An Ode to Tina

I have a band named Tina

And she's a saucy minx

Sometimes when I eat to fast or eat to much

I end up over the sinks*

Sometimes she gently reminds me

That if I eat like a pig

I will never rock a smaller ass

And I will always be this big

Sometimes she squeezes my esophagus

And makes me want to cry

But I should have know better and not tried to eat

that wonderful greasy fry

Sometimes Tina forgets her job

And goes on a little vay-cay

Those are the days where I can eat

Anything, in any amount, in any way

For the most part though, we became fast friends

and we skip together hand and hand

As we continue down this road

The wonderful road of the lapband

Will I be a thin supermodel or wear a size six?

Who really cares and who really knows

All I am certain of

Is that I need to go shopping for new clothes

So ladies it's time to celebrate this tube

That hugs us on the inside

Throw back your head, let out a laugh

And enjoy this wonderful ride

*Its hard to rhyme with minx...work with me