The funny thing about food...well...I guess it's not really funny because I'm not actually laughing....but shockingly sad to think about is...
My world REVOLVES around food. This is not a particularly new revelation, but sometimes I find it daunting and overwhelming. And then, I can't really think logically about it. Meaning...I can't imagine that there exists a person out there that is thinking about food all the time. And I know there ARE people like that, like Heather doesn't think about it ALL the time. But for some people is food really just fuel?
How insane that would be to go a day or...this is crazy talk now...TWO days in a row not thinking about what I want to eat, what I should eat, what I have eaten, how many calories, how it will translate to my thighs...
And I think that is why I go crazy eating. Isn't that the basis of binge? Denying yourself until you find yourself covered in cookie crumbs and bacon bits? But even when I operate on the "non-denying diet", you know...what I am doing right now...
sometimes it just gets so overwhelming that I say FUCK IT DUDE! I am going to eat whatever I want.
But I can't even enjoy that! Because the entire time I am thinking about how I am going to SO regret it.
I don't know if I have ever identified as an emotional eater. But sometimes I get a peek-a-boo at the Amy that may indeed eat of out emotion. Clearly I eat of of boredom, but sometimes when I feel real glum, or when something "bad" happens that stabs my good mood right in the heart...I think FUCK IT DUDE! I might as well eat melted cheese and cream filled cookies because my life sucks.
WHY dont I have all the answers! WHY?!?!?!?!?!
Anyways. Happy Wednesday friends.
I hate drinking water.