At some point, when you start a blog with a specific topic as the focus...I believe you come to a crossroads. You have to decide to either stick to the topic, or let the blog morph into something more. Does a lapband blog stay a lapband blog or does it does the lapband just become PART of the story?
Some of you are also very good a privacy. Catherine, you come to mind.
And then there is me. I have always been an open book on my blog. And thankfully, this has never come back to bite me. And it is important to me that one of the things so many of you have told me that you love about me...is my honesty.
So my internal struggle has been...what do I share now? Because, and I know some of you will find this shocking, I have a tendency to share too much. And sometimes I think the world revolves around me. AND, I am trying to think of others. But here goes nothing, and here goes me trying to keep it short and sweet.
A few months back I posted a picture of Heather and Tracey showing off their guns. This was one your first introductions to Heather. She was/is our trainer. And she is now my girlfriend. Tracey knows. He knew as soon as I knew it was more than flirting. She makes me very happy. When I am with her, I know I am where I am supposed to be. I could go on and on about her, but simply put...when I am with Heather, I feel like I am home.
Now the questions that are racing through your head...I shall attempt to answer them:
Q: Have you lost your mind?
A: Not so much
Q: So...are you GAY?
A: I am in love with a woman. That makes me whatever you would like to label me.
Q: Have you ever been with a woman before?
A: I have kissed girls in my younger days...but never more than that. I have always known though that I could love either a man or woman. Love is love. Like I told Drazil, we fall in love with a person's soul, heart, and mind. The rest is all a bonus :)
Q: Does your family know?
A: Oh yea. For over a month now. When I told my mom she told me that she thought I had gone crazy. When my mom told my dad he said "Eh, I'm not surprised".
Q: Do your coworkers know?
A: Yes
Q: Are you just trying to get on Oprah?
A: Damnit! That's a good idea! Do you think it would work?
Q: Uh...is it hard dating someone who is 120 pounds of solid muscle and works out like a beast 5 days a week?
A: Not really. It makes me want to work harder myself.
Q: How is Tracey handling it?
A: As well as he can. He is kind and trying to adjust. He and Heather actually hugged it out the other day. He is a great man.
Q: Are your roomates in Chicago safe? Or should Sherry and Alexis wear turtle necks and sweatpants to sleep?
A: Well, they are both pretty hot...so no guarantees!
So there you have it folks! I am still me. Still Amy. I have felt like I have been keeping a secret from some of my closest 460 plus friends. Now I can get back to talking about my ladybits, saggy tits, throwing up and peeing at the same time, and all things that are important in life.
You can email me with any thoughts or questions. I love you guys!
Welcome home sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteWell...I guess she is extremely cute. You need to be happy and it sounds like you know what it is you want. <3<3 As ever, thanks for sharing...you certainly are NEVER boring, I'll give you that! {hugs}xx
ReplyDeleteI sense that in the pic of you two on the beach, I am totally not surprised, my friends joke I have a gift of reading people. Find happiness where you can no limitations.
ReplyDeletePS. We (the royal I) support you 1000%!
ReplyDeleteOh yeah I admire your courage in this and all things. Your honesty rocks just like you do!
ReplyDelete(it took me 20 minutes to get my comment to take)
The thing I have loved the most about you from the moment I found your blog...you're real about who you are, what you do, and why you do it. It has made me feel like so many more things are possible in my life and given me the courage to stand up to Old Tracy and embrace New Tracy. And really, it doesn't matter what's in the pants of the person you choose to share your life with. You're still our Amy...the world's most famous bandster blogger!!
ReplyDeleteI am glad you decided to share this with us and I hope Heather continues to bring you the happiness you've found with her.
Amy, whoever you end up with it doesnt matter. Its your happiness that matters.
ReplyDeleteTo be completely honest with you, I had an idea from a vlog you made awhile back. You kinda hinted something plus all your pictures with Heather, well, you can just tell. You two look very happy.
happy you're happy! and i love your dad's response...
ReplyDeleteyour answer to question #2 should be "I'm AMY" :-)
ReplyDeleteand joey being joey said it best
xoxo
oh and as soon as i saw those pics from the weekend i knew, there is no way to hide the love in your eyes
Wow, woman! WTG for getting it all out there. How exciting. What does Heather think about your blog and what you share? (BTW - I am just a follower because my good friend had her LB surgery today and she turned me on to your blog a few months back, we share a great name and you crack me up!)Amy P. :)
ReplyDeleteI love u!!! The same thing in my familly with a very very very close familly member whom I love with all my heart! It doesn't matter who you love you need to be true to yourself! I am crying with happiness here for you honey!! Xxx
ReplyDeleteI haven't been following you for that long, but honestly, I could see it in your last pic of the two of you. There was so much love in your smile and the way you held on to each other. I don't think anyone could have said it better than Joey up there: Welcome home.
ReplyDeletei am so proud of you for this post. however, i do not take back the comment i said when you first showed us heather...she is fucking hot. you have done good, grasshopper. (and how fucking cool is it that you bagged a trainer...lol)
ReplyDeleteon a serious note, if you EVER need someone to talk to about this crazy thing called lesbomania...i am here for you. i will make sure you have my real email address. it seems like you have a great support system in place with an accepting circle of family, friends and co-workers. but if you ever need someone to ask questions to or vent to, i am here. Tracey will be ok.
having been in, and seen, many pictures of women in love...i can say with confidence you are in the right place at the right time of your life.
one more thought....i am so proud of you for coming out in this forum. when we live our lives honestly we chip away person by person, situation by situation homophobia and hate. i mean who can hate gays when they see how hot you are????? lol.
kisses....but more importantly a strong hug for you.
now, on a personal note...i hope when i hit my goal weight i don't wake up and fall in love with a man! EEK! grossssss. lol ;-)
Well it sort of looked that way from the picture and words on your last post. I am so glad you are being you! And I think Chicago will rock for all of us. I don't remember there being a heterosexual requirement. As you said and I love this quote from you: "we fall in love with a person's soul, heart, and mind." We don't fall in love with a penis or boob (unless you're Draz). We still love you.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, I had an inkling from your last pic too! Good for you for following your heart!
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason you have over 484 followers...HONESTY! Keep on rocking!
ReplyDeleteCan I be cheesy and call you "GA(Y)MY"? Shit, that sounds better when you say it than trying to type it out.
ReplyDeleteI read the body language in the picture of you two on the last post, and it was between the lines from the post about how she felt about people who have had WLS.
Pssh... like people are going to care. Hell, you already danced before every show, right? ;)
Mazel tov to you both! You sound and look radiantly happy and I am so glad you and Heather have found each other.
ReplyDeleteWishing you only the best my beautiful friend!
This by far has to be one of my favorite posts from you. I have goosebumps, in a good way. I'm happy for you that you feel so safe and at home with her. That's hard to find and I think it is wonderful! I will be emailing you shortly.
ReplyDeleteOh! And screw the turtlenecks in Chicago! Hahaha!
Whatever makes you happy little one is fine by me. I'm just panicked about how in shape you're going to be dating a trainer...
ReplyDeleteLove ya!
Have I told you how amazing you are? I am sooo happy for you. She is radiant and I know that if you love her, she is beautiful both inside and out. When I saw the last beach picture of the two of you, I just knew and I was like "Yea, Amy!!!". You just looked so happy. Don't worry about what other people think...easier said than done, I know. Know that we love you and trust me, if I weren't married, I'd be all over you like a bum on a ham sandwich!! Don't let anyone try and define you and who you are. I'm married, but I love and have loved women, too. It's who you are inside and how you treat others that make you who you are, not who you sleep with.
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you Amy!!! Hugs!!!
thanks for sharing! like many others, i had an idea that heather might be this person you had feelings for. i'm sorry about what's going on with tracey, but you just have to be a little selfish sometimes.
ReplyDeletealso, like others have said, i admire your openness with your blog. you don't have to give us your address or phone number, yet you still make us feel like we are truly good friends of yours and that you have trust in us.
so, thanks!
Congrats Amy for finding love! It doesn't matter if its a woman or man all that matters is that your happy! When my friend came out she expected me to run for the hills I just asked her if she thought I was a lil hot! We've never been closer! Live your life! Skinny, in love, and happy!
ReplyDeleteAmy I am so HAPPY that you ARE HAPPY!
ReplyDeleteI hope she is not charging you for sessions :)
So glad you could be so open and share with us!
Now no more hiding!!!
I have to admit, I was a little, "Well, duh!" When I read this entry. I was just wondering when you were going to... er... come out with it. ;)
ReplyDeleteI am happy for you and truly glad that you have found someone to love.
Oh, and for very hot stuff, try sugar water. That is supposed to work. And, if you cook with jalapenos again, be sure to wash your hands before hitting the bathroom, cause trust me, girl, that is one hot hootenanny you don't want! ^^
Does Heather know how extremely lucky she is to have you? I'm proud to be one of 484 who has the privilege of calling you my friend.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't be happier for you in finally finding your own truth. May you both be blessed with nothing but happiness from here on end.
I luv u Amy.
Hey Amy,
ReplyDeleteOne of the things us a community love about you the most is you stay true to yourself. You don't bullshit or skirt around subjects and here, you've managed to do it again.
Be happy girl. This is not massive news for some of us (I had a feeling about this a while back) and if Heather is the girl for you, then she's the girl for you.
Love and much admiration
Cara xx
First things first: I didn't think it was possible to love you more than I did, but I really do! Welcome to "the family" honey.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, I so knew when I saw your pics on FB. You both looked so comfortable together. (Not that you didn't with Tracy, but ya know) Can I say she is a hottie?! Whoo!
You make a beautiful couple!
There now, don't you feel better. I love you dear and I am glad to know that you are happy and in a great place.
ReplyDeleteOnce I saw the beach pic a few posts back, I already figured that was the other person. No biggy, love is love. You guys look cute together :)
ReplyDeleteYou go girl! I am a new follower and love reading your blog. It really rocks, and now rocks even more! Yay to you for being true and honest! I agree with everyone else as well....she IS pretty hot!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny... I also sensed this from the beach photo. Good for you girl. Follow your heart.. no matter where it takes you! You are, as always, incredible.
ReplyDeleteLove is special and precious. Treasure it!
ReplyDeleteAnd who do you think you were kidding with your "person" and "they"! I know the pronoun game! ;)
xx
Yeah, I'm with your dad on this one too.
ReplyDeleteWahoo...free personal training!
So lovely to see you happy xxx
ReplyDeleteI love ya Amy and I am glad you are happy. You deserve it and I am so with your Dad on this one!
ReplyDeleteWould it be inappropraite to say that I TOTALLY KNEW IT!?! I can now breathe a sigh of relief that my amazing gaydar is in tact and in working order.
ReplyDeleteMostly though, I want to say that I'm glad you're happy. Because that is the most important thing.
Welcome to the family.
amy i am so proud of you and so happy that you finally found what makes you happy. i saw you very confused with tracey. it took this journey for you to realize what you really wanted and i couldn't be happier for you. thanks for sharing this with us. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad that this journey has led you home. Here's to happiness that never ends and love that is as sweet as can be. Smooches!
ReplyDeleteI'm with the others. When I saw the pics of you and Heather on the beach I just knew it. I have 2 sisters that are bi so I've seen that look before. YOU ARE GLOWING when you are with her...and she looks pretty dang happy too!! I am so happy for both of you!
ReplyDeleteI thought you were wonderful before and I am thrilled for you now.
ReplyDeleteNothing but big puffy hearts and support here.
... and maybe a little jealousy that I'm not as brave and open as you.
But mostly big puffy hearts...
Oh Amy...I'm so happy for you. This is the first post in a long time when you've sounded so much like yourself again. How truly wonderful! You are such a sweet person and I'm glad that you've found happiness. XOXO
ReplyDeletethumbs up! so happy that you are where you want to be and showing it to the world. people that feel that they have to be in the closet make me so sad for them. you're a great looking couple. i really liked tracey and how he supported you. and i see that he still does. he's a great friend and i hope he stays in your circle.
ReplyDeleteSo happy that you're happy, Amy. I hope putting it here has freed you from whatever burden you felt holding back.
ReplyDeleteI wish you and Heather all the happiness and love in the world. xoxo
Good on you girl for putting it out there....that is the Amy we know and love and would not expect anything different. Full disclosure and honesty! LOL.
ReplyDeleteI believe you can fall in love with whoever, as long as that person makes you happy and your feelings are true and honest. It can be a hard adjustment (particularly for friends and family who may not understand) but you need to stick it out and do what is right for you.
Why fight feelings when you can enjoy the ride (so to speak!). xx
Good on you for being who you are. Wishing you love and happiness always.
ReplyDeleteEm :)
That is awesome you feel at home and happy!! You are still the same amazing Amy we all know and love! You rock!
ReplyDeleteLong time reader, first time comment.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit, I had my suspicions...
The way you wrote about Heather portrayed the affection you felt for her.
I'm glad you're happy!
I think Heather looks like Pink the rockstar! You totally look hot together xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to agree with the consensus here and say...yeah I had an inkling. Congrats and stay happy.
ReplyDeleteNew follower as well...and even as a new follower, after that pic at the beach I was like hmm I wonder if...
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Amy. Be who you are and love yourself for it!
Amy, I've always looked to your blog for inspiration about being more open on mine. I don't think I'll ever get to your level, but it makes me re-think how much I edit out!
ReplyDeleteI'm happy that you are where you're supposed to be!
A beautiful, eloquent post by a beautiful and eloquent girl. You are scrumtralescent, and I wish you nothing but happy.
ReplyDeleteLook how loved you are! :)
11 years later and you are still the most amazing woman I know. You inspire me to live my dreams!!
ReplyDeleteXoXo Lush
Okay - I have to admit that I had NOO clue - until I saw the beach pic of you and heather - and you with the thigh hug and toe point (couldn't see the toe, but knew the calf was flexed!). That just screams "She is mine"! LOL!! Even without the written clue, the photo spoke volumes. It is such a rare thing when we have that 'home' feeling with new experiences. Hold on to it and don't let it go girl!
ReplyDeleteJust realized that your calf doesn't show in the beach pic - but I just KNOW THAT YOUR TOE WAS POINTED!! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that love is love and that sometimes you can't chose how you love. It just happens. I am so very proud of you for being brave enough to actually peruse this. <3
ReplyDeleteGood for you! I hope you find lasting love and happiness!! You are an amazing and beautiful woman, inside and out. I have enjoyed reading your blog and envy your openness. I guess I have alot of shame that goes along with my obsession over not having people know about my band. You are an encouragement and inspiration, and you don't even know I exist!
ReplyDeletexox.
Good for you mama! I say do whatever makes you happy :) We shouldnt worry about what everyone else says and looks like your doing a pretty good job of that! And that picture is super cute of yall!
ReplyDeleteI can't believe I missed this post earlier!! And the shout-out. ;) I will say that I thought this was the case when I saw the photo you posted of you guys. BTW, that girl has a SICK body! I could workout for another year and still not be that cut!
ReplyDeleteIt's so great that you've found love and are happy! No need to put a label on it -- just enjoy it! I wonder if the fact that the other person isn't a man makes this a little easier for Tracy.
Hello honey,
ReplyDeleteIf you are happy, then Mama's happy too. You only live once, so be as happy as you can be! I love you lots!
Kudos my Dear Amy! xoxo Thank you for sharing, it gives me courage to share "more truth".
ReplyDeletePS- you both are freaking HOT!!!!
Love, in whatever form it comes in, is something to be held close and enjoy its preciousness (is that a word?). Getting caught up in the trappings is what gets us in trouble.
ReplyDeleteWhomever you find love in, guy or girl, is irrelevant. The most important thing is that you love.
Whether Heather is hot or not, that's beside the point. It's nice, but in the end, doesn't matter. How she treats you, now that's what counts.
I'm happy that you have found someone who makes you so happy. Enjoy each other!
Amy, I'm so happy that you're happy! I have to say though that when I saw your beach pics I could see the love in your face but I wondered which one of the guys you were interested in. Ha Ha, I'm such a knucklehead! I think the majority of people have the ability to be attracted to/interested in either gender. I think it's the person, not the plumbing! I'm glad you felt comfortable enough with all your cyber friends to put it all out there so you could come back and keep putting it all out there :)
ReplyDeleteBe true to yourself and be happy! So proud of you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteOk I have missed a ton in trying to get my son ready to go off to college. Wow! There is a saying in the hood: "Do you."
ReplyDeleteYou have to be happy with who you are and if Heather makes you happy then go for it.
Love you Amy!!!
Amy - wow... computer goes down for one day and I miss this post!!! Congrats... I, like everyone else, kind of had a thought... glad that you're happy. And in this world, if someone can find someone else (or more) to love them and treat them with respect, that is all that matters... And I agree with Catherine that she has an incredible body!
ReplyDeleteLove is love and it seems like you are surrounded in it. Enjoy this time in your life!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing lady, Amy. I've already said what I needed to say to ya :)
ReplyDeleteAmy you are in love :-) Doesnt matter who with as long as you are happy!!! I hope this puts your heart and Tracys heart at peace. I wish you and Heather all the happiness in the world!!! And uhm yea she is hot!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is what I miss when I dont come to class with you or read blogs for a day! Im so happy for you! Im so happy your happy and maybe you wont skip out on Zumba with me anymore! How could you keep this from me! I LOVE YOU!!! lol Ill talk to you about this tonight.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you! I am still like in month mmmmm Fen I think of this year ( I am reading since post 1 to the newest) but I had to cheat and read the last couple of two kuz I saw the last pix u posted and also was able to see the love in the pix :)
ReplyDeleteLove is love wether between a man & woman or woman & woman or man & man! As long as you are happy that is all that matters! CHEERS!!!
Now back to Feb, and my last sunkist before my preop diet tomorrow!
Love ya!
Amy.....I had to say I knew from the begining! I could always tell the someone giving you attention was probably Heather! Ya'll look super cute together and it looks like ya'll are really comfortable together!!!!! Thanks for sharing! I still love you and think you are super hot! Yay for Amy!!
ReplyDeleteAmy what is left to say that hasn't been said 73 times? I am very happy for you but I have 2 questions -
ReplyDelete1. What was it that let you know Heather was the one and was enough for you to let go of Tracey?
and
2. Do you get your training for free now? ha ha
Love ya Chick
As long as you are doing what makes you happy than that is all that matters, I am looking forward to hearing about your new love!!
ReplyDeleteI think its really funny that all of us knew. You cannot keep a secret from us! Wherever your journey takes you I'm glad that you are happy. This couldn't have been easy for you and I'm glad you shared it with us. I'm really glad that your family is supportive, I'm sure that it helps.
ReplyDeletecongrats to you on finding yourself. sometimes life just has to show us who we are supposed to be with before we realize who we really are.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're happy.
ReplyDeleteKeep on sharing girl cause you just keep gettin better and better!! Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to tell my whole story..... your metaphoric balls are obviously as big as your actuals! Luv u poo!
ReplyDeleteIt is a known fact that losing (Weight) can help us find ourselves. We cna realize who we are and that we are not who we think we are... It is so wonderful to hear that you have found happiness and love. Hearts don't really have genders, do they? Enjoy discovering yourself and don't feel guilty for being happy. Tracey will find happiness again too. You are so brave for being so honest and open. It is inpsirational all around. I think all of our blogs will grow into a life blog when we are as far along as you. The band is just a part of your life now... and for us newbies it has to be a big part of their life until we get used to the lifestyle and get close to our goals like you... fingers crossed. You inspire me everyday. Be happy. *Maria*-Blogger from "This one time at Band Camp..." mybigfatbandgeeklife.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteUm, so I go away to Mexico for 5 days and come back to this (not-so shocking) news!! I saw your pics on FB and thought, "wow, if they aren't a couple, I don't know who is.. I love the way they look together" Amy - so happy for you that you've found your "home"...
ReplyDeleteAmy I am sooo happy that you found happiness....I am sorry for the struggles that you had to go through to get there, but happy to find your shining light
ReplyDeleteSorry that I have been out of the loop for way to long!! But I caught a glimpse of this post and just had to comment!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others, we love you and only want your happiness! And I agree with Cara "The Dash". I kind of had an idea...but wasn't sure. But the photo of the two of you together says it all!
You two look so happy and at ease with each other. I am sorry that Tracy has to go through this, but I am happy for you that you found someone that truly makes you this happy.
Debi
I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to say thank you for trusting us enough to share! I'm so glad you're happy and support you 1,000%!
ReplyDeleteI was away when you posted so I'm just catching up. I still love ya Ames and I'm so glad you're happy. You certainly look happy in the picture too. :o)
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you're back and blogging. I've missed your posts.
Yes Amy...we ALL knew.......that your toe was pointed!!! ha! So glad you are happy and I LOVE how you answered the "are you gay" question! Great answer! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteDitto to all that was said above..
ReplyDeleteLet me just add to the outpouring of love here..
First rule in life: Be happy..
the rest will all follow on...
So happy for you Amy! I was totally mesmerized by that first pic of you and Heather - you just look great together! But more important, you look so happy. And again, could Heather be any hotter?
ReplyDeleteSorry it took me a whole day to respond busy with the newborn - i had a suspicion when i saw the pic on facebook
ReplyDeleteyou look great together and very happy! love is love - the sex of the person is irrelevant :-)
Amy, I am so happy for you and Heather!
ReplyDeleteI must also say that I am moved by the outpouring of support and acceptance by the other commenters. My sister is gay and, as we live in Georgia, it's not always an easy journey for her. I am just so proud that I have found this community of people who are so open minded and non-judgemental.
But, it's not about me. It's about you!--and your super HOT girlfriend. Wow!
WOOT! Saw some pics of you guys on the beach on FB and had a feeling then! You totally deserve all the happiness in the world!
ReplyDeleteI tried to scroll past everyone's comments so I wouldn't copy or be repetitive. But - I realized the sentiment is really the same because you are so admired for your honesty and silliness. I'm glad you're happy - no one really cares I don't think who it is - just that you're happy. I can't imagine how many comments you must be reading on this post - but I have to agree - you look happy, you look amazing, really. Oh, and yeah, she's cute too!
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the party too, but wanted to chime in that I'm so happy you've found yourself...and Heather! No wonder your biceps are looking so good sista! I'm glad we have happy Amy back! Love is everything.
ReplyDeletei am sooo late that this party is basically over now. but what can i say? i've been detached from reality without internet for almost two weeks! anyway... girl i also "knew" when i saw those pics. there was just something about ya'll. i'm so happy for you to feel so happy! =)
ReplyDeleteHaving only been reading this blog for the last few days, it has become almost like a novel or movie to me. Full of ups and downs and I was eager to read the next post to see what is going on in Amy's world. For you, this blogged journey of self-discovery has been nearly 2 years in the making and I congratulate you on finding happiness for yourself.
ReplyDeleteTo be completely honest though, I had tears in my eyes when I read that you are no longer with Tracey and have moved on. It seems like he has been very supportive during your transition, and it seems like he wants you to be happy even in this new chapter in your life.
I hope that you don't take my comment as any form of judgement. I felt compelled to comment on these turn of events. I know that this has probably been a difficult and confusing decision for you to make. I hope one day, I will be able have as much success and happiness as you seem to have now.
Wow. You get more amazing with every passing month. (And, yes, I know that it is creepy that I have spent an entire day basically stalking you. Damn, have I enjoyed it though.)
ReplyDeleteReading 18 months of your life in one day has definitely shown how much you love Tracey and I can't even imagine the inner struggle you must have felt. Just wanted to drop in and say that I am awed by the strength and courage that it took for you do what was needed in order for you to be happy.
WOW I a sabbatical from blog land and you come out ~ LOL ~ Amy W, me still wuvs you, your honesty and ALL the sharing you do in blogland! I learn so much from you!! ;-)
ReplyDelete