When I posted this I am guessing I was about 40 pounds down. I also thought I looked pretty good! Now I see this and say holy slug bucket! I start to pick at different things...my belly, by pants being too big. But at the time...I thought I was pretty hot! I didnt pick myself apart. As you all know, I post pictures of myself on here in various states of undress...from bikini, swimsuits, workout clothes, etc. When I am in the moment, I feel pretty good about myself. Do you think this is some sort of self protective mechanism? I don't untag myself in pictures on Facebook. I guess I figure if someone took the picture of me...they already know what I really look like! Now if I was buck naked riding a saw horse while knitting...I MAY untag myself...but I would have to think real hard about that!
I have always loved having my picture taken. Perhaps the case of denial I had/have is one of the many things that let me get to 327.
Everything is relative. When I think about me starting at 327...(148 kg) when I was there I didnt feel huge. Fat yes, a big whale...not really. Odd. But that leads me to picking a goal weight and how I feel about BMI's.
My doc didnt set a goal weight for me. Never discussed it. I just picked 170 out of thin air bc it sounded far enough away from 200. I have only ever been as small as 209 in my adult life, and I liked my body at that weight. Not at the time of course, but looking at pictures now it wasnt bad. That is a size 18 for me...close to a size 16. So I picked 170 thinking that maybe it is a size 12/14. I want to be out of plus sizes. I want to feel healthy. I want a "nice" body and for me that can include some cushion, just not rolls.
To be out of the overweight category according to a BMI scale, I have to weigh about 135. ahahahahahaha.....lol..hahahahah....no I can't imagine that ever happening. I don't care if it really does. For me, my BMI number is a sad representation of me. It takes in no account of my muscle to fat ratio. I had to google the scale since some many peeps are talking about it lately.
What I am trying to get at...I can't imagine myself 170. I can't imagine myself "normal", or thin. I keep waiting for the weight loss to stop for good. For those of you who have always been "fluffy", can you really picture yourself not fat?
Just my deep thoughts for the week! Love you guys!