Thursday, August 30, 2012

Lesbians And Synchronized Uteruses

Do you remember when I first started living with Heather and I wrote some deeply insightful post about being a new lady lover and all the things people who are NOT lady lovers might not think about?  I am pretty sure there was a post like that, but if you do not recall it....I talked about how when you are dating a never have to worry about starting your period and going to get a tampon, only to find that your man lover has used your last tampon and left the box empty.

Like Heather does.

Bless her heart.

And I suppose that this is not only a problem in lesbian households, but a problem some of you ladies may experience if you share your home with other girls/ladies who are "of age".

But here is another problem. 

You know how ladies and their cycles usually sync up if they live or work together?  Okay fine.  I can handle that...BUT...this is what is happening in our house these days.  About 2 day into her period, Heather gets...

let's shall I phrase this...


Not necessarily with me, but she refuses to get off the couch, orders me around, talks angry talk at the people on tv (hmmm...this isn't sounding much different than a normal Monday night)...but she is MOODY and less accommodating to my emotional clingliness needs.  And as a sweet understanding girlfriend, I should be kinder to her during this time of emotional distress.

Unfortunately, when Heather is about 2 days into her period and thus...bitchy...I am about 2 days from starting mine...and 2 days from starting my period I am UBER needy.   I want to cuddle on the couch, I need to have my hair petted, I need a lot of positive affirmation (hmmm...this isnt sounding much different than a normal Monday night).

My point is.  When I need to be babied and Heather needs to be grumpy...THAT CAN'T HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME.

Have mercy.

Not to worry though.  I snuck into the bathroom this morning, stole the two remaining regular strength tampons and left her with one "light day" day tampon.

HA!  Who is the winner now?


  1. HA! Revenge is a dish best served COLD!

  2. Hee! But, you know, you're only going to win until you get home again - she'll have something planned for you, I'm sure!

  3. Hmmm...glad I'm not a lesbian. LOL. Don't be misled though...guys have PMS too. I swear Hubby has monthly mood swings that are worse than living with a woman...then again, he's rather weepy anyway. *sigh* Maybe I'll just become asexual altogether. :)

  4. Bwahaha! I'm going to try that stealing the tampons trick on my always-leaving-the-empty-box-in-the-cabinet wife.

  5. LMFAO!!!! That is GREAT! My girl & I have both reached the wonder hysterectomy world and we now laugh in the face of the tampax isle, Now that still has not stopped her, once every other month moody emotional days and it still hasn’t stopped me from sliding an occasional kotex coupon in her wallet lol Life is truly wonderful! Loved your story and your brassiness for posting TFF!!!

  6. This post made me giggle!! It is been so long since I have had to deal with any girl,BFF, roommate female issues...I have the opposite situation living with all boys (hubby and dog)included!!