I hate when I want so badly to blog about something, but that something involves the lives of others...and I want to respect privacy...but this something is totally breaking my heart and has wove itself into my daily functions that I am just going to put it out here, with the least amount of personal disclosure for the person involved.
My lapband doctor is not doing well. He is battling a pretty serious health issue. And I am afraid for him. And I scared, and worried, and heartbroken. He is a young, kind, funny, successful doctor, really at the beginning of what I could only imagine to be a tremendous career filled with so many opportunities to change lives...
And yet he is faced with this huge obstacle.
I dream about him. And I know YOU know that I have dreamt about him before (can you blame me?), but these dreams are on the up and up. I wake up sad. And today, while I was working out, I started to cry.
Whenever I do sit up ons the ball, I always put one hand over my port. It sticks out and I like to hold it. I pretend it's the easy button. Anyways, feeling my port made me think of him. So I moved onto lunges, and then the tears started. I kept my head down long enough to pull my shit together....but still.
It's just another reminder that life is so unpredictable and you never know when...It makes me mad.
And so I scheduled a fill for January. It's not like I cant walk over to his office and pop in, but I want some time with him to give him a hug and tell him honestly...if there is anything I can do...let me know. I also need a fill, because even though I can still get stuck at random times, I am pretty much operating on very little restriction.
So there you have it.
I may delete this post after a few days because I am not sure this is my business to share...but I wanted to let you guys know.