Well, do you remember how yesterday we visited the topic of real life people reading our posts. This would be a prime example of when I wish only my BOOBS new who I was.
Regardless, when does that ever stop me?
Yesterday I went poop.
(applause)
And I swear, although I didn't get a hand mirror, that sucker came out breech. Sideways. Backwards. Width-wise. I don't know...but I had to quit mid push. And I resigned myself, through tears and beads of sweat...that I would just change my address to 123 Toilet Lane.
So then I remembered a passage from my friends book (the great Dalia Lama), when he talked about monks being able to meditate and focus while sitting in the snow (and couldnt feel the pain)...so I tried to do that myself.
No workie.
So I briefly thought about the finger sweep method I learned years ago in CPR...you are supposed to use it to clear a throat...but hey...
Then finally, gravity helped out and the episode was over.
And because Heather doesn't like to talk about poop...you get to read about it.
Now, the point to this story (YES, there is), is that I believe that they should better prepare you for the change in your bowels after surgery. 21 months later, making business is still not the same.
Just so you know.
Happy Tuesday my friends! And as the old irish saying goes, May the wind always be at your back, the sun on your face, and your bathroom experiences pleasant!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
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I no likey poop talk. But for you - I read this and didn't throw up. I love you.
ReplyDeleteHmm, never the same, huh? That is interesting. My step-father keeps asking me weird questions about how my bathroom experiences are going to change, and I never really have an answer for him. Good to know! Thanks for the share!!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteOne minute it's the squirts, the next it's a ginormous dookie. Sometimes a turdectomy is in order. Glad it all came out well! Let the sphincter rest awhile...it's probably still quivering.
ReplyDeleteI'm still recovering from Jo's visual. But I've been there, in that place you're describing, and I feel ya. Glad it's over for you. Keep up the water and fiber! And stool softeners (not laxatives, just softeners) can make a big difference.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe glycerin suppositories too. I've never tried them, but had to do it for my son once and it did seem to help soften things up so the exit wasn't so painful.
ReplyDeleteSo true, so true. Also, FYI, in my natural childbirth class we actually spent considerable time practicing holding ice in our hands for as long as possible -- to see how far we could get through the pain using visualization. Because, well, cold hands is TOTALLY the same pain level as pushing a watermelon out of your vagina.
ReplyDeleteYikes!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Awesome story to read....as I'm sitting down to eat my lunch.
ReplyDelete:)
Amy! We must be kindred-poop mates! I've done everything, including bribing those little suckers, and they still refuse to leave my body. I've told the hubby that I firmly believe that they're barbed, and try to hold on for dear life!
ReplyDeleteCascara Sagrada? That's helped me slightly..... now I go every 3 days. I have serious poop envy of those every day types. ::::::sob::::::: that used to be ME!
I kind of like the new changed pooping regime. Not the painful bits (as in breech birth) but it is mighty convenient to only go every few days. I look at it this way..I just don't eat enough to form enough poop to fill up the space to work the food in food out regime and yes I know it is probably not healthy!!
ReplyDeleteHaving said all of that I found that a glass or orange juice before dinner was all I needed to ease the breech-birth suffering.
By the way..the comments were almost as good as your post!!
xxxooo
You poor little thing! Unfortunately, I can so relate. I use Benefiber in my coffee every morning. I still have a few episodes like yours much not very often. You always make me giggle though!
ReplyDeleteOh geez :\
ReplyDeleteOh honey, I understand all too well. I just finished eating my GNC Fiber Soft Chews (citrus flavor) for lunch dessert. I will have a Fiber One bar for a snack later. A handful of fiber gummies after dinner will round out my day. If I stray from this routine for longer than a few days, it becomes painful. Ugh.
ReplyDeleteI take a stool softener everyday with my vitamins... I will never laugh at the constipated again. It is a painful experience for those of us eating mostly protein. Ladies, Prepare yourself for wanting to dance an Irish Jig when it all comes out alright... finally and you are not split in half! I adore you, Amy, for the courage to talk about the taboo Poo Poo. *Maria*
ReplyDeleteEeeeewwww. But I thank you for your honesty. I'm 2 months out and it's not normal...but maybe this is my new "normal"?
ReplyDeleteYou can certainly paint a vivid picture.
ReplyDeleteFeelin' for ya! I've so been there... feet braced up against the bathroom wall... praying for a miracle! Hope the next one goes better!
ReplyDeleteI suppose things are fair after all. I have no problems in this department. Same as pre-op. But you, however, can drink carbonated beverages. I've seen the photos.
ReplyDeleteHummmm, glad everything came out ok.
ReplyDeleteOMG I totally understand...I love you.
ReplyDeleteOh my god do I know that feeling. I started dumping 1/4 cup of benefiber in my protein shakes in the am to help me. :)
ReplyDeleteA breech poop hurts! lol
ReplyDeleteOMG LOLOLOL. Thanks for this and thanks for all the comments too!!
ReplyDeleteBabes if you are having trouble with poop that hurts just wait until you give birth (one day?) It will seem nothing in comparison and yet.. look at what you get at the end. A happy tummy lol.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read breech birth I though wow cool Amy saw a baby born maybe she even delivered it hahaha!!! Thats how my midwife brain works!
ReplyDeleteI hear your poop drama's I really do.. xxx