Two of them to be precise. But it is so frustrating at times when you see something like this:
Do you see it? I KNOW you do. But just in case....
I mean, I WORKOUT. I squat, I lunge, hell...sometimes I actually do CARDIO! I leg press, I kettlebell. And yet...those damn thighs haunt me. And granted, my thigh is next to Heathers muscles sticks, but I am really talking about the cellulite more than the size. But they do kinda resemble a turkey leg standing straight up. Alas, when I saw this picture I was so sad. It just seems like after several years of working out, it would be better than it is.
But oh well. We shall overcome. And if not, at least if we are ever flying together to Alaska, and plane crash in a frozen tundra, and if I go to that big buffet in the sky...you all can dine on my turkey thigh for several nights. It will be my final gift.
Several months ago we went to the zoo...and this big feller was walking around loose. And his waddle reminded me of something...that's right...my labia...
Do you remember that post from March 2010 about shaving my whootananny? You can find it here if not...it is a proud moment.
Our kitty kat, pictured above in her lady pose...has been bringing us things with faces. Usually frogs and assorted lizards. Sometimes they are dead. Sometimes they are dying. Well the other night we were sleeping and I remember hearing a squeaking noise and thought it was odd that Honey May's ball sounded so weak (she has a super annoying squeaky ball). Then I heard something slam into the bed (I believe it was kitty kats head) and thought, for one second, she had a mouse. And then I fell back asleep.
Heather wakes up a later to get ready for work. She comes back to the bedroom from our bathroom which is connected to our walk in closet and says that there is a mouse in there. Alive.
I spring out of bed BUTT NAKED. Usually I sleep in underwear, but I must have been trying to get some action that night (fail)...anyways, I dash to the kitchen, grab and oven mitt and and empty cereal box and go inot the closet. I guarantee it was ATTRACTIVE. My bits were dangling, by boobs were flopping. I was squatting, whispering to myself and Heather "it's just a mouse, it's just a mouse". Well that little sucker shot out like a ball from a cannon and we both started screaming...shoving each other around in the closet. Then, imagine this. I am bent over. One hand and one oven mitt on the ground, trying to see under the racks. It's quiet.
Quiet as a MOUSE.
(that was good...come one)
And that thing runs by me again and I swear to you, I went on one hand, two feet in the air donkey kicking. It had to be a beautiful sight.
Long story short, we caught it after awhile and I released it.
Since then, more lizard deaths have occurred, one mole death, and one live mole. Which I managed to save and release back into our yard so it can continue to destroy our grass.
There is never a dull moment in our house.
Dont you wanna come and visit?