Friday, July 5, 2013

Ooow Ahh Ohhh

Friends.  I promise I blog to you in my head on.the.regular.  I SO wish that they had developed the technology, which I could purchase used on Amazon at a discounted rate, that would enable my thoughts to automatically feed to Blogger, thus eliminating the need to make time to actually put fingertip to keys and create a damn post!

You dig?

I know you do.

It has been nearly a month since my last confession.

Thank you all for both your kind words on my post about my Shelbs and for your love and cyber applause for our engagement. 

I have some good news and some bad news.  First the bad.  Shelby hasn't come back to life.  Although I have had some crAZYYYY dreams about that very thing.  And second, the good news.  We are STILL engaged!


Now.  Somethings we should also talk about. 

The Most Exciting Part of My Journey is Happening Right Now

Who would have thought that 4.5 years after lapband I would still be finding and discovering new and exciting things tied to weight loss and my body?  Oh man.  I just had a BRILLIANT idea.  Have you guys seen those candles that have a ring buried down deep in the wax, and you burn the candle to get the ring which may, or may not be, a giant piece of crap?  What if they buried a jewel in our fat pre-surgery and then as the fat melted away (candle see how I just did that), we would be closer and closer to getting the ring...until one day we just POP it a little pimple...but with a diamond or opal in it instead of puss.

I know.  Puss is a disgusting word.

But seriously.

Think about it.

Anyways, back to what I was originally talking about.  Just to recap, at the beginning of March I decided to recommit to healthier eating, more cardio, less processed food, and just DOING BETTER overall.  Since then, I have lost 35 pounds.  And I think that these last 35 pounds have been the proudest l.b's of all my 170 pounds lost.  Let me tell you why.

I have worked very hard for each and every one of those pounds over the last several months.  My lapband had very little to do with the loss.  And that's not to say the pounds that I lost over the first 4 years I didn't have to work for, because I absolutely did...but these last ones were sweat and tears and making real changes.  At first, I didn't know how I was going to work out more...or how I was going to work out any differently than I already was.  But adding straight cardio seemed to be the only answer.  I started doing the ARC (like the elliptical) for 60 minutes a day in addition to circuit, bootcamp, or tough mudder training).  I started running 3-5 miles, at least 3 times a week.  I was, and I am still, doing two-a-days.  I wake up around 440am, go to Planet Fitness, do at least 3 miles and then do targeted weight lifting.  Then I do a class at work, either circuit or bootcamp).  Every once in awhile I did 3 workouts a day...but that was really to support my friends or coworkers that needed a workout buddy.

On Monday I weighed in at 158.

I have never weighed 150-anything. 

The amazing things, the nonscale victories that are new to me:

1.  Running is so much easier 30-35 pounds lighter.  I am not sure if I am much faster (I am doing a real 5k tomorrow so I will see what I can pull out under pressure), but my knees never bother me when I am running.  Before, my right knee would twinge most of the time.

2.  Seeing my muscles and definition gets me a little excited.  Seriously.  Sometimes when I am working out at the gym and looking in the mirror, I wanna make out with myself.  Just a little.  Light petting.  All above the waist.  But the loss of some of my insulation that covered my muscles that were already there, combined with really focusing on building them up a little more, has gave way to a body I really like. 

3.  When I am wearing clothes.  I feel amazing.  I am proud of myself.  I feel like I look healthy and fit.  My muffin top is gone, my stomach is flat, my ass is round...and even my damn thighs...the last thing to go and the parts of my body that want to hang on to all the fat possible...have slimmed up.  Now I should point out that I said when I am wearing CLOTHES I feel amazing.  Naked is another story.  Naked I still hate certain parts of my body.  There are moments when I catch a glimpse of my back and see the muscle definition...and I smile.  Or when I turn sideways and see how small my waist is and how my lower back curves so nicely into my butt...but the lower stomach skin, my saggy boobs, the insides of my thighs, and my bat wings haunt me.  They make me so so sad.  And I know that stomping around or dwelling on them for long will not magically fix them.  AND I know I can't really say "BUT IT'S NOT FAIR!  It's not fair that I work so hard and still look like a melted candle"...because it is fair.  Because I made some very poor choices for about 3 decades.  And I can fix some of it with plastic surgery I suppose. I finally got the nerve up to send an email to request a boob lift consultation.  They haven't emailed me back.  It's been about a month.  I am working on getting the lady balls to actually call them.  I think I am just scared that they will cost to much, or that they will need to lift AND do implants and then I will have huge unnatural knockers....I am scared to get my hopes up that there IS hope...and then not be able to do it.  And although I never thought I would do a tummy tuck, I might some day.  I wear bikini's all the time, and I would just love for the skin not to be there.  As for the inner thighs, I don't think I would ever be able to pay or want to go through a lower body lift.  Short shorts just may never be able to be in my future.  I think I can deal with that.

Also coming to visit lately is my port.

This was about 10 pounds ago, and of course my port baby has been poking out for years.  But now it's super noticeable in most of the shirts I wear.  At work, one of my coworkers said the other day "What is THAT" as I was walking down the hallway.  Heather is concerned and wants me to talk to Dr. Friedman about switching it out for the low profile port.  I probably will do that sometime I guess.  Just see what my options are.  It bruises every once in a while, and we are signed up for every mud run in the southern United States, so scaling walls or climbing things may be a bad idea with port baby sticking out.
I also have no pants that fit.  Work pants I mean.  Not one pair.  Which is GREAT, but also sucks.  I bought a pair of black banana republic slacks and in one week...too big.  Which is another crazy thing about being this size and weight.  Remember when it took 40 pounds to lose a size?  Now I can lose a size in about 8 pounds.  I am a size 8 now for the most part, although I do have jeans in size 10 and even a size 12 that I can still wear. 
I have more pictures and more news to share, but I better get ready for work!  Happy Friday friends!  Let the weekend begin!


  1. you are my hero right now! i have been banded about 3 1/2 years and struggling terribly right now. good work sister!

  2. You look amazing!! such an inspiration!

    i had a TON of discomfort from my port and my dr changed it to a low profile and it is so much better. Of course since I am still fat so you can't see mine but from a comfort perspective.....

  3. Wow, amazeballs!!! Can I ask if you are still using the phentermine, or was that a kick start only? I started it yesterday-- but I do not work out like you do, so don't know what I can expect. Your weight loss results are astounding, and I know that your muscle mass must be contributing to your metabolism. Good for you. Finally: I hate to read that you 'hate' anything about your body... I try to avoid self-loathing myself and discourage it in friends. Love yourself for where you've been and where you are going. It is all good. (And you are a hottie, of course.)

  4. Please post some more pics of your fab new success. I've followed you for the past year and a half and have related so much with you and your struggles! You inspire me so much!!

  5. So, I want my crackerjack fat box prize to be a diamond. Can you arrange that? ;). Great job on the additional pounds! Truly inspirational.

  6. You are the best and you look AMAZEBALLS! I can't believe your port is so visible. I'm with Heather - ask the doc about the low profile port. Surely if you are bruising, your insurance will cover it!

  7. Absolutely wonderful! I really need to get myself back on track... have fallen off the proverbial wagon, and although I haven't gained much weight, am not feeling all that good... so thanks for the encouragement - and I talk to a few of you (you! and Jen, Catherine, Jacquie, etc...) in my head daily (LOL)... :-)

  8. Why am I just now coming across your blog?! New Follower!! You are fab :) Can't wait to get caught up more on your journey...I'm 9 months post-op, 90 pounds down, and love reading about others' successes to give me something to look forward to!

  9. Amy, you inspired me to start my own blog!! Yipee!! I've survived day 5 post op and have almost busted open my incisions a few times today from laughing so hard at your blog posts! You are a funny, funny girl who happens to be rocking her band!! Amazing!!!

  10. OMG!!! You look amazeballs! I have been absent and am just now getting reinvigorated and remotivated and I SO needed this right now. To know that this far out of surgery, it's still possible to make the real changes that we need to in order to be successful. Thank you so much for this!

  11. Amy, that is AMAZING!! I didn't realize you'd lost so much during the last few months!! You're killing it at the gym!! That is really awesome, and I hope you pat yourself on the back every single day.

    I'm totally with Heather on the low profile port -- you need to get that puppy taken care of before you accidentally knock it around too much. Plus, you deserve not to have a lump in your cute gym shirts.

    Congratulations and major props to you!! That last 35 is a huge accomplishment, and you earned every last ounce. xoxoxo

  12. Amy, you're spectacular!!! My sister and I follow your blog (and Catherine's and Judi's and other's). We were also banded about the same time and have accomplished much but we struggle with the last 20 pounds. I might say we're both older than you guys (we could proudly be your mother's!) I exercise but not with the intensity that you do. I was wondering if you could give us an idea of what you're eating? Have you gone paleo? I read the "salt sugar" book you recommended.

    I want to say again how amazing your accomplishment is. You rock Amy!!!

  13. Reading this just told me what I really already knew to be true. To make this happen, I have to MAKE it happen. I have been doing a lot of two a days, but not consistently and it is what it is going to take.

    Thank you for sharing this. You should feel proud. I want to feel that again. Go girl!! <3

  14. I am so proud of you........YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION!!!!!!


  15. I just read your blog from start to finish, and girl, you are amazing!! I'm scheduled for the band in October and I have to say thank you for being so open and honest inside of only sunshine, roses, and glitter. You look FANTASTIC! Still waiting for the naked pics though! Lol

  16. HI my name is Laura You look Great I had a LB done in April 28 2012. I am running my frist tough muddier in October in NJ and I am doing Sparten in Aug in NH and and the Worier dash in September, I also did Dirty Girl Last weekend . My skin fold pulled down my port so you can see it. It also a little lower then yours

  17. Excellent I had a LB done in Apr 28 2012. I am operating my frist challenging muddier in Oct in NJ and I am doing Sparten in Aug in NH and and the Worier sprint in Sept, I also did Unclean Lady Last few days . My epidermis flip drawn down my slot so you can see gold for sale