I thought of a funny story while driving home yesterday! My mind has the most wonderful tangents...so I will share how I got there.
I had to stop at Walmart on the way home. I hate this particular Walmart and was thinking about the scary people that sometimes make googly eyes at me. That made me think of the military boys from the base down the road, and I was thinking about what if they made a mean comment about me....like a fat comment. What would I do? I thought that if they did (this has never happened to me, but I was playing "what-ifs") if they said something mean to me I would take a picture of their face with my cell phone. When they would ask me why, I would say "So you can remember what your nose looked like before"...and they would say "before what?" And I would say "Before this..." and I would punch the mean boy in his nose and break it.
ANYWOOOO, this imaginary story got me thinking of the 2 times I have been involved in a fight...once was in 9th grade when this girl was talking smack on me and I punched her. The other time was in 8th grade and I was at a party. There was this horrible nasty bully there who was a super slut. She hated me bc...well...cuz I was me I guess. I was sitting on a table, being cool, listening to the song Informer by Snow (do you remember him?) and she told me I should go on weight watchers.
I told her she should go on ho-watchers. I thought this was so clever and was laughing when a bright light reverberated inside my brain and out my eye sockets. When I could see again I realized she has slapped me. I kept laughing. She left.
I have never been in a fight in my adult life but in my mind I am a legend and am pretty sure I could take a bi*&^. No hair pulling either. I have seen Million Dollar Baby. I teach self defense at work. But at the end of the day...I am a lover not a fighter and would probably just come back with some witty comment and then go and cry in the bathroom.