs, one cat, and random moles?

I need a nap.

I have been doing pretty good these last few days.  I haven't gone crazy dieting but havent gone crazy consuming either. 

Tomorrow I have a few presents left to buy and stocking stuffers to purchase and then I should be ready for Christmas!

Happy Thursday friends!


  1. I have missed reading your blog! Thanks for the giggle and good luck with the "zoo"

  2. Such a bad a$$ pic at the gym! Looking GREAT my friend :)

  3. Love your posts! They always make me giggle a little! Thanks for sharing!

  4. Good lord you make me laugh. Today is my birthday and you made me happy.

  5. Merry, Merry Christmas Amy! To you, Heather, your family, and all your animals including the moles!!! xoxoxoxo ~Sarah

  6. Love reading your blogs! I never knew moles were so cute and toddle around the house! Happy to have learned something new today! I don't think we have moles in Iowa :)

  7. You should also not skimp on toilet paper. Very important. Possibly more important than cereal and I take cereal very seriously.