Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Do You Ever...? Me Neither

  • Do you ever get stuck and find that when you fart...it eases the pain just a little? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever look at your hand held shower head and think of the possibilities? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever imagine that the button in your car for your hazard lights is really a button that once pushed, launches a missile from under your car, blowing up the car in front of you? No? Me neither.
  • Does Martha Stewart ever make you feel like your a domestic failure because you don't know how to use a jig saw to make a relief portrait of an owl on your pumpkin? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever hate wearing a thong for the simple fact that you must be a meticulous wiper? No? Me neither.
  • Do you still fear that a good nostril clearing sneeze might also clear your bladder? Just a wee bit? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever just feel like standing on a table in the middle of your office with a sign that says UNION...just like Norma Ray? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever have a naughty dream and wake up so horny, that you want to sit on your partners face without even waking them up? No? Me neither.
  • Do you ever think you should have more boundaries in what you post about on your blog? No? Me neither!

28 comments:

  1. LOL NICE!
    totally made me laugh out loud today. which you're good at. i agree with most of your statements though...what does that make me? hmmm...pondering thoughts.
    thanx so much for being you. i just absolutely love you! you're funny, witty, hot, and a bunch of other things i can't think of at this moment, as i'm on my first cup of coffee. i'll get back to you though.
    beware, could be a long list. ;)

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  2. Ha ha ha ha ha! You made my day with this post!

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  3. I totally WISH my car had a missile attached! That would be too cool! And yes, to the thongs....that's why I don't wear them anymore!!

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  4. pfffttbwaaahhahahahahahah!!!
    You are hilarious.

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  5. I am also a "me neither" on quite a few of them. :)

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  6. HAHAHAHA! I had to keep from laughing out loud in my cube!!

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  7. LOLLLLLL
    That was great.. more please!!

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  8. Did you ever want to post something so humerous that people comment "Gee, that is as funny as somthing Amy W. would write." You are too funny and I needed this laugh today.

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  9. Oh My! What an imagination you have my dear! Hilarious!

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  10. OMG...that was hilarious!!! And uh...yeah...me neither. To most of them. So, that's how you spell missile.

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  11. LMAO... sure you dont think all those things Amy... arhh good times love ya work xx

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  12. Uh nope, me neither....never. ROFLMAO!!

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  13. AGGGHHHH!!! I love the one about Norma Ray and the union sign! The only thing is that I work in HR and we have a union. I have to say, the union really is a pain for the most part. Just saying.

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  14. Hahaha-- now I don't feel so bad about posting on my own blog about how sex is so much better after weight loss :)

    Which it totally is.

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  15. Love this post!! Made me smile!! And Im soo sorry I didnt hit up all my Florida friends while I was in Mobile :( We were there for like 24 hours and it was jammed packed! But next time....next time I promise! AND...whatever you want to know about Cades Cove just ask! We had an awesome trip!!

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  16. You never cease to amaze me.. love your work as usual.. You made my day.. you randy little tart.. lol
    xx Nene

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  17. Hilarious! I love your blog already and I've only been reading it for about, oh, 2 hours? I cried a little after reading one of your beginning posts, about when Tracy first found out your real weight--my husband's reaction was pretty much the same (except I told him just before we met the doctor the first time).

    Anyway, I was just banded on Oct. 30th and my blog is relatively "fresh" so feel free to stop by and say hi! www.daegufatty.blogspot.com

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