Do you know what I just realized?
It has been nearly 6 months since my last fill! That is mind blowing. And the crazy thing is...I still don't need one.
In those 6 months I have lost over40 pounds. I am certainly looser than I was after my last fill, but still...that doesnt mean I need another one. I can eat foods that when I was at my tightest I could not eat, but still....no fill.
For example, at my tightest I could only eat 1/4 of my Spaghetti O's. Last night I ate an entire can. At my tightest I couldnt have dreamt of eating a roll. Now, on a good night...I may be able to.
Since Gen posted moons ago about thinking about restriction in a different light, I have tried to really pay attention to if I need a fill. Instead of thinking "I don't get stuck that much" or "I can eat more types of food", I think in terms of how long can I go before I am really hungry? Do solids hold me? Do I feel real hunger.
It's really very interesting.
As for the lack of weight gain this last month, that's a miracle and a blessing. I wasn't pushing the envelope or eating super bad, but I wasnt really present in my eating. If I wanted cheetos, I ate cheetos. It was nice to be free of my scale. It was very strange that I couldnt or didn't weigh. It was freeing though.
Now my scale lives with my at my sisters. Now I am trying to be aware of my eating habits. Now the damn scale is up.
*oh, p.s. As for the title of my post *WORD*, I have decided after seeing Sex and the City 2 and hearing Samantha say it...I am joining the movement to bring it back.
So today, whenever anyone says anything that you agree with...just say it.
For example, a conversation might go like this:
Someone: "I can't wait to see Amy's panty port show".