Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Lady Talk About "The Station"

Vagina.


There. Now we can talk about anything. And I have. I have talked about my lady station, ham wallet, dangly bits, in detail. Do you remember Mr. Turkey from the era of "bloggers talk about shaving their pubic hair"?


Well. It is fair enough to say that Mr. Turkey's waddle was, and is still, an accurate depiction of what's going on in my business region.

And it is also fair to say that since I was a youngster, about the time when I discovered my first little sprigs down there, I have had a love hate relationship with "my girl". Mostly hate. Don't like it. It's ugly.

Well, something happened yesterday. And I knew in my heart of hearts, you would want to know about it.

I got out of the shower and was sitting in the bathroom "hoovin" the bottom of my feet. You know..using the sandpaper thingie. And I started looking at my freckles. Well, I was following my freckles and noticed a few on my inner thigh and a couple close to my inner buttcheek, and then I noticed a freckle right outside of my cha cha.

Thank you tanning beds.

But as I was plundering around looking for potential skin cancer I realized...

I no longer hate my vagina.

We have made peace.

And I don't know when or why this happened. I will tell you one place I have not lost weight is in my actual dangly bits. Still dangly as ever. And since I have lost weight in the meaty section of the cha, the danglers are more pronounced. But...I'm okay with it.

And perhaps its because I am a, how shall we say this...perhaps because I am with a woman now...you kinda have to be cool with the vagina. It's not really an option. So maybe being forced to accept it has helped.

Regardless. I think it's life changing.

I know it just changed yours!

Well, I bet a couple of you are going to look for vagina freckles next time you are nakie.

So go forth and make peace with your junk. Shake hands with it. Hug it. Give it a pat. Life's to short to be angry with it for not looking lady like.


18 comments:

  1. Such a timely and appropriate post as I am going to the lady doctor today and while I was "preparing for the visit" I found a freckle too!

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  2. Oh my god, Amy. This post is an instant classic.

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  3. haha! I am not very fond with my bits either. I think for the most part va-jay-jays are ugly as hell. haha

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  4. I sit here shaking my head, lovingly, I assure you, and wonder how you come up with these things? Heather surely has a place in heaven, actually, I can even picture her shaking her head!

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  5. Speaking as one of those bloggers involved in The Great Whootenanny Shaving Blogopalooza of 2010, I can say: This tops all of that. I think I need to go make my own peace with my vagina now.

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  6. Hey girl, they dont hold those conferences with a whole lot of naked women and mirrors for nothing! I watched an amazing doco not long ago about women and their view on their vagz and a guy who did plaster casts of vagz so everyone could compare and I think the problem is we've all been taught to believe we should look like a little piece of skin with a (for want of better words) a slit in it and NO ONE looked like that - NO ONE!! We're all spare parts put together! I've always been a very self conscious turkey gobbler but having experienced "the love that dare not speak its name' and a few other special moments where I have been assured by many (and varied) that I have in fact a very beautiful set of beef curtains I am now a convert. Thank you for bringing awareness to this subject Amy - perhaps we should start a movement - love your vag - a pro vag army - go the vag! Long live the Chacha (we could have Tshirts like the Che Tshirts!) think about it we could be like St Joan of Vag!! I'll stop here.

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  7. Still too big to really hang out with my vajayjay, but looking forward to bonding in the future.

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  8. This is awesome. But let me just say...wait till you have a few kids. A whole new landscape to explore!

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  9. I have to admit I have become a little bit obsessed with looking at my skinner vajayjay lately....it's certainly not as plump as it was....I think it is more becaue, for the first time in my life that I can remember, I can actually see it without a mirror! Thanks for the laugh!

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  10. I can't wait to see my lady station without a mirror.

    I love this post!!

    Amy you are hilarious!!!

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  11. I am glad you love your vag. They are love-worthy, no matter what. Even if one dangly bit dangles more than the other, as is my case :)

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  12. LOL that was awesome!! that was too good. and also rather theraputic and helpful. i shall take your advice and "make peace with my junk". :D

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  13. You are a more evolved woman than I. I don't no that I'll ever shake hands with the ax wound....the ham wallet....the bearded clam....the beef curtain...the hair pie....the hoo-hoo.....the pink taco.....the fur burger.....the man in the boat.....or whatever you like to call it. (too far?)

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