Gifts from Nicole!!!

Today I got home and found a package on my porch! Inside it contained wonderful gifts from Nicole! I found numerous pairs of pants, perfect for work. In addition, I found wonderful tops! In fact...I wore one out tonight! Thank you so much Nicole!!!!!!

Pictures For You...Pictures For Me (Bikini)

Step into a time machine with me. See below. We are looking at April of 2009. Ten months ago. And now. In the time machine back to the present. My new bikini!

It is brown with white polka dots. Size 16. I feel like I should go back and by a 14 so I can have it on bat for later in the season. One year ago this weekend we were at the beach already. Here is a blast from the past. I believe I posted this on my blog about a year ago.

206 Pound Woman Buys a Bikini

That's right.

I bought one.

Not a tankini.

A real bikini.

And it scares me a little bit. All of you have seen my recent belly shots. Standing upright...not terrible. Of course there are the old stretch marks. And YES, there are the five battle wounds I have earned in my war with obesity...courtesy of Dr. Friedman. AND YES, I don't look like model....but still.

So I bought it. And it's cute. It really is. I have been looking for a bikini for awhile to wear when I am at my sister's pool. And then recently I started entertaining the idea of buying one for when we go to the beach. Now, it should be said that when we go to the beach we go waaaayyy down past the public (aka the busy part) part of the beach. But, I am nervous. I don't want to be one of those people that other people look at and think...

Sweet Heaven's to Besty who told her that looked good!

My qualifications for a bikini were as follows:

I didn't want grandma pantie bottoms. Nothing above the belly button. I also did not want little baby bottoms that just barely cover the lady station and let my stomach hang out. No string bikini bottoms either. I wanted them to hit just below my belly button.

For the top, it gets a little trickier. I have found that XL bikini tops are not built for XL sized boobies. So, while the part around that ties around my back fits my 36", the cups usually runneth over. I also need a little substance to the under arm piece...the fabric that runs from the girls to my back. I have the side boobie fat issue.

So this bikini fits the bill. But it still makes me nervous.

Of course I will take pictures when I get home and post soon. I will probably go back and buy the matching tankini top for situations that call for some more cover!

And So Our The Scales Of Our Lives

Seriously...the little black dot living in my camera is not a smudge on the lens. It's inside the darn thing!

Sunkist-My Nightmare

I drank a bottle of Sunkist.

Just walked into work, popped my money in the machine, grabbed that damn thing and chugged it. It wasn't until I got to the very bottom of that beautiful bottle that I realized what I had done.

My first thought was...HOW AM I GOING TO TELL MY BLOG BUDDIES!

I started to panic. Cold sweat. Hyperventilating.

Then I woke up!

It was just a dream! Or a nightmare.

It still made me feel dirty. I took a shower immediately.

Soldiering on my peeps. Soldiering on!

It's Time--The Pick Me Up Post

I now read one million, four hundred, and ninety seven lapband blogs. In numbers, that looks like 1,000,497. That could be a little off, give or take a few blogs. But, it is a pretty high number. And lately, over the past few days, I have noticed something.

Some people are in a funk right now. Some bloggers are stuck in that place where we all go sometimes. You know that place.

The bad place.

Where all mirrors make us look fat. Where there are people with their hands out...just wanting something. Money. Time. Our soul. Where the scale won't move or where our partners don't understand. Where we are underpaid, under appreciated, or overlooked.

Yes. That's the bad place. And one should never stay there long. You can stop in from time to time and window shop...but keep on moving!

So with that said, I thought I would try to help---the only way I know how. Through laughter and words.

I believe that at any point--at least in MOST circumstances--you can choose your attitude. You can choose whether or not to smile. To find laughter. To feel love and give love. You can choose whether or not you will stay in the bad place or pull yourself up and find the good in the day.

Now sometimes you have to look really really hard to find that good...but it is there. Maybe it is hiding. Play a little game of hide 'n' seek and find it! Play with your kids. Don't have kids? Play with yourself! (hahah) Play your most favorite songs really loud and dance around like an idiot. Go shopping (this won't work if you are in the bad place because you are broke). Kiss your partner. Not a little peck, but a good old fashioned Hollywood kiss. Clean or organize something. Do something out of the ordinary for you.

And I know what you are saying. "Oh Amy, what do you know? What world do you live in?"

Well, to be honest. I live in the ghetto. I live paycheck to paycheck. I work a job that brings me very little joy. I wish I could move. I wish I could make more. I wish I was taller, skinnier, funnier, more self confident.

But, since we are being honest here...

I have a roof over my head and we have made the most with what we have. I live paycheck to paycheck but still have money for some shopping now and then, eating out, cable, internet, and other frivolous things. I HAVE a job, and one that affords me flexibility. I could live worse places than Pensacola. I am only 30. I may never be taller, but thinner may happen.

I believe that happiness is yours to make.

I put a quote on Facebook yesterday. It is from my favorite country duo...Sugarland.
"Some believe in destiny, some believe in fate. I believe that happiness is something we create".

And if you are in the bad place bc of the damn scale...sisters (and brothers) you are not alone. But lookey loo...if we are doing the right thing. Making healthy choices, moving, and not going coo coo crazy...the scale will move. It will!

And if you don't believe me. Then I've come up with a new reason the scales are stuck. Gravity. Or something having to do with the rotation of the moon and the Planet-not-a-planet-look-it's-a-planet again-Pluto. The is some gravity vortex that is holding us down. Yes. That must be it.

So say SCREW YOU to the bad place.

And remember what you know for sure....what you know deep deep deeeeep down in your soul.

You are fabulous.

Now go tell somebody!

Patience is a Virtue...

...that I do not possess.

With that said, I am down .5 pounds for the week. Well, I guess it's better than being up! So, I am at 206.5.

With that said, the good news is that this recent losing streak---5 weeks of recorded loss---is the longest losing streak since I was banded! It was not the largest amount of weight I have lost (11 pounds this month), but the longest I have gone without gaining.

Sure enough, I looked back over this last year, and for the most part, I would go 2, maybe 3 weeks with a loss, and then I would gain.

It might look something like this:

230 lbs
227 lbs
223 lbs
226 lbs

Shrinking Mommy asked me what my lowest month of weight loss was. Honestly, there were several months that I actually ended at a higher weight than I started! How about that!