"Most of the time it was probably real bad being stuck down in a dungeon. But some days, when there was a bad storm outside, you'd lookout your little window and think, "Boy, I'm glad I'm not out in that." -The real Jack Handey
Someone recently asked me about food. What do I do now in relation to food. How do I deal with my emotions if I can no longer use food as my crutch. This was a difficult question for me to answer. I remember people asking me this before surgery as well...and I couldnt answer it then. So I thought I would turn it over to you guys and maybe you can help me and this other blogger with some of your ideas.
Now Oprah the Wise says that we all eat for a reason, not just because we love food. I have given much thought to this over the years. I have never been the kind of person who pigged out when I was sad. I am not Bridget Jones, I dont grab a tub of ice cream while singing All By Myself. I dont/didnt necessarily eat when I was stressed. I just ate all the time. Nowadays I totally recognize I eat when I am bored. I want to fill the time by munching on yummy things.
Food wasnt really my friend. I didnt eat to get fat because so I would feel safe. I just ate. And I ate like it was going out of style. I ate like I grew up during the depression or the great potato famine.
So I dont know Oprah. Maybe the "why" I ate is so deeply buried in my psyche...that I need therapy to figure it out. But, you know how they also say that we replace on addiction with another? I don't know if I have. I don't know how or when it happened, but my relationship with food has and is slowly changing.
It is a tough thing to explain when I dont really understand it myself, but it goes a little something like this. During my pre-op diet that initial burst of weight loss felt so good! I was like YES! and my doctor was very upfront with me and told me that it is possible that the band may not work...so I was motivated to make sure it did. And the weight starting coming off. I got to 20 pounds, and wanted 30. I got to 30 pounds and wanted 40. I worked on choosing food that would give me something...satiety, nutrition, protein, etc. And somewhere along the line, this has started to become the norm. My habits changed. Obviously I still eat naughty from time to time (ie donuts and cheetos last night), but things are different.
So what about you guys?
Ironically, my joy of cooking has grown with the band. I watch the food network like a crazy person. I love to try new recipes. I love to cook and even cook yummy desserts. I get some enjoyment out of watching others enjoy food. Odd? Perhaps?