Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Hair In All The Right Places

So.  That's it.  It was like sign or something that I had to post about this.  It's on every blog I look at.  I can't ignore it any longer.

HOWEVER...

As I find out more and more of my family members read my blog, I do think about lady-fieing my blog posts...making them more lady-like.

I can't do.  So father...if you are reading this...now may be the time to stop. 

It's time to talk about our favorite subject:  BODY HAIR.

First, we shall start with the decent topic of facial hair.  Someone asked me many moons ago on here if my facial hair has decreased since losing weight.  Remember...it was my theory that all the fat hormones that were surging through my body were like hair fertilizer if you will to my whiskers.  I hoped that upon losing weight, I would have less old lady whiskers.

Alas.  My theory did not hold true.  Apparently, much like a field of deeply rooted oak trees...once they are there...they are there to stay.

I shall henceforth blame my facial hair on my mother's side of the family.  The Roether Whisker Gene is alive and well.

Now.  Yesterday I checked out a new blog, thanks to Lapband Gal.  She's not a band gal, but she is funny.  And she may have changed my life forever.  She had a very funny post about her own pubic hair and stated this: "Well Dr. Oz said that the real evolutionary purpose of pubic hair is to absorb odor and disburse pheromones to attract a mate."

Oh. My. Gosh.

So if I actually had some in would increase Heather's desire for me?  After finding this out yesterday, I quickly called Heather and told her my new plan and that I was going FULL BUSH.  Hello troll-hair...here I come!  She is going to be on my like white on rice. 

I don't think I can do it though.  I don't think I can commit to a grow out.  But...just in case...I conditioned my stubble last night. 

Moving on, this morning I read Kristin's latest post on her accidental Brazilian.  And I loved my comment so much that I had to post it here...because I really do want an answer.

My comment:  is buttcrack hair removal standard fair with a Brazilian? I am really only asking for my own knowledge, as no one has every waxed my lady station...but I would like a smooth choco-starfish as well BUTT I think it would really hurt.

Always a lady.

One time my mom tried to wax the back of my thighs for me.  I was on all fours and she put the wax on and I remember every time she went to pull it off, I scooted across the bed away from her.  I no likey the pain.

Happy Tuesday!

13 comments:

  1. LOL --- yes it's standard for Brazillian (though occasionally, a spa will say on the menu that they don't do that part). Shockingly, it doesn't hurt at all!

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  2. ahhh! I just for my first brazillian 5 weeks ago before the wedding! I've been dying to tell someone about this...Ican't believe I am going to write this...So I'm there getting waxed, she has me hold my legs in the air so she can do my bum...she made a face and said oh hmmm, I can see you've never trimmed over here....apparently I have a hairer then normal butt crack! Why the hell didn't anyone ever tell me this?!? I was so embarassed. She had to go get some scissors to trim my butt hair before she could wax it! But then she did it, and now its all smooth like a.... babys butt!!! I ordered numbing cream online specifically for waxing and it nu,bed me right up, barelly felt a thing!

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  3. OH MY GOD! Thanks for the comic relief while I'm at work for a gruelling long day!
    I don't think I'll be signing up for this any time soon!

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  4. Full brazilian - yes! But you can get a French bikini, which is leaving a little bit. Seriously you should try it, because it'll last so much longer! But yes, it does hurt. Only for a second though!

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  5. Hi! Thanks for the link! You are totally adorable. I love your plan for the full-on troll style goodie basket/mate lure! You could even dye it green for novelty. Hey, I say, it's your sugar cookie and you should decorate it however you want to!

    As for the brazilian and smooth choco-starfish, I have to say (from experience) that the most painful part of it is the humiliation factor. The waxing/tugging wasn't so bad. Just do the magic cream... it is pain and humiliation free.

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  6. So you put the cream on yourself before you get in there? lol Or do they have cream for you? Now I'm confused! When I call should I ask..."hey do you have the numbing cream?" Or should I just go buy it myself. haha As you can tell I've never done the waxing myself!

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  7. Kristina- I bought the cream myself on amazon, its called 'No Scream Cream' so appropriate lol

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  8. OMFG! I am literally choking I am laughing so hard! LMAO @ choco-starfish!!!!

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  9. WOW. Troll hair huh?! LOL

    Yeah, that is standard with a Brazillian...doesn't hurt...until you manage to let go of your leg and accidentally glue your butt cheeks together with hot wax...UGH. Yeah, only me...I swear!

    BTW...I nominated you for the Adorable Blog award... :)

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  10. My mom is actually the "go to" at her work for brazillians. Her clients won't go to anyone else if she isn't there! She works at La Bella Spa in Merit Island. I'm not sure how far that is from you, but if your ever in that area, She'll hook you up! LOL! She tries to get me to do it all the time, but I'll have none of that (at least until the belly is small enough for me to admire it!).

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  11. I think that I will save the brazilian bushwacking for after my loose skin is removed... so at least I can stare at it without 3 mirrors and a tripod. I am afraid that since my head hair has darkened over the years... I will not be able to drop my pants to prove my redheadness...anymore if they wax it all off. I guess I need to get over my redhead and dye it up. Something fiery like me! How did I manage to jump from between my legs to between my ears?

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  12. I no likey neither, you are a RIOT...LOVE to your blog lady!

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