Excuses

"If it's important to you, you'll find a way...If it's not, you'll find an excuse"-I dont know who said this but I like them

I have been thinking awhile about excuses.  I make a lot of them.  Or shall I call them "justifications".  They are excuses.

I weighed 173.4 this morning.  And not because I am "big boned" or because I "have a lot of muscle".  I weigh 173.4 because I make poor food choices.  I weigh 173.4 because although I work out a lot, I could stand to do a little more cardio.

And the reason I don't do cardio is:  I DONT LIKE IT.  Not because I am too busy.  Not because it hurts my joints.  I don't do it because I dont wanna.

"I am healthy right now" or "I am the healthiest I have ever been" may be true, but I could be healthier and honestly...I should be.  So being complacent isn't a "reason".  The excuses I make up make me complacent.

Sometimes I struggle with the 'do I need to lose more weight question'.  I don't know how you find the answer to that one.  I certainly would not base it off of a BMI chart.  Those are bullshit.  And it's not based on my physical limitations anymore...I can travel, I can ski, I could bungee jump if the opportunity presented itself.  So then what do you base it on? Really at this point, losing more weight comes down to the superficial doesn't it? 

Smaller thighs, fitting into size 8's, a smaller number on the scale.  Are those reasons to lose weight?  Maybe. 

Miss Vickie was in my office the other day and we were talking about the "last 10 pounds (insert your own number).  And it's harder to find the motivation to lose the last #'s bc everything we were fighting for in the beginning...we have achieved.  Better health, better body, smaller ass. 

But back to excuses.  We all know what we need to do.  If you have the lapband, you need to diet and exercise.  Maybe not at the beginning, but after a little while...you are going to have to DO SOMETHING.  And then...guess what.  You are going to HAVE TO KEEP DOING SOMETHING.    And if the scale stops or things don't change...you are going to have to do MORE.

And you have to have the Want To.

It's funny that for those of us who chose weight loss surgery, there will come a time when you realize *shitballs* I am still going to have to actually be present to lose or maintain.  And even though we realize this, when we find ourselves not losing or not getting to where we need, we go back to things we should know better than to go back to.  Atkins, liquids, weight watchers.  Sure...I lost weight those few weeks I was on Atkins...but I gained it right back.

A "diet" is not the answer.  It's changing my diet that is 50% of the battle.  It is finding replacements or ways to eliminate the poopoo caca food.  It's making sustainable, reasonable, do-able changes.  Habits are a tricky bitch aren't they?

I need to go back and reread my blog, because I know I wasn't the perfect bandster when I lost 120 pounds in a year.  But I also vaguely remember seldom eating fast food.  I never drank regular soda.  I always drank my water. 

And then slowly...when you let yourself START doing the naughties...the naughties become the general consensus.

And then you are in trouble.

It seems that by now, a lot more of the bandsters who have been around awhile should be at goal.  Have you stopped and thought about that?  As for me, I know I still weigh the exact same I did in Chicago a year ago.  I still have the same outfits.  Should I be smaller?  Should you?  Should we?  And what about some of the bloggers that have dropped off the face of the blog earth?  Is it because "other things in their lives are more important"...or is it because they don't want to have to be honest.  Honesty is easy when it's all good.  Honesty is hard when you think it's going to make you look bad.  (please note I do realize that for some, bloggin just gets boring and it was a phase to begin with).

So for me, as it pertains to excuses, this all stemmed from "I am happy where I am at" or "I am healthy now"...and me wondering...is that just a "justification" for doing things half-assed?  Is it a reason?  Should I want it more?  Do I want it at all?

Don't you hate when one question leads to more questions and no answers?

I think for me, my focus is going to have to be just being healthier.  Which, if I would really focus on it, would probably lend itself to all of those superficial byproducts of health.  (see:  smaller thunder thighs).

Happy Monday bloggers and readers alike.