Just in case you didnt know already:
1. I cuss A LOT. And I like it.
2. I am a lady.
3. I need to go shopping.
4. Yesterday on Facebook, I posted a list of things I want. They include but are not limited to: skinny jean, boots, pearls, a diamond, a leather (or pleather) jacket, shoebooties, a pair of jeans that fit (yes, a different pari than the skinny jeans), a pair of slacks from the GAP (they have a great new line), to ride on the back of a fourwheeler, to lay under the stars on a blanket with my girl.
5. I am super horny. There. I said it. I feel like I am a 14 year old boy who just found a stash of porn. It's time for some sexy time people. I am stepping up my game.
6. Do you know that on Oprah yesterday, they said that 73% (or something like that) of people look at their poop? NO! I do not look at my poop thank you very much. I dont even stand up until its flushed. You know why? Please refer to #2. That's right. I am saying it. If you look at your poop, you are not a lady. End of discussion.
7. Heather said something the other day in reference to an old picture of me. I believe she said, "Damn babe! You were BIG." She didn't want me to tell you because "I don't want the BOOBS coming after me". That made me giggle. Can you just picture it now? The BOOBS mafia.
8. I have been eating COPIOUS amounts of food this week. Sneaky eating. Hide the wrapper at the bottom of the trashcan eating. Have you ever ate so much crap in a short period of time, that when you go to eat more crap you aren't even excited about it? Yeah. Welcome to my Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.
9. I am thinking about getting a facial. But what if they see my lady whiskers?
10. Heather and I are going to a Halloween party. A costume party. And do you know what? I can say that I have never, in all of my 31 years, been to a costume party. I know you will find this shocking, but I don't really like them! So much pressure! But we were invited to this party of very grown-up "power lesbians" (read rich and successful)...Anywhoozle, I am sure it will be a great time but there are several issues. First, Heather doesn't really like to dress up. And second, she wants me to be sexy. Well shitballs. So after throwing around many ideas (for example, her being Popeye and me being sexy spinach....SEE....I told you I suck at costumes), I am going as sexy teacher and she is going to be teacher's pet. Which basically means I am going to put a collar on her and have her on a leash for the night. Which really works for me in several ways.
11. When we were in Chicago, Jen, Drazil, Jenny and I were walking around on Saturday and it was a bit chill chill outside, and I was dressed in a tank and flipflops...and we were hungry and so we stopped by the Ghirardelli store. AND SLAP YO MAMA, they had pumpkin flavored hot chocolate. It was so good I could have dry humped the cup right then and there. AND, they were giving away sample of the the pumpkin chocolate bars. Anyways, I have been dreaming, and craving that hot chocolate for 3 weeks now. And they don't sell it online. It may be the end of me.
12. I am looking forward to this weekend. Gonna do a little shopping, go visit and spend time in Defuniak Springs with Heather and her family, go to see Jerrod Niemann in concert (currently my favorite CD right now), and just BE.
Kisses my little rays of sunshine!