The Return Of Zumba & My New Favorite App

Last night I convinced a couple of my coworkers to go to Zumba with me.  I havent gone in at least a year, and they were both Zumba virgins.  You may remember Lisa, my former biggest loser partner at work (she lost 30 pounds during those 3 months and went from a size 8/10 to a 2/4...and this means she gives me all of her "old" clothes...which I love.  She has a heap load of 8's to give me...once I get there).  Wayne was the only guy in a sea of about 50 women.  I am letting Lisa wear my jingly skirt bc it makes everything better.  Both of them will be purchasing one for next week.

I decided to go to Zumba again because I am on a quest to up my cardio game.  Because my little love muffins, we all know that the old cliche phrases of : If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got and the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result...well, we know deep down inside that those are true (at least 99% of the time).  I can't expect to lose more weight if I keep doing what has been maintaining my weight for a year.

So, off to Zumba I went.  And sweet jingle jangle, I forgot how intense the cardio is!  It's even harder than running for me.  Within about 2 minutes snot was flying out of my nose, my non-waterproof mascara (don't buy mascara when you are in a hurry) was running and I looked like a sweaty Cleopatra, and I am pretty sure I was moments away from a heart attack.

But I prevailed.

And Lisa and Wayne loved it so much we are going every Tuesday night.  Awesome.

I also have a new running app that almost makes me want to run more. You could use it for walking as well.

It's the Nike + GPS app and it costs $1.99.  I have had several free versions before and found them lacking or inaccurate.  This app lets you build playlists right into it, talks to you if you want, you can sync with Facebook and it updates your facebook when you hit milestones and people can cheer for you and it tells you (I havent used that feature).  My favorite thing is it tracks your route and your pace.  You can see mine above.  Its color coded.  The dark dark red is where I stopped to tie my shoes, and the lighter red/yellow is where I was dying and hoping for a flying carpet to return me to home.

Its kinda fun though.  Like a game.

I have several meetings this afternoon, and I would rather wrap myself in barbwire and fry pork skins in a vat of grease naked, but I will persevere!  It's a three day weekend coming up for most of us.  I intend on abstaining from the hooch (beer, not diet sunkist), running at least once and doing hot yoga Saturday morning.

Kisses until next time!

Amy

The Weekend Recap

Well let me tell you friends, Travis's visit was actually a blast.  Both he and Heather love each other, him and my other light in the loafers bestie Nathan hit it off like two little queers in a pod, and we all had tons of fun.  We spent lots of time in the water, either at the beach or on the river.  We ate good food, and yes...drank too much.  As a result of such fun, I am up 3 pounds.  168.2 on Monday's weigh in.  Not too worried about it, although I would have liked to maintain.  My goal for next Monday is to lose those three and one more for good measure and plan on seeing 164 on Mr. Scale. 

We went tubing on Saturday, and we were waiting for our pick up.  When I met Travis at the airport, I was able to jump on him and wrap my legs around him....without the fear of snapping him in half.

This is what I like to call my sexy finger pose.  Please note the finger to the lips and the pointed toe.  Both very key.  That's Nathan loving me up.

Travis and I getting ready to rope swing. Oh my thigh...always large and in charge.

Sunday afternoon. Pensacola Beach.  Me and me lady.

Back on track today my friends!  What is so tricky about sugar and junk food is that it only really takes on slip for it to come back and rare its ugly, but delicious, head.  When you are trying to eat healthier, you will notice the first week is the hardest, and then it gets a little easier.  BUT, if you happen to eat a Sonic Oreo Blast...well...you must make sure not to give into your brain telling you MORE MORE MORE.

It really wasnt the eating that gave me a good 3 pound gain.  It was the drinking.  Damn you jello shots and beer!

Life is short though.  And when you friend is visiting, you may indulge...a smidge.

Happy Tuesday!

edited for Tessie Rose:  When he saw me, he just said "its so weird I can pick you up".  Or "its so weird you can dress like that", or "it's so weird that you are so small".  It wasnt as exciting as I would have hoped! 

Swimsuit Posing: 101

When posing in a swimsuit, one must be fully aware of their angles.  Also, be looking for props or humans that can block or shield any less than flattering body parts.

Example #1:  The tube hide

Note how the tube is hiding my dangly stomach.  Well played Miss Workman.

Example #2:  The Human Shield

If you can use people around you to block you...you are golden.  Stay golden PonyBoy.

Yet sometimes, even with this large swath of knowledge, there are swimsuit photo shoot mishaps.  Please see below:

Um...first, I am not sure why I hooked my thumb into my skin/fat side meat and pulled it forward in such a fashion.  Mistake #1.  And then...the thigh cellulite.  Damn you hail damage!

A visit from my far away friend

I know that I have mentioned my friend Travis before...oh at least once or twice.  In a nutshell, Travis and I had a little relationship that was terribly toxic for several years.  I "loved" him.  I was a doormat.  Travis was a drama queen.  You know, a classic case of girl-loves-boy-and-boy-treats-girl-like-shit-because-it-turns-out-boy-likes-boys-and-Amy-doesn't-have-a-penis-and-the-end.

Because when someone is unhappy with their lives, and they want to take it out on someone, and you LET them take it out on you...guess what happens my friends?  They usually DO.  But we were best friends with benefits for awhile.  And then just best friends.  But somehow I never really got over being lied to and some of the hurt, and so now we just text a lot.  The last time he came down was 3 years ago.  Before surgery and right in the middle of dating Tracey.  And Tracey was insanley jealous of Travis, Travis had a horrible little boyfriend that reminded me of an insect one needs to swat and kill, and ...it wasn't very enjoyeable for anyone involved.

Well he is coming to visit us on Thursday! 

I am excited to see him.  I wonder if it will be weird for him to see me...now that I am not 327 pounds.  The above picture was his last visit.  He has never known me smaller than 209.  209 is what I had dieted down to in 2001 for a trip we took...and I was conviced he would love me smaller.

Sigh.

We are SO stupid sometimes.

Anywhoozle, he is staying at our house.  I am a little nervous...as I am whenever I feel like I have to balance people's feelings.  Like, I want to make sure he is being nice and that Heather is comfortable, and he is comfortable, and blah blah blah. 

We are going to the Melting Pot Thursday night, having a boardgame/Wii dance party Friday night, Hot Yoga on Saturday, tubing either on Saturday or Sunday, brunch on Sunday, possibly the beach, and he leaves on Monday.  Wooo....jam packed.

Somewhere in all that fun, I have to try to avoid copious amounts of drinking, find time to workout, and keep my eye on the goal.  I am sad my camera is broken.

My birthday is coming up on September 8th.  I will be 27....again.  Nothing big planned.  I think I want to go to a nice dinner for my bday, just me and my lady.  I am thinking Hemmingways on the beach and then maybe some beach necking under the moonlight afterwards.  My parents are coming down that following weekend to dog/house sit for us because I have a conference that entire next week in Charlotte, NC.  Anyone close by?

Toodles for now!  Happy Monday

Let Us Hug: Goal Setting Monday

Well chitlins,  my goals for last week were no beer, no wine, and 2 additional days of cardio. 

I achieved 2 out of 3.  On Wednesday we took off work (MAN...everyone should take Wednesdays off...it makes the work week much more doable) to go tubing with friends whose parents were in town from Montana.  I was forced to shotgun a beer...even though I tried to tell them that PHYSICALLY I think my band makes it impossible...(they didnt listen but soon would have a clear understanding)...so I drank about half a beer.

And then threw it right up.  In front of them.  That'll teach them.

And then on Friday night I sipped about half a beer as well.

As for working out, I did circuit 5 times, ran on Friday morning, Hot Yoga on Saturday, and ran on Sunday afternoon.

Let me tell you that Hot Yoga was a different instructor this time, bc cute Colleen was "sick". He was very surfer dude, wore cotton shorts that became inappropriate at times, and talked to damn much!  It was also much harder than last weekend bc the girl next to me said she wanted to do "core work" and mommy hates core work.  We did do headstands again, and I have decided that this will be my next move to master.


I havent even tried it yet...but I will let you know. I don't even know how to get in this position.  It could be tragic.  I should have Heather video the first attempt.

Broke out the old polka dot dress this morning. Makes me feel sassy. Also makes me feel that one squat down without holding the sucker and it could be HELLO WORLD!  I have to squat like a lady. 

Last week I weighed in at 171.4, today it was 165.4.  6 pound loss.  Good times.

It's Goal Making Monday

Sometimes I wish I could yodel from a mountain top.

So to recap, last weeks Goals, part of the Amy is Setting Goals Again and Making Them Public Initiative, were:

No regular pop, no beer, no wine.
No unhealthy snacking
And something else I think.

Anyways, I am happy to report that I did not have one regular soda.  I did not have any oreos, cheetos, or candy bars.  I did not snack on crap.

AND, it should be noted that I should get an extra star because we hung out all day with friends at the beach, which included brunch with bottomless mamosas, sunbathing whilst others drank beer, and then frozen drinks at a restraunt.   Thank you very much...I drank water.  AND, on Saturday, Heather wanted ice cream (an oreo blast from sonic).  It was a full moon I suppose.  I got her one...and didnt get myself one!  Thank you very much again.

So for this week I shall stick to:

No regular pop, no wine, no beer.
No unhealthy snacking.
80-100 ounces of water a day.
I am adding 2 days of cardio on top of my circuit.  Friday I ran 3 miles on the belt of death (treadmill).  I watched Sex and the City on my iphone though, so it wasnt as horrible as it could have been.

My no beer challenge may indeed be a challenge this week though.  There may be a tubing trip (I didnt say no jello shots now did I), and we may be going to Defuniak...home of Heather and beer drinking.  But that is my goal.

I am down 2 pounds.  I am looking forward to seeing the 160's again very soon.

Happy Mondaying!

Tell The Sweat Drips Down My....

Greetings from Planet Monday!

On Saturday, with my girlfriend in tow, and my new local bestie Maddi....we went to Hot Yoga. 

The setting:  A little free standing yoga studio.  These classes are taught by true "yoga-ites".  No gym barbies.  A little crunchy granola.  There were probably about 16 people there.  I was probably the biggest person in the room.  That's okay.  I can handle it.

It wasn't as hot as I would have liked.  I wanted a sauna.  I would say it was probably 88-90 degrees.  Not much different than the temperature outside at 9 am on a Saturday in Florida.  We began with chanting.  Well, we didnt chant.  We listened.  Then we started the yoga.  The last time I went to this yoga studio was after surgery, but still pretty plump.  Maybe around 280?  For whatever reason, it was not as physically challenging this time.  Some of the stretches were tough, but I wanted more balance poses. 

There was this one:

The headstand.

It was awesome and OH MY GOODNESS...it is all core and lower back.  I flung myself up and held it.  It was much harder than my normal headstand...you know the kind they teach you when you are little and your hands and arms are out to the side like kickstands?  Well, in the yoga version, your hands are at the back of your head.

Now, Heather no likey balance.  And she was hemming and hawing and not trying it, so the Yoga girl came over and said "I'll spot you"....and she made Heather do it.  hahahahah....I was laughing inside.  Which caused me to fall over, forward.

Good times.

The sweating was pretty awesome.  I like it when my ankles sweat.

Funny thing about that handstand is there was woman right beside Heather who must have been in her 50's that was ROCKING that thing...this motivated Heather to practice when we got home. 

When you walk into our master bedroom, you can walk through and then enter our bathroom, which is galley style but has a water closet where the toilet is.  If you keep walking you get to our walk in closet.  Well I was in the closet changing and I heard Heather grunting.

I said "You better not be pooping Heather!  You better not be pooping with the bathroom door open".

More grunting.

I marched out and found her in the bedroom trying to do the handstand.

Thank goodness she was NOT pooping.

We both felt really relaxed after the hot yoga.  And what I really enjoy about yoga in general is that it is SO different than most other forms of exercising.  It's really more mental than physical.  You move at your own pace.  You breathe.  You relax.  It's such a good addition to what I am doing now.

Other than that, nothing too exciting happened.  Maddi slipped on her sweat and face planted her mat...that was funny.  Someone farted...it happens.

Who Dat Girl?

I was researching my OWN (um, not the Oprah Winfrey Network..put like my personal one) blog yesterday and found this entry from July 2009.  Just a few years ago.  I wanted to go back and see if I could find what was my "normal" when I was losing and rocking the band.  I have inserted any new comments in red!

Things I Do Well

  

So I thought I would make a positive post. Sometimes we have a tendancy to be a little bleak (note my previous post) and forget all the good we are doing. Let us start with the nutrition/food/band related good:

  

•I drink tons of water a day. Probably on average...120 ounces at least. It has a placebo effect for me and I feel better with each bottle. (say whaaat?  I do remember that I used to preach and preach about the benefits of water.  Oh how quickly we forget)


•I have gotten better at saying no to the junk. When my five little fingers hover ever so gently over the oreo package or pringles can...I can now stop and ask myself "Amy...what will this do for you? Does it help you reach your goal? Will it give you anything nutritionally?" And if the answer is no...I can walk away (more often then not). (say whaaat times TWO?  Where did this girl go?  Oh that's right, I've been muffling her with oreos and cheetos)


•I eat loads more fruits and veggies then pre-band. I eat fruit 3-4 times a day. (I do not recall this being true. It must have been fleeting.  But in all honesty, now I eat VEGGIES much more than fruit.  I cook with them in almost every supper/dinner I make)


•I rarely eat fast food. (well...this was true.  And it's actually not that hard to avoid fast food.  But once you start going...you just keep going)


•I bring my lunch to work everyday. (This is still true.  Breakfast and lunch.  Today I was out of my Atkin bars and even my back up Grape Nuts.  Which means I didnt eat breakfast, just munched on Pita chips off and on until lunch.  NOT GOOD.)


•I eat my protein first. (uh...no...well...mostly no.)


•I take my vitamins. (bwahahah...I go through spurts.  I do good for like 2 weeks.)


•I weigh myself everyday, and no longer get discouraged if the scale doesnt move EVERYDAY in the right direction...because I know it will soon. (I don't weight myself everyday anymore.  Sometimes I just dont care...in a good way.)


•I can share my story with others. (I feel my story is a little boring these days...I am like a grandmother lapband blogger...just talking about the old days.)


•I cook with healthier ingredients. (Fo' sho Fo sho'.  This is actually even more true now and it keeps getting better)


•When I shop, I dont even buy junk bc I know if it is in the house...I will be tempted.  (I still dont bring it into the house, but thats because I eat it in secret somewhere else.)


Here are some good things I do in life:

•I love with my whole heart.


•I make people laugh.


•I am creative and childish at times...which makes me a fav with kids.


•I swim like a mermaid. You wouldn't expect such a big girl to have that kind of endurance.


•I love to give.


•Even though I talk A LOT...I am a great listener.


•I am a pretty good cook, and thanks to the Food Network...I am getting better.


•I try not to get bogged down with the "what ifs" in life bc life is do damn unpredictable that what we worries about never happens and what we never think about always does!


•I am flexible (physically).


•I am a good daughter.


•I am quick and witty.


Here are some things that I could improve on. Just because I believe in full disclosure:

•I could exercise more. (well, this has changed for the positive at least, I can remove it from the list)


•I have a tendency to not say what is really bothering me...and then I harvest it inside until it comes out like a 5-headed dragon ready to devour flesh. (I am working on this and have done better since I found my Heather)

•I can get stuck in "my way is the right way and only way mentality". (not true.  I am very open minded.  As long as it's my way)

•I tend to settle (I am thinking professionally) (turns out, I was also talking about in my relationship at that time.  Not anymore.)

•I can't spell. LOL...I blame spell check. I was great in elementary school...damn computers! (spelling is still overrated)

•I should wear more sunscreen.

•I have let the best friendship in the world drift apart. (we talk more...still not enough)

•Sometimes my mouth needs a filter for my brain.

And that's it kids!  We didnt do Hot Yoga last night bc Heather "didnt want to"...so hopefully Saturday!

Happy Thursday!

 

Hot Yoga

I am PUMPED for some Hot Yoga tonight.  Do you remember years ago when I went to yoga with Mother Earth as the instructor?  I loved it.

So I am making Heather go tonight.  She is not really thrilled by the idea bc...come here...this is just going to be a little secret between you and me and the rest of the 797 readers...

Heather doesn't stretch.  And do you know what happens when you don't stretch and lift like a beast?  You get tight.  In other words, she not so flexible.  And Heather doesn't like not being awesome at something "athletic".  It will be good for her ego.  Because I have also found that people who think yoga "can't be that hard" have never taken a yoga class.  Anyways, she already has her pouty pants on. 

I will keep you posted.

A couple of other things I need to tell you about.

First, my neck/shoulder/upper back pain is still present.  I have decided that I am just old and will forever ache.  Then end.

This weekend I ate 2 hamburgers.  One on Friday, and one of Sunday.  I ate them...bun and all.  And sweet mother of beef and bands, they were good.  In fact, I ate them in under 10 minutes.  Can you believe it?  Did the band gate open up?  I dunno.  And it's kinda scary that I know I can.

Thank goodness I turned over a healthier leaf...or I would probably be eating one right now.

The Death of Regular Soda

Dear Pepsi and Coke...how I miss thee.

So far so good ladies.  No regular soda.  I had half of a diet sprite yesterday.  About 3 in the afternoon, a very lovely headache settled in behind my eyeballs.  I have another one right now.  The only thing I can figure is MY BODY IS GOING THROUGH CAFFEINE WITHDRAWAL!  Could it be?  So soon?

I am going to have a coke zero sometime soon (yuck).  Just to see if the headache goes away.

I didn't snack on crap yesterday...so that is still going well.

For Breakfast:
Atkins Protein Bar
1% milk

Lunch: 
Creamy black bean soup (yummo recipe...you can search for it on my blog)

Dinner:
Cajun Chicken Pasta (this is a Pioneer Woman's recipe...if you havent looked at her blog shame on you)

However, since I was so hungry and it is so delicious AND bc I ate too much....I puked most of it up.  Man...there is nothing worse than PBing spicy food.  So after that, I licked some peanut butter off my finger and sipped some milk.

I need a nap.  Happy Wednesday!

Food Inc and My Soapbox

I have been very eager for Heather to watch Food Inc.  As a lover of both the enviroment and animals, and an advocate for healthy eating...I always thought it was something she should see.

I watched this a couple of years ago.  And it is one of the reasons that when I can buy organic I do.  It is why I buy organic milk and organic eggs. 

The movie is NOT pro-vegetarian, it's not PETA propoganda.  It is not republican or democrat (it even goes to specifically name names on both sides of the aisle).  If I had to sum it up in one sentence, the movie is about some of the moral and ethical problems with our food system.  Not just animals, but crops, seeds, farmers, the FDA.

There is one problem with the movie though.  It's not for everyone...because not everyone wants to change.  Once you watch it, you have to do better.  Once you know better, you do better. 

So after going to our local library to check it out, we sat down on Sunday night to watch it.  Heather cried off and on throughout the movie.  I hadnt expected that.  And...she's been a little grumpy ever since...because the movie presents some problems with our goverment and regulations pertaining to our food that aren't an easy fix.  But like I told her...we DO get a choice.  We WILL do better. 

So if you have the time and want to, I encourage you to watch it.  It's actually showing on PBS tonight...so check your local listings if you are here in the States.

I was talking to someone about this today and she said "Yeah but, that's what the chickens and cows are raised for...to be eaten".  And I totally agree.  But it is HOW they are raised that is important. 

Have any of you seen the movie Temple Grandin?  It's an amazing movie starring Claire Danes.  And it's true.  Temple was born with autism in the 1960's, long before anyone really understood all of its facets.  She ended up creating and designing a more humane feedlot system.  And she said "Just because nature is cruel, we don't have to be".

Cows weren't meant to eat corn.  They were meant to eat grass.  You know what happens when they eat corn?  They get sick.  Think E.coli.  And how do they treat that?  Antibodics.  And those come to us.  It used to take chickens 68 days to be ready for slaughter.  Now with drugs...they grow faster and bigger. 
And do you know one of the problems with that?  The breasts are now so big that their legs cannot support the weight.  Many of the chickens can only walk a few feet and then have to lay down.  That's if their legs don't break first.

I remember in college when they first released the undercover video of T.Y.S.ON. chicken farms.  I was so heartbroken that I refused to eat that brand anymore...which means no K.F.C...since they are their supplier.  However, I didnt realize that also meant Taco Bell.  Same company. 

So it gets tricky.

I just read an awesome book called Food Rules.  I will share that with you tomorrow since I have been on my soapbox long enough already.

This is just going to be a huge push for me to eat healthier and make healthier choices.  It has nothing to do with the scale.

This part is at the end of the movie, and the way they present it, with "This land is your land" playing in the background, always makes me cry.


Things You Can Do

You can vote to change this system . Three times a day .

Buy from companies that treat workers, animals, and the environment with respect.

When you go to the supermarket, choose foods that are in season. Buy foods that are organic. Know what’s in your food. Read labels.

The average meal travels 1,500 miles from the farm to the supermarket. Buy foods that are grown locally. Shop at farmers’ markets. Plant a garden. (Even a small one.)

Cook a meal with your family and eat together.

 Everyone has a right to healthy food. Make sure your farmers’ market takes food stamps. Ask your school board to provide healthy school lunches.

The FDA and USDA are supposed to protect you and your family. Tell Congress to enforce food safety standards and re-introduce Kevin’s Law.

If you say grace, ask for food that will keep us and the planet healthy.

You can change the world with every bite.

Hungry for change ? Go to takepart.com / foodinc

Pulmonary Pirates To Pillage and Plunder

I never told you what name I went with for my Heart Walk Team!  Thanks to one of your suggestions, and there were several...we are officially the Pulmonary Pirates.  I of course am beyond thrilled, bc all of us can wear eye patches during the walk...

and come on...

who doesn't love eye patches.

There was a heated debate over the word pulmonary though.  SOME of my team members said it refers to the lungs, but alas, there are pulmonary arteries that are in the heart or connect the heart to the lung...or something...so there!  Take that.

Thank you for those of you who have donated.  I have raised $230 dollars so far.  We have a goal of $500.  If you would still like to donate, the paypal widget is on the right side of my screen.  You can do as little or as much as you would like using Paypal.  If you click on the HeartWalk widget, you have to donate a minimum of $25.

Every little bit helps. 

Just think...instead of sending me birthday presents (um...my birthday is less than a month away), you can just give money to people who have hearts....which is all of us!  Of course, if you would like to donate AND send me a gift...

well who am I to refuse?

My Goals For This Week

Fine.  I made a couple.

NO regular soda. 
NO unhealthy snacking.  And to define this, it pretty much eliminates all of my normal snacks:  cookies, candy bars, cheetos.
NO beer or wine. 

Yuck. 

This will actually be pretty hard for me.  It is so easy to get addicted to this stuff.  I went from a can of regular soda now and then to getting several huge "cups" (think gas station big gulps). 

But this is my goal.  I think every Monday, which happens to be my official weigh-in day, will be when I commit to some healthy goals. 

K. I am starting small.

However, if you have ever read The Secret, you know that I am already setting myself up to fail.  According to The Secret, by saying NO soda, I am actually programming my brain to think about soda.  So instead I should say "I am drinking only water". 

I digress.

Happy Tuesday!

More Amy Excuses: Part 2

What is that quote about if you don't know where you are going, you might get lost and end up in the backwoods, with a flat tire, and have to walk to a scary house where people want to turn you into a wax figure?

YOU know the one I am talking about. 

Karin.  Help me out.

One of my problems over the course of the last 6 months or so is my lack of commitment to you and to me. 

One of the things I always recommend to newbies is to set a goal and share it with the world.  When I started my journey I knew that I wanted 120 pounds the first year and I had mini-goals of 30 pounds every three months (I am a math wizard).  I told anyone who would listen out there in blogland, in real life, and all the imaginary voices in my head.  I didn't to let you guys down, and I didnt want to get off track.  I was focused.  And when I gained 3, 4, or 5 pounds during a week, I buckled down and lost it the next...and then some.

If I told you I was drinking 100 ounces of water...I drank it.
If I said I was giving up soda...I gave it up.
If I said I was doing a 5k...I did it.

Lately, on the rare occasion that I have said I am going to make changes...have you noticed I preface it with "I am going to try"?

And perhaps...therein lies the problem. 

What's that quote?  Do or do not...there is no try.  Didn't yoda say that?  Or Oprah? 

By NOT wanting to say I WILL do something (bc Lord, I might not really want to try that hard and thus fail) I am already failing.

And it stems from FEAR.  Yeah.  I said it.  I am afraid to set a goal bc I do not know if I have the motivation to reach it.  I am afraid to list specific changes that I know need to happen because I can justify it in my head.

Here is a great example:  Let us say I am drinking a can of Coke.  People, who drink crazy amounts of beer, will say to me "I can't believe you are drinking regular soda!"  And to them, and my justification in my head is "Oh really?  I can't have 140 calories of pure sugar but you can drink over 1000 calories in beer in several hours".

So I justify my regular soda with a 'well it could be beer' mentality.

Coo Coo

Or how about this one: "Yes I had oreos for breakfast.  But they were only 240 calories, same as my protein bars...so what's the difference"?

Our minds are cumbersome catacombs that are scary to navigate.

Onwards and upwards my fair friends.  Until tomorrow...

when I might finally get balls enough to set some goals (large lady nuts don't count).

Excuses

"If it's important to you, you'll find a way...If it's not, you'll find an excuse"-I dont know who said this but I like them

I have been thinking awhile about excuses.  I make a lot of them.  Or shall I call them "justifications".  They are excuses.

I weighed 173.4 this morning.  And not because I am "big boned" or because I "have a lot of muscle".  I weigh 173.4 because I make poor food choices.  I weigh 173.4 because although I work out a lot, I could stand to do a little more cardio.

And the reason I don't do cardio is:  I DONT LIKE IT.  Not because I am too busy.  Not because it hurts my joints.  I don't do it because I dont wanna.

"I am healthy right now" or "I am the healthiest I have ever been" may be true, but I could be healthier and honestly...I should be.  So being complacent isn't a "reason".  The excuses I make up make me complacent.

Sometimes I struggle with the 'do I need to lose more weight question'.  I don't know how you find the answer to that one.  I certainly would not base it off of a BMI chart.  Those are bullshit.  And it's not based on my physical limitations anymore...I can travel, I can ski, I could bungee jump if the opportunity presented itself.  So then what do you base it on? Really at this point, losing more weight comes down to the superficial doesn't it? 

Smaller thighs, fitting into size 8's, a smaller number on the scale.  Are those reasons to lose weight?  Maybe. 

Miss Vickie was in my office the other day and we were talking about the "last 10 pounds (insert your own number).  And it's harder to find the motivation to lose the last #'s bc everything we were fighting for in the beginning...we have achieved.  Better health, better body, smaller ass. 

But back to excuses.  We all know what we need to do.  If you have the lapband, you need to diet and exercise.  Maybe not at the beginning, but after a little while...you are going to have to DO SOMETHING.  And then...guess what.  You are going to HAVE TO KEEP DOING SOMETHING.    And if the scale stops or things don't change...you are going to have to do MORE.

And you have to have the Want To.

It's funny that for those of us who chose weight loss surgery, there will come a time when you realize *shitballs* I am still going to have to actually be present to lose or maintain.  And even though we realize this, when we find ourselves not losing or not getting to where we need, we go back to things we should know better than to go back to.  Atkins, liquids, weight watchers.  Sure...I lost weight those few weeks I was on Atkins...but I gained it right back.

A "diet" is not the answer.  It's changing my diet that is 50% of the battle.  It is finding replacements or ways to eliminate the poopoo caca food.  It's making sustainable, reasonable, do-able changes.  Habits are a tricky bitch aren't they?

I need to go back and reread my blog, because I know I wasn't the perfect bandster when I lost 120 pounds in a year.  But I also vaguely remember seldom eating fast food.  I never drank regular soda.  I always drank my water. 

And then slowly...when you let yourself START doing the naughties...the naughties become the general consensus.

And then you are in trouble.

It seems that by now, a lot more of the bandsters who have been around awhile should be at goal.  Have you stopped and thought about that?  As for me, I know I still weigh the exact same I did in Chicago a year ago.  I still have the same outfits.  Should I be smaller?  Should you?  Should we?  And what about some of the bloggers that have dropped off the face of the blog earth?  Is it because "other things in their lives are more important"...or is it because they don't want to have to be honest.  Honesty is easy when it's all good.  Honesty is hard when you think it's going to make you look bad.  (please note I do realize that for some, bloggin just gets boring and it was a phase to begin with).

So for me, as it pertains to excuses, this all stemmed from "I am happy where I am at" or "I am healthy now"...and me wondering...is that just a "justification" for doing things half-assed?  Is it a reason?  Should I want it more?  Do I want it at all?

Don't you hate when one question leads to more questions and no answers?

I think for me, my focus is going to have to be just being healthier.  Which, if I would really focus on it, would probably lend itself to all of those superficial byproducts of health.  (see:  smaller thunder thighs).

Happy Monday bloggers and readers alike.

How's that Scaling Back Going?

So if you recall, July was to be my scale free month.  And after a little text message from Lapband Gal this a.m, and a Facebook message from Zara last week, and another reminder and question from my Heather...

I weighed.

Last week.

I didn't make it a month.  I fell several days short.

Don't hate me.

But after I found out that my numerous aches and pains were going to prevent me from working out, I had to get an idea of where I stood.

OKAY?

I actually don't remember what the exact number was.  I think 175 something.  Which I believe is maybe 1 pound up from July 1st. 

So did I find it hard?  Not really.  I didn't miss it much.  I actually really enjoyed NOT knowing so when people asked me or when I wanted to beat myself up...I had no answer for them.  It was kinda freeing. 

It didnt help me eat better though.  I had hoped that I would be better behaved without the scale to tell me whether or not I was being too  naughty.  Eh...I still was pretty not good.  That's real fancy grammar.  Pretty not good.

Anywhoozle, the truth is this.  Just like Catherine posted a few days ago, working out has saved me.  It allows me to eat with a little less abandon.  It keeps me in check.  And it has helped my body tighten up more than some.  But I am talking weight training people.  And I could go off on a tangent...but alas, I will save that for another post.

So all in all, the no-scale experiment was really not that big of deal.  Didnt hurt.  Didn't help.  It was just different.

I am working on a choo choo train of deep thoughts related to goal setting and weight loss, but I need to find my happy place before putting fingers to keys...but stay tuned.

Happy Tuesday!

The Tubing Trip

This weekend I organized a little tubing trip. Where I am from, the land of Kansas, our rivers are really wide, really shallow, and generally...mud.  Down here in Florida though, there rivers are like those fantastic "lazy rivers" at theme parks.  You rent some tubes and just float down...for hours.  You rent tubes for your coolers of course.  You stop on sandbars.  You meet other river people.  It is the most fabulous use of money in my honest opinion. 

As you take a gander through the selected pictures (just in case you didnt want to look at the 199 I posted on facebook)...please realize a few things.  #1.  Contrary to what you may witness.  I am a lady.  #2.  I made the yummiest jello shots with absolute mandarin vodka.  We were going to stop at every sandbar and do a shot...but...um...we made it 2 sandbars in (about 10 minutes), and we had polished them off.  #3 We took approximately 75 beers with us.  Their were 7 of us drinking said beers.  We ran out.

Ooh, and somewhere down the river I met these lovely people who had Patron.  You know mama loves her some.  I swigged it right out of the bottle like a champ.  I liked those people.  Later, when I was going off the rope swing...they chanted my name.  Aw.  Good times.

And as for my neck.  Funny...I didnt feel a thing whilst tubing.  Come Sunday morning...that was a different story.

Me and my Nathan.  I love his Sunday bonnet.  He is my Bear Cub.

This is Maddie (aka Tits).  She is Peter's wife and possibly my new bestie.  She was teaching me how to shotgun a beer.  At first I thought this meant someone was going to put it in their mouth and spit it in mine...and THAT did not sound like fun.  But for those of you who are also unawares, you poke a hole in the can, put your mouth over it, and then open the can and chug.  Even preband I couldnt chug.  Didnt stop me from trying. Here I am just licking the can.  I am a good licker.

Um...you arent supposed to pour it all over you.  Even pouring it out like that, Maddi beat me.  I promise her beer was gone in under 15 seconds.  It was amazing.

Here is Peter.  We were trying to do that famous buttshot from Sports Illustrated.  It didnt work out.  And I dont know why someone let me take 8000 pictures with a crushed beer can in my hand.

I have no recollection of the picture below.  However, according to the timeline I must have been thirsty.

And Peter helped.

Some of are crew.

Please note that everyone else is holding beers.  I am holding food.  Go figure.

Maddi and Peter.  Both high maintenance but tons of fun.  They work out with us. Peter is actually training for an ironman.  We decided somewhere on the river that he will be one of our sperm donors.  I will be the recipient.  Maddi is fine with that, as long as they have theirs first.  Heather will get Nathan's (bear cub) donation, bc they are both so gay that their gayness will cancel each other out.  Their words.  not mine.

me and my lady...waiting for the bus to pick us up before the fun began.

I figure at least once a summer there needs to be one of these pictures.

And that's it!  Somewhere down the river the Patron came back up.  I had marched off into the bushes to take care of business....and Peter marched right behind me and said "oooh...that's gross."  To which I replied "YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK HERE".

There would be pictures of me rope swinging, but at some point the ziploc baggie I had put my camera in got a little bit of water in it...and this would be the last picture my camera would ever take.

So now I have no computer AND no camera.  Blah.  

I really had the best time.  It is awesome when you get a group of people together that can just relax and BE. 

Happy Monday!