Sometimes I have a day when it's very hard to turn my frown upside down.
Welcome to that day.
I am a dreamer...not only in the philosophical sense, but the literal one as well. I have very vivid, usually very odd dreams. I dream every night. Last night my dreams were bad ones. People trying to kill me, Tracey leaving me, me not having correct underwear and having to wear Tracey's...
you know. Run of the mill average dreams. Well I had to wake up before I could resolve these problems in my dreams. Yes...usually while I am dreaming I can say to my dreaming self: Amy, you are dreaming...fix this now".
I didn't have time this morning and the bad feelings in my dreams followed me into my normal life. I noticed this in the shower because I wasn't singing. I was just staring at the tile.
So, that is one reason I am grumpy.
The other reason is because I posted twice yesterday and couldn't figure out why, for the life of me, my followers hated me. I only got 2 responses. My world must be ending. But today I noticed that I wasn't getting any blogger notices in my email and I had been posting on other blogs so I should have at least got something!
Turns out I must have accidentally marked my blogger emails as spam...and sure enough. I found all of your comments from yesterday in my spam mail. Thank God I found them and fixed that problem.
And here is another reason I have a bad 'tude today. I do realize that by typing this I may come off as completely selfish and horrible, but you know the true Amy...so I trust in your love.
Tracey's grandpa died yesterday. And a couple of years ago, it came out that Grandpa had done some bad things to Grandma (who died last summer) and to Tracey's mom and other daughter. Grandpa had dementia and Tracey's parents lived in his house to take care of him. He was in his 90's and had a bad ticker. He died yesterday at a rehab facility (he had forgotten how to walk). So it is an odd situation bc I love Tracey's mom and didn't know what to say as I held her yesterday while we were waiting for them to come pick up the body. Do I say "He is in a better place now"...bc she believes in Heaven and Hell...but I don't know if she believes he went to the good place or the bad place.
I digress. I am getting off track.
Here comes the Horrible Amy part.
Grandpa's funeral is on Saturday. At 9:00 am. Do you know what else is on Saturday at 9:30 a.m.? The biggest Zumba event in Pensacola history that I have been dying to go to for weeks AND already bought my ticket in advance, AND was going with Mary and her niece and others from my work.
When Tracey told me that the funeral was Saturday...I almost cried. I couldn't hide my disappointment in my voice. Tracey told me that he knew how important Zumba was to me and that I didnt have to come to the funeral. He was serious. And said it with love.
Of course I am going to the funeral and not Zumba. Damn though! Really? Can't the world revolve around me and my workout schedule?
I told you I am horrible.