Amy Tired. Thoughts Are Sparce

And so it has arrived.

Wednesday.

I am pretty sure this may turn out to be the longest day of my life. I didn't sleep very well last night, and I woke up early to workout...which is normal for me on Tuesdays and Thursdays (I wake up at 5am and circuit is 6:30), but Wednesday's I usually work out over lunch...but not today because...

I get my fill today! I get to see Dr. Friedman and I didnt want to be a sweaty pig beast!

SO, I ran on the treadmill this morning and spent some time stretching. I miss stretching. I dont ever do it anymore...and let me tell you sumpin...after doing weights month after month...your muscles get a little tight.

Anywhoodle. Back to my fill.

I should tell you that my restriction is sad, sad, sad. And it's been that way for months, months, months. Although I still get stuck about once a week, it's always my fault and usually results from trying to eat like a completely unbanded person. But this will give you a good idea of how loose my band is.

I can go to sonic and order a regular sized cheeseburger, take off half of the bun, and eat the entire thing right out of the wrapper. In less than 5 minutes. Pizza, cupcakes, onion rings...all right down the old pipe-ola.

So I am excited for my fill, but also a weensie bit nervous. I mean shitballs...I am going to have to:

a) chew my food (such a hassle)
b) eat slow (I have returned to shoveling)
c) actually think about what I am putting in my mouth

Man...it's hard to be me.

As for yesterday, the first day of the BL challenge, I can tell it will take awhile for my mind to understand that we are getting back in control. I had to run some errands for work and kept passing fast food restaurants and would say in my head "oooh, I can stop there and get (insert bad food choice)"...

I had to say NO AMY! You have soup at work!

I also have milk chocolate chips in our pantry at home. They are left over from making Christmas goodies. They live in a ziplock baggie. Sometimes I sneak a few in my mouth when Heather is not looking.

So last night I threw some down my throat and then skipped back over to the couch to cuddle. About 3 minutes later, we here a noise coming from the cupboard. We look over and it turns out the plastic baggie, in my haste to hide it, must have been barely on the damn shelf. It dropped, scattering chocolate chips all over the kitchen floor.

As I hustle over to scoop them up on my hands and knees Heather said "Did you eat some of those?"

humdeedumm....I can't hear her

Then she said, "AMY IRENE WORKMAN...dont ignore me. Did you eat some?"

DAMN YOU FOOD GODS FOR CURSING ME WHEN I WAS TRYING TO BE ON THE DOWNLOW. DAMN YOU!