I wanted to preface this post with the Light Version of Things I Will Never Understand, bc I knew that I wanted to write about some more serious issues in this one. So if you are reading out of order, go back and read the other post...have a giggle...
There are some things that I struggle with on a daily basis. Things that I just can't understand. And most of those things deal with other people. Other humans. And in all honesty, I don't know if I SHOULD even try to understand...bc people are crazy. And that is a fact.
But I do not understand, what I will now term as, Perpetual Miserites. Perpetual Miserites are people who live in the village of perpetual misery. They wallow around in it, cover themselves in it, and then scream or moan from the pile of horseshit they have created about how miserable they are. And because they are so miserable, they want...with every ounce of their being, to make others miserable.
That is the only thing that brings them "happiness".
I do not understand these people.
It is true that life comes with no manual. No "How To" for easy living. And it is true that some people had shitty childhoods, or crappy parents, or shitty partners and lovers. But I do not believe, that ultimately, that gives you an excuse to be a shitty person. I believe that on most days, most of us have a choice in the way our day, week, or life is going to look. As I write this, and in all the thought I have given this over the last few months, I am fully aware that when I complain or feel sad that I am not putting up my Christmas tree this year, or that I hate my living situation...it is my choice where I live and what I choose to do or not to do.
It really is up to me.
And sometimes we make sacrificies because there are often more human beings that rely on us or are tied to our actions. Most of us don't operate independently.
I don't understand wanting or choosing to bring others down.
And here is where I struggle. Because I don't understand it, because I don't believe in it, and because it is the opposite of where I come from emotionally and mentally...I am not sure how to deal with it.
I want to shake Perpetual Miserites and say FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! But the other part of me, the Good Amy wants to show them that no matter how horrible they are, I will not be horrible in return. But that can become exhausting. And what ends up happening is I do become Bad Amy and decide to give them a dose of their own medicine. Which doesn't feel good...but I want to say "Why am I trying if you aren't"?
I typically would say rid yourself of these negative people. I hear you saying now "Well, you have a CHOICE don't you Amy". And you are right. I do. And I am choosing to try and deal for awhile. I am trying to make the best of what it is right now.
Yuck. I hate that.
So I don't know what the best way to deal with the situation is. I don't know how to be the better person. I don't know if I should ignore or try to lift the Miserite.
And do you know what REALLY chaps my hide? When these people who are nothing but assholes to you for weeks on weeks, then want something from you.
WHAAAAAT? You gotta be kidding me right.
But there is that part of me that wants to help because I think it is the right thing to do.
I just don't know.
What I am trying to do is focus on the happiness in my life. I am trying to remind myself I shouldn't give power or energy to an evil spirit (it's like playing with a Ouji board...never a good idea). I am trying to find respite in what I do know, in who I do love, and what I know is good.
I welcome your thoughts though.