Monday, August 1, 2011

The Tubing Trip

This weekend I organized a little tubing trip. Where I am from, the land of Kansas, our rivers are really wide, really shallow, and generally...mud.  Down here in Florida though, there rivers are like those fantastic "lazy rivers" at theme parks.  You rent some tubes and just float down...for hours.  You rent tubes for your coolers of course.  You stop on sandbars.  You meet other river people.  It is the most fabulous use of money in my honest opinion. 

As you take a gander through the selected pictures (just in case you didnt want to look at the 199 I posted on facebook)...please realize a few things.  #1.  Contrary to what you may witness.  I am a lady.  #2.  I made the yummiest jello shots with absolute mandarin vodka.  We were going to stop at every sandbar and do a made it 2 sandbars in (about 10 minutes), and we had polished them off.  #3 We took approximately 75 beers with us.  Their were 7 of us drinking said beers.  We ran out.

Ooh, and somewhere down the river I met these lovely people who had Patron.  You know mama loves her some.  I swigged it right out of the bottle like a champ.  I liked those people.  Later, when I was going off the rope swing...they chanted my name.  Aw.  Good times.

And as for my neck.  Funny...I didnt feel a thing whilst tubing.  Come Sunday morning...that was a different story.
Me and my Nathan.  I love his Sunday bonnet.  He is my Bear Cub.
This is Maddie (aka Tits).  She is Peter's wife and possibly my new bestie.  She was teaching me how to shotgun a beer.  At first I thought this meant someone was going to put it in their mouth and spit it in mine...and THAT did not sound like fun.  But for those of you who are also unawares, you poke a hole in the can, put your mouth over it, and then open the can and chug.  Even preband I couldnt chug.  Didnt stop me from trying. Here I am just licking the can.  I am a good licker. arent supposed to pour it all over you.  Even pouring it out like that, Maddi beat me.  I promise her beer was gone in under 15 seconds.  It was amazing.
Here is Peter.  We were trying to do that famous buttshot from Sports Illustrated.  It didnt work out.  And I dont know why someone let me take 8000 pictures with a crushed beer can in my hand.
I have no recollection of the picture below.  However, according to the timeline I must have been thirsty.
And Peter helped.
Some of are crew.
Please note that everyone else is holding beers.  I am holding food.  Go figure.
Maddi and Peter.  Both high maintenance but tons of fun.  They work out with us. Peter is actually training for an ironman.  We decided somewhere on the river that he will be one of our sperm donors.  I will be the recipient.  Maddi is fine with that, as long as they have theirs first.  Heather will get Nathan's (bear cub) donation, bc they are both so gay that their gayness will cancel each other out.  Their words.  not mine.
me and my lady...waiting for the bus to pick us up before the fun began.

I figure at least once a summer there needs to be one of these pictures.
And that's it!  Somewhere down the river the Patron came back up.  I had marched off into the bushes to take care of business....and Peter marched right behind me and said "oooh...that's gross."  To which I replied "YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK HERE".

There would be pictures of me rope swinging, but at some point the ziploc baggie I had put my camera in got a little bit of water in it...and this would be the last picture my camera would ever take.
So now I have no computer AND no camera.  Blah.  

I really had the best time.  It is awesome when you get a group of people together that can just relax and BE. 

Happy Monday!


  1. What a fun trip! I haven't been tubing in a really long time. Of course it is a hundred and infinity degrees in Texas...

  2. Looks like so much fun! You are soo gorgeous!

  3. Every time I think about floating, I think about that Ron White comment: "You gotta love floating in tubes in a river. Because y'all are drinking ALL DAY LONG, but no one ever gets out of their tube to pee. Someone could swim up beside ya and just let it go. You'd never know."

    Or something like that.

    And yes, Kansas rivers are full of mud....and cow poo. Don't ever wear a white swimsuit when floating in any KS river, you walk out with a brown suit. (not that I did that or anything.)

  4. Good times !! You look mahvelous !

  5. Awesome Photos! I'm glad you are having a fantastic summer! I miss you guys!

  6. Love tubing. LOVE IT! Of course, it is not nearly as fun with a 6 year old (sigh)...

  7. Oh I love tubing. Makes me miss home (Texas). I LOVE that blue bathing suit you have on!

  8. Oh man, getting river drunk is dangerous. You drink and drink and you're totally fine-- until you try to walk to shore. The river is also the only time it is acceptable to drink boxed wine, out of the box, straight from the spigot. I'm glad you guys had fun!

  9. Tubing is sooooooo fun! Thanks for reminding me!!!

  10. I went tubing this weekend too. We went on Saturday after a family b-day party. Were you out that day? We could've almost run into one another if so!

  11. Great pics!! That looks like a blast! And, I totally laughed my A off when I saw your comment on my last post!! In fact, I was laughing so hard that -- for the first time ever -- I let Steve see my blog so he could read it. (But Ames, let's stay together.. lovin you forever!)

  12. love, love, love your blog...will you be my facebook friend, pleeeeease??? :) You make me laugh!

  13. Looks like a lot of fun! You are really a wonderful person and we're all lucky to know you, even if just through fb and Blogland.

    You guys should come do some Oregon rivers and see what a real river looks like!