Tuesday, July 13, 2010

If I die before I wake...

This could be it my little love muffins.

Mama could be called home this evening.

I am being forced...FORCED I tell you...to do a running club tonight. I had never heard of running clubs before I moved to Pensacola. Possibly because they didnt exist in Kansas, or possibly because I was to busy eating my way through the world of fast food...regardless...they are a hot ticket down here. You go to a bar or restaurant and they have the running club thingie. Tonight it's a McGuires Irish Pub. There is a 5k route and you can either walk or jog it. My coworkers have been going for years. I have been avoiding it for years...like the plague.

Unfortunately, my girlfriend has started going and thinks it will be "fun".

She is delusional. Hot...but delusional.

Currently in Pensacola, the temperature is...oh I dont know...one hundred thousand degrees. Basically, its like taking a magic school bus ride to the center of the sun.

And yet...I am going.

Peer pressure sucks.

Why couldnt they want to try drugs instead?

UGH! Healthy people.

So I wanted to write this one last blog, in case I perish in the streets of this God forsaken town this evening. If I do survive to see tomorrow...I will let you know.

Until then...go in peace. Chew with your mouth shut. Always look at the toilet seat when you leave the potty to make sure you arent leaving any stray tinkle or hair behind. Be kind to animals. Laugh at bad outfits. Make out in inappropriate places with people you love. Wear your seatbelt. Eat some chocolate. Be happy.

24 comments:

  1. be happy baby! love the post...see you on the dark side!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this..a tinkel or hair behind!!
    But at the ending do you get to have a cocktail??? this may make it worth it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. If they meet at Pub and end up at a Pub, how bad can this running club be??? Sounds like it could be fun! You are turning into one of those healthy people! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. God speed Amy...
    We'll see you on the other side.
    Maybe you can just stay at the pub and drink??

    ReplyDelete
  5. LOL God willing Amy!

    Excellent post & good luck buttercup!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Looks like you're not in Kansas anymore TOTO.
    Good Luck

    ReplyDelete
  7. anything that starts and ends at a pub can't be that bad! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pretend to pass out from the heat at the very beginning. Being a fellow Floridian I understand, it's so hot I hate walking to the car some days.

    ReplyDelete
  9. McGuires Irish Pub is the BOMB!!

    I know you'll enjoy every minute and every mile :)

    ReplyDelete
  10. What kind of 'club' is this? Sounds about as fun as the "Putting needles under your fingernails club" and the "Sleeping on a cactus" club.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The things we do for love......YIKES!

    ReplyDelete
  12. can't say i'm all that envious, but sure do hope it was better than you feared!!!!! Glad to see you back :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Is it humanly possible to transfer my addiction from food to your blog? It must be possible because I am ADDICTED to you and your hilarious blog! Please come back from your running club!I big fat heart you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Bleck! Don't these people know it's illegal to be running outdoors in Florida when it's this hot out? I hard boiled my brain just walking to the car today. Good night and good luck. At least you'll be a beautiful corpse.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Running Club= My Own Personal Hell. Ya, this mama don't run unless I'm being chased with a knife. A BIG knife.

    Don't die. Peace out sister!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I live in Orlando, and when I walked outside today... There was no air to breathe... It feels like a million degrees outside. I certainly hope being slightly farther north gives you a few less degrees of heat to deal with...*Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at Band Camp..." Check out my blog at mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your new girl must be good for you: your posts sound more like the Amy of old - funny and self-depreciating lol. Kisses girl - and go have fun.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Love your parting paragraph... great rules to live by!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I think if it starts and ends in a pub it can't be all that bad...and I like how you just casually throw in ..."my girlfriend has started going"...just so natural and happy...and out there! xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Amy - Here in North Texas they call them "social runs". I too have been suffering from pressure to do this as there is "no excuse" when it's right down the street. My reply: well it's a "social" run. I have been diagnosed as "anit-social" so I can't do it and will provide a doctor's note (forged of course) to prove it. I don't think this is going to hold out much longer and kinda pissed at myself cause it has been "cool" here for the past couple of weeks and "only" 104 with the heat index. Can't wait to hear what you thought. Maybe it will spur me to give in!
    Fluffy

    ReplyDelete
  21. You should totally write a book. You are so much fun to read! If you write one, I'll buy it. Even though I'm gettin' it for free here ;) hahaha

    ReplyDelete
  22. I totally missed this post. I hope the running club went well.

    ReplyDelete