Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Barbie Life Lessons

I have posted this picture before in one of my previous blogs, but I love it so much and it goes with the post so I shall post it again.

Talking about Barbie yesterday spurred other Barbie thoughts. I played with Barbie probably until I was 12. I had this HUGE trunk of my barbie stuff I would haul around to off-site locations (like my grandma's). I feel sorry for my friends that I used to play Barbies with because I would dictate what their Barbies should say to my Barbies. In retrospect it was amazing I had friends back then...bossy I was.

Here are some other lessons I learned via Barbs:

1. Cutting Barbies hair does not result in the desired effect one is trying to reach. After watchin Working Girl sometime in the late 80's, I was inspired by Melanie Griffins haircut in the movie. Remember...she went from this

To this
It didnt turn out so well for my Barbie. She looked like a mental patient straight from Girl, Interrupted.

2. When my mom told me not to use my new hair crimper on Barbie, I should have listened. Turns out Amy learned the hard way that Barbie's hair was plastic. It melted all over my new crimper and I was in TROUBLE!

3. When you are using a hair dryer to blow dry Ken's swimsuit, do not place said blow dryer directly on the fabric of Ken's crotch. Again, it turns out that such direct heat melts Ken's little polyester waders.

4. I also learned that I am lucky a psychologist never saw me playing with my Barbies bc they did "IT" a lot! What can I say. I watched a lot cable as a kid and had an older brother who had lots of dirty magazines.

5. I am thankful everyday that my arms bend more then a 45 degrees.

6. And finally, I learned that when my mom told me to pick up all my Barbie stuff or else she would throw it all in a garbage sack and give it to some little kid that would appreciate it...she meant it!


  1. lol, Bandita...if you are laughing...mission accomplished!

  2. My sis and I were closet Barbie players until 14. I sill like brushing their with my nieces, so relaxing!

    My Barbie's had a lot of sex, too. Our babysitters watched soap operas so our Barbie games mostly centred around an evil, sexy Barbie who stole all the Kens and the other Barbies would try to to get back at her (most often her name was Farrah) and fail.

    We also pioneered the sanitary napkin as Barbie bed technique.

  3. Hysterical. Ahhh... memories of playing with barbie! thanks for the chuckle!

  4. Trust me, your Barbies weren't the only ones who "kissed"! :) And I had NO TV or magazines....hmmmmmmmmmm...... Okay, so I am not going to go there.

    Thanks for the laugh!!! LOL

  5. Oh man, our barbies were going at IT all day LONG! They were very sexual creatures those barbie dolls.

    Ya know what's interesting is the only barbies my kid owns are ones given as gifts. I suddenly have something against barbie!!!

  6. I always liked that ad by The Body Shop too. At least, that was the first place I saw it. I still have the Barbie I gave a butch haircut to. I handed it down to my younger daughter only two weeks ago.

  7. Apparently all our Barbies were full time ho's. :) I never let my Barbie marry Ken either,she had her own Penthouse and that was cool with her- she just needed a little "something" from Ken.

  8. Each of my Barbies had a profession. There was Doctor Barbie, Hairdresser Barbie, Interior Decorator Barbie and so on, and Ken was their Man ho'. I always coveted the Pink Van for Interior but alas, she never quite earned enough money to get that sucker on the road. Fun memories.
    PS I was still playing with mine at 12 also. Must be the magical number! Great post, Amy, I'm still giggling.

  9. hahahaha...these are some of the funniest comments ever! I love it! Linda you crack me up and Cara, I can't believe you said Man ho'! And Brooke I love that you made barbie beds out of maxi pads! hahahah

    THanks for making me laugh back!

  10. Love the ad for Body Shop. I used to work for Body Shop (at Home) doing parties because I believe in their core values. Particularly regarding the body and community trade. I even was lucky to meet Anita Roderick over lunch/cruise in Sydney (one of the highlights). She was an amazing woman!

    As for my Barbie, she liked her men more masculine and never fooled around with Ken, she was always on her back for GI Joe! She was also a Rockstar with her own Band...never a princess when I was around!

  11. My barbie was a real trollop... she would get onto boys and girls, whoever was willing to climb into her red velevet four posted bed.. Maybe thats how she gets her hot figure.. Hmm, give me an idea... Hubby!!!!
    xx Nene

  12. CONFESSION: I played w/ barbies until I was about 14 and my older sister hounded me everyday begging me to stop b/c the whole neighborhood knew. Hehe! Now that she's 30 she admits she enjoyed playing barbies w/ me until I was 14 and she was 20. *smile* Ahhh! I'm glad though b/c the facination went from barbie to boys. Ohhh and mine were very sexual, freaky creatures. My mom spoiled me (I'm the baby) and I had "barbie world". Our guest bedroom turned into barbie land w/ the snap of my fingers and I had houses, cars, clothes, vet shop, grocery store, etc. It was nuts! I even got bored w/ regular play and made "barbie movies" w/ a video recorder. hahahahahaha! I still remember that! I loved barbie!!!!!

  13. I love that real life Barbie picture. So true.

  14. I was the Barbie fan who collected them through high school and my early adult years. In fact, when I got fired from my job at Sears after I'd had my daughter, selling portions of the Barbie collection (I had over 200 in mint condition in boxes at that point) kept us being able to pay our bills for a few months, selling them on eBay. Barbie - that bitch is perfect for EVERYTHING.

    My own daughter a few years ago had this intense desire to have a couple of Kens but her dolls were never doing the deed. My sisters and I observed her playing with them one day and found out that she'd decided that so many of her dolls were girls and she only had the two Kens that the Kens would be gay so that the girls wouldn't find over them. They went shopping with the Barbies and drank coffees and one of the Kens was a hairdresser.

    Now that she's 9, she's getting a tad more elaborate. She switches up their clothes and gives these long personal histories on the dolls, none of which are named Barbie anymore. She tells where they came from, if their parents got divorced, what their talents are, etc. It's this character history which cracks me up.