The Holiday That Everclear Almost Ended Me

Shall we start with some comparison pictures from Memorial Weekend 2009, which would have put me 4 months post op and at least 50-60 pounds down....to this Memorial Weekend...weighing in at 182.

2009

2012

2012

2009

I would post some comparison shots of me skiing....but wait...there are none from 2009.  I tried to get up.  I couldn't.  That's when I made it my goal that by Memorial Weekend 2010, I would ski.  Being able to water ski again is one of my biggest non-scale victories to date.  Despite that fact that I actually love the act of skiing, I love that my body is at a place now that I CAN ski.  It's nice to know that I am getting better with age. With that said, skiing stills WHOOPS MY ASS!  It was amazing how quickly my damn forearms started to give out!  I mean...I LIFT WEIGHTS!  I should be able to endure a couple of trips around a cove!  Even Heather, who prefers to ski on 2 skis, said her quads were immediately on fire.  Funny.

Now let's get to the real funny of the weekend.  So up to Scottsboro, AL we go.  In the full body shot of me skiing above, you can see my parents houseboat in the background.  This is where they live.  My sister came with us and we met my brother and niece (both from Nashville...which is about 2 hours away).  So it was a weekend of family fun!  My sister, not really a drinker, requested that we make her a Voodoo.  Which is some version of a drink she had in New Orleans once, that according to her, contains grape juice and Everclear.  So on Saturday, around 3...we mixed up a batch in the blender.  Granted, I used about half a bottle of Everclear....but shush gurl.  That's not the point.  Anywhoozle, we split the blender pitcher amongst 5 adults.  Myself, Heather, Kaity, Tracy, Dean.  5 ADULTS I SAY!

In about 15 minutes I was drunk.  Al (my dad) was nervous bc several of us were doing spectacular water sports...like jumping from the top of the boat:

And backdives.  Please do not zoom in.  I believe you can actually see my thigh fat in motion.

And so it went.  We were all happy.  Heather and my sister were floating on the island.  The best $130 spent at Sam's Club ever...I mean...we Workmans are big folk and it could hold all of us and stay afloat.

So all was well. Here I am...probably around 4:55pm. Happy. Posing.

And then here I am. Probably around 4:56pm. And the Everclear had taken it's grip.

It went quickly downhill from there.  Marge (mother) set out a tacobar, and rumor has it I made myself a taco and ate some of it.  I then felt like I was going to throw up, so I told everyone I was going to the bathroom, but really I went to the  back of the boat.  Heather found me.  My mother took this picture.  WHAT KIND OF MOTHER TAKES A PICTURE OF HER DAUGHTER PUKING? Mine! 

After that, I did actually go the bathroom and stood over the sink dry heaving for at least 20 minutes. I kept asking for Heather, but she had gone on the small boat with my brother (bc we were taking both boats back to the dock).  This upset me even more, because I swear...I was pretty sure I was dying of alcohol poisoning.  Kaity, my wonderful niece was trying to take care of me as I was sobbing and requesting the hospital.  My mom came and made me stand in the shower, which I did...holding myself up and wailing and sobbing that I was dying.  Once Heather got back, she was very patient as I kept repeating things like "WHYYYYYY?  WHYYY did you leave me" And "WHYYYYYY?  WHYYYYY is no one else sick".  She eventually got me undressed and in bed.  So by 6pm on Saturday night, Mr. Sandman Everclear took me to night night land.

Around 1:30am I woke up.  I felt normal.  I ate some icecream bc the back of my throat was raw.  No hangover on Sunday, thank God.  I may never drink again.  Seriously.  It was terrible.  Band seemed fine...which I was surprised due to the fact that I was dry heaving for at least an hour.  Woooo....of course the next day the entire dock full of my parents boat friends knew of the episode, so I had to endure lots of jokes. 

It's the price we pay I suppose.

I will leave you with a few other pictures from the weekend.

My sister.  Clearly enjoying her Voodoo!

 Heather and Dean.  So proud of themselves for pulling the giant island on top of the boat.  I was puking off the side of the boat by this point...about 5 feet away.  No one pays attention to me.

 Al and Dean.

 The Beautiful Heather Gainey.  Enjoying a beer and a damn VooDoo.

 My niece Kaity.  I love this picture.  She looks very happy.

 Driving the little boat out to swim.